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View Poll Results: Huh
I believe you are 100% correct 1 20.00%
You are basically correct but they were not goblins (please specify other monster) 0 0%
Why didn’t Shaggy or Fred go to Vietnam? 0 0%
Is Shaggy the way he is because he DID go to Vietnam? 0 0%
Isn’t it cruel of the gang to constantly put him back in traumatic situations? 0 0%
Are monsters actually real, documented, and commonplace, and that’s why the trick always works? 2 40.00%
spa_ced 2 40.00%
Voters: 5. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-15-2022, 11:50 AM   #1
topleybird
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Lightbulb "The Wire" in the Scooby-Doo universe was about goblins selling crack

It'd be ludicrous to think that Mystery Inc. is encountering every single instance of some twerp dressing up as a monster to scare people away from treasure or a smuggling operation, right? No one watches "Murder She Wrote" and thinks Jessica Fletcher is around for every murder taking place worldwide. So this must be happening all over the fucking place, all the time. "Criminals dressing as monsters" has to be a regular thing.

Why? Because it works! Every single time, the whole town is terrorized and people move out or get scared off from the mansion grounds or whatever. The cops always show up at the end like "We thought someone was smuggling gold out of Puerto Rico but never connected it with what we thought was the very real ghost of Juan Carlos firing a cannon out of his fortress every night." This is why I believe the war on drugs in this world was immediately lost when cartels started employing people in giant fish costumes full-time. And it is why I believe "The Wire" on this Earth was about cops trying and failing to figure out how to fight all the goblins working the corners of Baltimore. Thank you.

I don't want to hear anyone saying Omar probably dressed as a cave troll or something. Omar went out as Omar in every universe. Except when he snuck into that stash house as an old man in a wheelchair..., oh fuck

 
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Old 06-15-2022, 03:06 PM   #2
ilikeplanets
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Is Fred anyone's favorite character?

 
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Old 06-15-2022, 03:06 PM   #3
ilikeplanets
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Like, why is Fred?

 
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Old 06-15-2022, 03:29 PM   #4
topleybird
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Lightbulb

In "Mystery Incorporated," they took him from zero-dimensional to one-dimensional by playing up his interest in traps as an unhealthy obsession that blotted everything else out. 90% of his dialogue was probably about building traps, reading Traps Monthly magazine, etc., etc. The show's unswerving commitment to this bit was admirable, imo, though it certainly didn't keep him from being the least interesting of the gang.

 
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Old 06-15-2022, 04:26 PM   #5
run2pee
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i stopped smoking weed in december but this thread made me feel high af, thanks for supporting my scheduled relapse for later this summer

 
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Old 06-17-2022, 01:13 PM   #6
BlissedandGone2
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scrappy doo sucks

 
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Old 06-17-2022, 04:02 PM   #7
topleybird
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Angry

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a Scooby-Doo fan in possession of good taste, must be an enemy of Scrappy-Doo

What I wish I saw more of, frankly, was calls for the arrest and execution of Scooby-Dum

 
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Old 06-17-2022, 05:39 PM   #8
teh b0lly!!1
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I am glad that spa_ced is leading the polls. Scooby Doo ain't shit. Why is that comic even popular? Is the dog even a ninja? It's literally Guns n' Roses

 
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