So I can't fuck my girlfriend

28if · 02-05-2009, 07:54 PM

It literally does not work. She experiences extreme pain every time we try, and my dick will just NOT go in. She's a virgin, I am not. We've been dating for a year

Apparently there is a name for this "condition:" Vaginismus.

Apparently you have to "systematically desensitize" the area by starting small and sticking larger and larger things up there, but she wont buy the kits they sell for it and refuses to use a cucumber and a vegetable peeler (my suggestion). Anybody have experience with this/advice?

Travis Meeks · 02-05-2009, 07:58 PM

28if, welcome to Tier 1

Nimrod's Son · 02-05-2009, 07:58 PM

Start with one finger.

Then two.

Then three.

Get her used to the fingers and the increasing size.

Travis Meeks · 02-05-2009, 08:01 PM

is she naked in your bed right now as you search netphoria for a solution?

Travis Meeks · 02-05-2009, 08:01 PM

and can you post a pic so we can get a better idea of what we're dealing with?

Thaniel Buckner · 02-05-2009, 08:02 PM

i know a girl with this.

Travis Meeks · 02-05-2009, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nimrod's Son

Start with one finger.

Then two.

Then three.

Get her used to the fingers and the increasing size.

wait, were you talking to me or 28if? Should I be inserting the fingers in her

JokeyLoki · 02-05-2009, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 28if

vegetable peeler

WTF, are you serious? There's your problem. The thought of a sharp object in a hoo-ha pretty much turns chicks off.

Seriously though, what Nimrod said.

Thaniel Buckner · 02-05-2009, 08:06 PM

i think he means graduating the size of the cucumber with the vegetable peeler.

gpub · 02-05-2009, 08:06 PM

oh, bummer... your chicks got a tight pussy.

Travis Meeks · 02-05-2009, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thaniel Buckner

i think he means graduating the size of the cucumber with the vegetable peeler.

why not just use a Slap Chop?

Travis Meeks · 02-05-2009, 08:08 PM

28if, can you post a link to one of these pussy opening kits?

JokeyLoki · 02-05-2009, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thaniel Buckner

i think he means graduating the size of the cucumber with the vegetable peeler.

Oh, yeah, I guess that makes sense. Still, raw veggies (especially pealed) in your vag is asking for some kind of infection

Nimrod's Son · 02-05-2009, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Travis Meeks

wait, were you talking to me or 28if? Should I be inserting the fingers in her

someone should

Nimrod's Son · 02-05-2009, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JokeyLoki

Oh, yeah, I guess that makes sense. Still, raw veggies (especially pealed) in your vag is asking for some kind of infection

condoms.

Thaniel Buckner · 02-05-2009, 08:12 PM

didnt you go to school for some kind of engineering jokeyloki.

28if · 02-05-2009, 08:13 PM

lol they're all over the net. it's just a set of dildos steadily increasing in size.

She can handle two fingers with no problem, and has been using tampons forever. Apparently it's more of a psychological thing than a physical thing. The brain expects pain and refuses to open the vaginal muscles and whatnot. I guess she had a bad experience the first time she went to the gynocologist

We've been trying to do this since last summer now. I don't know what to do. I don't think there is a smiley large enough to express my feelings on this issue.

Thaniel Buckner · 02-05-2009, 08:13 PM

although since you're catholic, i can forgive not knowing what a condom is.

28if · 02-05-2009, 08:14 PM

Oh yeah JokiLoki you're a fucking idiot.

Travis Meeks · 02-05-2009, 08:15 PM

...last summer?

28if · 02-05-2009, 08:15 PM

I thought using a condom was assumed but like, even if you didn't use one how would putting a vegetable in your pussy cause some sort of infection? Like, you can fucking EAT IT, but you can't put it in your fucking vagina and move it around a little bit?

Shouldn't you be busy watermarking some shitty wedding photos or something?

28if · 02-05-2009, 08:16 PM

"JENNY ZANDRASTA"

Nimrod's Son · 02-05-2009, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 28if

lol they're all over the net. it's just a set of dildos steadily increasing in size.

She can handle two fingers with no problem, and has been using tampons forever. Apparently it's more of a psychological thing than a physical thing. The brain expects pain and refuses to open the vaginal muscles and whatnot. I guess she had a bad experience the first time she went to the gynocologist

We've been trying to do this since last summer now. I don't know what to do. I don't think there is a smiley large enough to express my feelings on this issue.

get her drunk

Thaniel Buckner · 02-05-2009, 08:18 PM

buy her a dildo.

Travis Meeks · 02-05-2009, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nimrod's Son

get her drunk

that's probably the best advice

28if · 02-05-2009, 08:20 PM

Didn't work.

Nimrod's Son · 02-05-2009, 08:21 PM

She didn't get drunk?

Nimrod's Son · 02-05-2009, 08:21 PM

Because all you do is get her drunk, start with the fingers, then slip it in without warning.

28if · 02-05-2009, 08:28 PM

Dude you're not understanding. It's like, intense physical pain. Like tear inducing pain. I'm sure this doesn't hold for the majority of Netphoria, but for me that's a pretty big boner-killer.

hnibos · 02-05-2009, 08:29 PM

give her some painkillers? oxycontin?

02-05-2009, 07:54 PM	#1
28if Apocalyptic Poster Location: yeah seriously i think we've more than established a consensus on reality, it's not that abstract. Posts: 3,454	So I can't fuck my girlfriend It literally does not work. She experiences extreme pain every time we try, and my dick will just NOT go in. She's a virgin, I am not. We've been dating for a year Apparently there is a name for this "condition:" Vaginismus. Apparently you have to "systematically desensitize" the area by starting small and sticking larger and larger things up there, but she wont buy the kits they sell for it and refuses to use a cucumber and a vegetable peeler (my suggestion). Anybody have experience with this/advice?

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02-05-2009, 07:58 PM	#2
Travis Meeks Rambling on Posts: 20,542	28if, welcome to Tier 1

02-05-2009, 07:58 PM	#3
Nimrod's Son Master of Karate and Friendship Location: in your butt Posts: 72,973	Start with one finger. Then two. Then three. Get her used to the fingers and the increasing size.

02-05-2009, 08:01 PM	#4
Travis Meeks Rambling on Posts: 20,542	is she naked in your bed right now as you search netphoria for a solution?

02-05-2009, 08:02 PM	#6
Thaniel Buckner Minion of Satan Location: kicksville Posts: 7,031	i know a girl with this.

02-05-2009, 08:06 PM	#9
Thaniel Buckner Minion of Satan Location: kicksville Posts: 7,031	i think he means graduating the size of the cucumber with the vegetable peeler.

02-05-2009, 08:06 PM	#10
gpub Minion of Satan Location: You's guys dont's likes the Toki... Well fucks you's Posts: 5,782	oh, bummer... your chicks got a tight pussy.

02-05-2009, 08:08 PM	#12
Travis Meeks Rambling on Posts: 20,542	28if, can you post a link to one of these pussy opening kits?

02-05-2009, 08:12 PM	#16
Thaniel Buckner Minion of Satan Location: kicksville Posts: 7,031	didnt you go to school for some kind of engineering jokeyloki.

02-05-2009, 08:13 PM	#17
28if Apocalyptic Poster Location: yeah seriously i think we've more than established a consensus on reality, it's not that abstract. Posts: 3,454	lol they're all over the net. it's just a set of dildos steadily increasing in size. She can handle two fingers with no problem, and has been using tampons forever. Apparently it's more of a psychological thing than a physical thing. The brain expects pain and refuses to open the vaginal muscles and whatnot. I guess she had a bad experience the first time she went to the gynocologist We've been trying to do this since last summer now. I don't know what to do. I don't think there is a smiley large enough to express my feelings on this issue.

02-05-2009, 08:14 PM	#19
28if Apocalyptic Poster Location: yeah seriously i think we've more than established a consensus on reality, it's not that abstract. Posts: 3,454	Oh yeah JokiLoki you're a fucking idiot.

02-05-2009, 08:15 PM	#20
Travis Meeks Rambling on Posts: 20,542	...last summer?

02-05-2009, 08:16 PM	#22
28if Apocalyptic Poster Location: yeah seriously i think we've more than established a consensus on reality, it's not that abstract. Posts: 3,454	"JENNY ZANDRASTA"

02-05-2009, 08:18 PM	#24
Thaniel Buckner Minion of Satan Location: kicksville Posts: 7,031	buy her a dildo.

02-05-2009, 08:20 PM	#26
28if Apocalyptic Poster Location: yeah seriously i think we've more than established a consensus on reality, it's not that abstract. Posts: 3,454	Didn't work.

02-05-2009, 08:21 PM	#27
Nimrod's Son Master of Karate and Friendship Location: in your butt Posts: 72,973	She didn't get drunk?

02-05-2009, 08:28 PM	#29
28if Apocalyptic Poster Location: yeah seriously i think we've more than established a consensus on reality, it's not that abstract. Posts: 3,454	Dude you're not understanding. It's like, intense physical pain. Like tear inducing pain. I'm sure this doesn't hold for the majority of Netphoria, but for me that's a pretty big boner-killer.

02-05-2009, 08:29 PM	#30
hnibos Braindead Location: I was just reading, right? Posts: 15,023	give her some painkillers? oxycontin?