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Old 05-14-2021, 11:15 AM   #241
run2pee
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Can’t wait to get trolled for this but i already told the therapist about my smashing pumpkins board where i talk to ppl, since she asked if there’s anyone i talk to that’s friendly toward me

 
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Old 05-14-2021, 11:16 AM   #242
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But i think i should have said foo fighters or like a the killers board, cause when i mentioned SP she wrinkled her nose a bit

Just a bit mind u, she is a professional

 
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Old 05-14-2021, 11:17 AM   #243
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my therapist has extensive notes on smashing jerome jenkins and fuzzyroez

 
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Old 05-14-2021, 11:19 AM   #244
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and c wilson lmfao we both laughed pretty good when I explained him

 
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Old 05-14-2021, 11:32 AM   #245
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redbreegull View Post
my therapist has extensive notes on smashing jerome jenkins and fuzzyroez
I urgently require information on

1. how the two posters above are listed in the same sentence without sufficient space or words in between
2. what information they hold on the aforementioned 'smashing Jerome Jenkins'
3. and why

plz answer asap

 
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Old 05-14-2021, 12:51 PM   #246
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well he knows you speak some sort of ridiculous drunken european dialect and that your cat is cool. at least I hope he knows

 
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Old 05-14-2021, 12:53 PM   #247
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everyone should have a therapist, if for nothing else, to talk about c wilson

 
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Old 05-14-2021, 03:31 PM   #248
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i talked about graveflower and me worrying about her back in the day

therapist said "bring him to me" and I said that would be tough

 
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Old 05-14-2021, 06:22 PM   #249
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the party king

 
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Old 05-15-2021, 01:07 AM   #250
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Originally Posted by Run To Me View Post
Can’t wait to get trolled for this but i already told the therapist about my smashing pumpkins board where i talk to ppl, since she asked if there’s anyone i talk to that’s friendly toward me
yeah my therapist knows about the board too

felt pretty weird talking about it but now it's just normal

i think i've only mentioned a couple people in detail though. she thinks this place is good for me

 
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Old 05-15-2021, 01:43 PM   #251
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All of the people I would have mentioned in therapy are gone. There's still nice people here and I casually mention maybe 3 of you as "my friend" to people in my life that know a few vague details about you. I don't go to therapy and haven't in at least a decade, but I keep this place a total secret because I don't want anyone to feel curious and wind up reading anything I've said here. I'm not personally (that) ashamed, I just don't want to complicate where I am today.

 
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Old 05-15-2021, 02:27 PM   #252
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All of the people I would have mentioned in therapy are gone.
WHO

 
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Old 05-15-2021, 06:52 PM   #253
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If you don't know, then it isn't you!

 
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Old 05-15-2021, 07:14 PM   #254
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Seeing as I've been through umpteen therapists and they all seem to be the same, I'm guessing the common denominator is me and that I just suck at therapy.

 
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Old 05-15-2021, 07:32 PM   #255
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Originally Posted by ilikeplanets View Post
All of the people I would have mentioned in therapy are gone. There's still nice people here and I casually mention maybe 3 of you as "my friend" to people in my life that know a few vague details about you. I don't go to therapy and haven't in at least a decade, but I keep this place a total secret because I don't want anyone to feel curious and wind up reading anything I've said here. I'm not personally (that) ashamed, I just don't want to complicate where I am today.
Yeah there's not exactly a lot of Smashing Pumpkins message boards so I woudln't tell anyone about it (not that I have anyone to tell). My therapist could easily find me but I know she wouldn't even if she thought of it. I've never mentioned the name of it but there's so few and she knows I'm a moderator and yeah it wouldn't be hard at all.

I def said stuff a long time ago I wish I could get rid of just for privacy's sake though

 
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Old 05-15-2021, 07:34 PM   #256
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Seeing as I've been through umpteen therapists and they all seem to be the same, I'm guessing the common denominator is me and that I just suck at therapy.
Have you ever been to one that specializes in autism spectrum clients (not diagnosing you but I think you've mentioned it before)?

I've never been to therapists that weren't trauma-focused (which I think almost assures they will be very into being a therapist because they really deal with a lot), but it's my impression that many therapists are interchangeable and not very good. So it might not be you. Didn't you say they all told you some bullshit like thinking positive thoughts or something?

 
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Old 05-15-2021, 07:38 PM   #257
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i looked at my online portal and that neurologist actually put mild cognitive impairment on my chart. i guess based on the MoCA test. also some weird skull malformation i've never heard of. oh and my reflexes are absent in arms and legs.

man woman tv camera fuckyou

this is actually really interesting to me and i'm not too worried or anything. not often i get to read about new medical stuff i didn't know i had

 
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Old 05-19-2021, 06:41 PM   #258
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i want to tear my head off and i want to die

 
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Old 05-20-2021, 03:28 PM   #259
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sorry dude.
same here

 
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Old 05-20-2021, 03:30 PM   #260
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this is pretty good for tearing your head off


 
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Old 05-20-2021, 04:00 PM   #261
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I'm tired af working 2 jobs

one is at a record store so that's kinda chill at least

 
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Old 05-20-2021, 05:37 PM   #262
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I don't know why I'm so tired. It's 3:36 PM, and I haven't gotten out of bed.

 
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Old 05-20-2021, 09:42 PM   #263
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I don't know why I'm so tired. It's 3:36 PM, and I haven't gotten out of bed.
cancer

or depression.

probably depression

 
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Old 05-20-2021, 10:26 PM   #264
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depression is way worse than cancer cause people still expect you to live

lol

i had my first emdr session, which wasn't really a session, just me going over everything fucked up about me to the doctor. it was, i think, at least the easiest time i've had explaining myself to a doctor.

thank god my mom was there, cause the doctor said she wasn't accepting new patients, but also just saw me? and said to try to schedule more times with her? i cannot, physically cannot handle mixed signals.

rejection sensitivity gang

 
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Old 05-20-2021, 10:33 PM   #265
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also does anyone know how to be in a cover band and not kill yourself?

[tone: completely earnest and somberly sad. like literally romeo at the beginning of the play where he's moping in his room for a week and everyone thinks he's being a dumbass. not trying to be shitty to anyone in the band, they're good guys and nice and all; if they're just having fun then i am happy for them and jealous]

by that i mean - this is the only place that might get what i mean - it's depressing to me. it feels shallow, and i can't ever be shallow with anything. and i don't want to. i love being intense and earnest usually. but this is this weird paradox where you're playing out and trying hard, but you're not being 'honest' because you're using someone else's words and chords

and i feel like we're killing ourselves trying to learn like, this pantera song or whatever, and...why? why not write stuff and jam and record?

like i'm not saying i'm a good enough drummer to be...whoever. it's just...i love indie rock and dreampop and i feel like i know those songs are way more chill and fun to make than it would be to learn master of puppets front to back

it's probably my dumbass ADHD thing or whatever, like i have issues with commitment and abandonment and rejection

Last edited by Ram27 : 05-20-2021 at 11:04 PM.

 
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Old 05-21-2021, 12:28 AM   #266
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Originally Posted by Ram27 View Post
depression is way worse than cancer cause people still expect you to live

lol

i had my first emdr session, which wasn't really a session, just me going over everything fucked up about me to the doctor. it was, i think, at least the easiest time i've had explaining myself to a doctor.

thank god my mom was there, cause the doctor said she wasn't accepting new patients, but also just saw me? and said to try to schedule more times with her? i cannot, physically cannot handle mixed signals.

rejection sensitivity gang
that does sound confusing

 
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Old 05-21-2021, 03:27 AM   #267
run2pee
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Originally Posted by Ram27 View Post
also does anyone know how to be in a cover band and not kill yourself?

[tone: completely earnest and somberly sad. like literally romeo at the beginning of the play where he's moping in his room for a week and everyone thinks he's being a dumbass. not trying to be shitty to anyone in the band, they're good guys and nice and all; if they're just having fun then i am happy for them and jealous]

by that i mean - this is the only place that might get what i mean - it's depressing to me. it feels shallow, and i can't ever be shallow with anything. and i don't want to. i love being intense and earnest usually. but this is this weird paradox where you're playing out and trying hard, but you're not being 'honest' because you're using someone else's words and chords

and i feel like we're killing ourselves trying to learn like, this pantera song or whatever, and...why? why not write stuff and jam and record?

like i'm not saying i'm a good enough drummer to be...whoever. it's just...i love indie rock and dreampop and i feel like i know those songs are way more chill and fun to make than it would be to learn master of puppets front to back

it's probably my dumbass ADHD thing or whatever, like i have issues with commitment and abandonment and rejection
You can always be in more than 1 band. Knew plenty of musicians who did cover bands to stay active (can always find a band, gig, etc since these are actually booked and get paid around here) while doing their creative stuff with another group. Have u tried lookin for bands doing dreampop indies? Or posting your own ad?

Don’t give up Ram, keep hitten them tomfills and master the puppets outta those other ppl words/riff until u find the golden day

 
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Old 05-21-2021, 03:50 AM   #268
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ram27 View Post
also does anyone know how to be in a cover band and not kill yourself?

[tone: completely earnest and somberly sad. like literally romeo at the beginning of the play where he's moping in his room for a week and everyone thinks he's being a dumbass. not trying to be shitty to anyone in the band, they're good guys and nice and all; if they're just having fun then i am happy for them and jealous]

by that i mean - this is the only place that might get what i mean - it's depressing to me. it feels shallow, and i can't ever be shallow with anything. and i don't want to. i love being intense and earnest usually. but this is this weird paradox where you're playing out and trying hard, but you're not being 'honest' because you're using someone else's words and chords

and i feel like we're killing ourselves trying to learn like, this pantera song or whatever, and...why? why not write stuff and jam and record?

like i'm not saying i'm a good enough drummer to be...whoever. it's just...i love indie rock and dreampop and i feel like i know those songs are way more chill and fun to make than it would be to learn master of puppets front to back

it's probably my dumbass ADHD thing or whatever, like i have issues with commitment and abandonment and rejection
for a while i got to experience a music scene that was very much just like that, these type of dudes who routinely go to six or seven open mic nights a week, completely terrified of playing anything but well known classic rock songs.

trying to jam freely or experiment with an idea you'd get met with absolutely flabbergasted looks, like they're completely lost in the open sea. then the head scratching and beard nimbling and watch checking begins, until somebody would start playing foxy lady or whatever for the gabillionth time and the collective sigh of relief could fill the ozone.

the fact of the matter is that a lot of people, arguably even most, play music like that just to act out some kind of a juvenile rock star fantasy. the actual music is totally secondary, and finding your own voice takes courage. it's just two opposite sides of the spectrum. if you consider yourself a serious musician, my advice would be to stay away from that musically toxic shit and find yourself a real band. you're a drummer dude, that's like the hottest commodity. everyone and their sister is ALWAYS on the lookout for a great drummer. use that.

you can stay on board for a while to cut your teeth on playing live, or rehearsing, whatever it may be - there are ways you can use the situation to your advantage and maybe even have some fun doing it, or hone your chops. but stay emotionally detached, because there's just nothing there for you, no matter how much you want it to be. they simply don't speak your language, and you need to be amongst people who do.

 
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Old 05-21-2021, 09:24 PM   #269
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lots of ways to play covers and make it your own

you can bring a, forgive me, PUNK energy to anything you do

if you're gonna be stuck in that paradigm at least

 
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Old 05-21-2021, 09:36 PM   #270
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I'm tired af working 2 jobs

one is at a record store so that's kinda chill at least
we carry the new Smashing Pumpkins CD if anyone was wondering

 
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