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Old 06-03-2021, 11:54 AM   #1
reprise85
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Default Billy the comedian

anyone have any clips of billy landing a joke?

thread brought to you by T&T because using the word "Billy" in the title of a thread breaks the board, lol

Last edited by reprise85 : 06-03-2021 at 12:00 PM.

 
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Old 06-03-2021, 12:52 PM   #2
Joey Goldberg
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i liked when he pronounced it "see-a-meese dream" on some of those older shows

 
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Old 06-03-2021, 12:53 PM   #3
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& that whole thing with nick cave, for the unintentional humor of cave just not havin it

 
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Old 06-03-2021, 01:26 PM   #4
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@3:30 https://youtu.be/engk-a3OJs0?t=210
Quote:
Jay: why are you guys breaking up?
Billy: uhh, Comedy doesn't pay Jay.
Jay: huh?
Billy: Comedy doesn't pay.
Jay: Doesn'T pay?
Billy: Comedy doesn't pay.
Jay: Comedy doesn't pay.
he repeats the punchline 3 times
no one laughs.





is this funny????
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqrlVeP6puQ
was the funny part "Dennis is crying"
@2:40 "it doesn't matter LOLOLOLOL"

 
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Old 06-03-2021, 01:27 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reprise85 View Post
thread brought to you by T&T because using the word "Billy" in the title of a thread breaks the board, lol
WHo'd thought of incl uding words to break the board.

Thanks r85

 
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Old 06-03-2021, 02:54 PM   #6
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I like that clip where he's trolling Nick Cave at Lollapalooza.

 
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Old 06-03-2021, 03:01 PM   #7
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there's an interview where he's asked about having multiple personalities. he says yes, definitely. interviewer says, how many do you have? he says, well, that depends on which one you ask.

 
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Old 06-03-2021, 03:02 PM   #8
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i remember seeing them in CT on the end times tour, and they're playing mayo and some drunk guy is screaming at billy from the front row. They end the song and billy says "young man, i can't hear you, what are you trying to tell me?" drunk dude "your guitar is too loud" Billy- "my guitar is too loud because your sitting directly in front of my fucking marshall stack dude, it's science!!" he pauses, looks at the audience and calmly says "I'm also an educator." Audience laughs. I laughed too.

His sarcasm is when he's best at humor. he seems able to land those.

 
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Old 06-03-2021, 03:03 PM   #9
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there's also that one "why do you keep yelling darcy smile?" "she looks better when she smiles" "you look better when you keep your mouth shut."

that's a classic.

 
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Old 06-03-2021, 03:09 PM   #10
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there was this one time on IG where he posted a zombie gif - fucking hilarious and not expected at all

 
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Old 06-03-2021, 05:50 PM   #11
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Billy isn't a comedian, he's a tragedian

 
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Old 06-03-2021, 08:46 PM   #12
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Billy does an entire set during "The Gambler" on 10/31/2008 Columbus, Ohio

Some highlights:

The Gambler has some advice for you: Try living in a warmer state. Try living in a state with only one "O" in the title. Try not living in a city named after a fake explorer.

He kills with:

I hope these words are etching upon your heart like a bad tattoo. I'm guessing there's some bad tattoos out there.... you know what I'm talking about. It's hard to work at the post office with those full sleeves. It's hot... you gotta wear the short sleeve shirt. The Gambler... no tattoos.

I want you to open up your heart... Then later, I want you to open up your wallet.

Then he roasts Jeff for playing the wrong cord.

Classic Billy! I love it.

 
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Old 06-04-2021, 03:33 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by T&T View Post
@3:30 https://youtu.be/engk-a3OJs0?t=210

he repeats the punchline 3 times
no one laughs.


basically the perfect example. bill is so unfunny and self-centered, he just doesn't get that saying "comedy doesn't pay" (three times, no less) to an extremely wealthy comedian, on his nationally televised comedy show* probably isn't gonna land.

just ugh. UGH

FUCK YOU BILL!!!






*a show which admittedly sucks, but that's not the issue here

 
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Old 06-04-2021, 12:14 PM   #14
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I think the Jay Leno thing is ok. It’s billy amusing himself and not giving a shit is how I take it.

I can’t remember the last time he even said something that lighthearted.

 
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Old 06-04-2021, 12:16 PM   #15
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I'll take any excuse I can to watch that Leno performance. Band was shit-hot.

 
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Old 06-04-2021, 01:51 PM   #16
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“James doesn’t like to tune if you know what I mean”
Classic Bill during the 5-13-2000 show. Right before the “shoe in the face” story.
An audience member raised their hand saying that yes he deserved to be hit in the face with a shoe. Bill goes on to say he’s going to kick his ass “you plaid mother fucker” and then says “You can’t hide I saw you at a Pearl Jam show. Hey it’s the kid from the Jeremy video.”

 
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Old 06-04-2021, 02:00 PM   #17
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billy ONO corgan

it's so dumb but his sheer amusement plus the little "whoosh" motion make me chuckle every time

that little MTV lolla segment really is just a mid-90s pumpkin gem overall, really

 
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Old 06-04-2021, 02:23 PM   #18
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2008 11-03, Massey Hall, Toronto

"I’m sure we’ve disappointed a few of you tonight, yes, it happens. Like for instance, this young man over here yelling “Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock,” as if I’m fucking deaf! “Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, hey, Billy, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, you remember, Cherub Rock, it’s in E, Cherub Rock, (sings five notes of main riff), Cherub Rock.” My friend, Cherub Rock is night 2 of the extravaganza, okay? Night 2. You find me, you find me a band without beards who can play 48 fuckin’ songs over two nights, okay? This ain’t no hippie shit. This is prog, people.

(sings) Everything is beautiful...oh, it’s so good!...in its own way, sing with us!

Everyone is beautiful in your own Canadian way. Saskatoon, Newfoundland, Quebec, Toronto...what a beautiful country.

(sings) You’re the most beautiful crowd I’ve ever seen.

I know when I lay my head on my pillow tonight, I’ll be dreaming of you. That’s right. And as I faintly drift off to sleep, I’ll hear “(whispering) Cherub Rock (getting louder) Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock (normal voice) Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock (slowing down as if breaking) Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock” like a bad fuckin’ acid trip!

My friends, ay-mena, shush, I may not be president tomorrow...but I still rule this earth right here, that’s right, (barks). Ha ha, I am the king of all this land. Cherub Rock included, fucker! I wrote that song in a car, buddy, going to work, okay? ‘Cause I didn’t have anything better to do that day. Ladies and gentlemen, we have to go, we have to go. The big hand of Geddy Lee is coming down upon us: (high pitched) “Leave the stage. Leave the stage.” (normal) So we bid you adieu until tomorrow. Good night, ladies and gentlemen! We love you! Good night!" (mic drop)

 
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Old 06-04-2021, 03:19 PM   #19
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I always liked the old "Are you ready to rock?" "Well you're in the wrong place" or however it went.

and the shoe story was entertaining on the 5/13/2000 show.

 
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Old 06-04-2021, 08:49 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by T&T View Post
@3:30 https://youtu.be/engk-a3OJs0?t=210

he repeats the punchline 3 times
no one laughs.





is this funny????
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqrlVeP6puQ
was the funny part "Dennis is crying"
@2:40 "it doesn't matter LOLOLOLOL"
its pretty funny

 
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Old 06-04-2021, 08:51 PM   #21
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i wish billy was a shitposter

 
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Old 06-04-2021, 09:54 PM   #22
Big Truck05
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadaloo View Post
2008 11-03, Massey Hall, Toronto

"Iím sure weíve disappointed a few of you tonight, yes, it happens. Like for instance, this young man over here yelling ďCherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock,Ē as if Iím fucking deaf! ďCherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, hey, Billy, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, you remember, Cherub Rock, itís in E, Cherub Rock, (sings five notes of main riff), Cherub Rock.Ē My friend, Cherub Rock is night 2 of the extravaganza, okay? Night 2. You find me, you find me a band without beards who can play 48 fuckiní songs over two nights, okay? This ainít no hippie shit. This is prog, people.

(sings) Everything is beautiful...oh, itís so good!...in its own way, sing with us!

Everyone is beautiful in your own Canadian way. Saskatoon, Newfoundland, Quebec, Toronto...what a beautiful country.

(sings) Youíre the most beautiful crowd Iíve ever seen.

I know when I lay my head on my pillow tonight, Iíll be dreaming of you. Thatís right. And as I faintly drift off to sleep, Iíll hear ď(whispering) Cherub Rock (getting louder) Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock (normal voice) Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock (slowing down as if breaking) Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub RockĒ like a bad fuckiní acid trip!

My friends, ay-mena, shush, I may not be president tomorrow...but I still rule this earth right here, thatís right, (barks). Ha ha, I am the king of all this land. Cherub Rock included, fucker! I wrote that song in a car, buddy, going to work, okay? ĎCause I didnít have anything better to do that day. Ladies and gentlemen, we have to go, we have to go. The big hand of Geddy Lee is coming down upon us: (high pitched) ďLeave the stage. Leave the stage.Ē (normal) So we bid you adieu until tomorrow. Good night, ladies and gentlemen! We love you! Good night!" (mic drop)
Another classic

 
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Old 06-04-2021, 10:46 PM   #23
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The improvised questions when playing “Once in a Lifetime” on the Machina tour were funny

 
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Old 06-05-2021, 03:51 AM   #24
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what was the show where he did a smashing pumpkins trivia, and he asked "what's the b-side to our first 7" single i am one?"
and then nobody knows it, and he goes "not worth asking".
that's a joke, right? (i don't remember anyone laughing, though.)

 
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Old 06-05-2021, 10:07 AM   #25
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Billy is super funny.....






Funny looking!

bahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!


Mark my words, because of this post, within 12 hours bolly will have another bullying lecture on Instagram

 
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Old 06-05-2021, 10:14 AM   #26
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consensus on netphoria seems split. billy should and will take that as a measure of success. maybe he'll start writing comedy.


I consider it a joke as well when billy says "i've been busy writing wrestling scripts". I don't pay attention to any of his wrestling stuff and I pray he's just trolling (he's serious isn't he?)

 
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Old 06-05-2021, 10:23 AM   #27
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When Billy said he played a character during Mellon Collie. Funniest joke ever.

 
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Old 06-05-2021, 12:41 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wHATcOLOR View Post
basically the perfect example. bill is so unfunny and self-centered, he just doesn't get that saying "comedy doesn't pay" (three times, no less) to an extremely wealthy comedian, on his nationally televised comedy show* probably isn't gonna land.

just ugh. UGH

FUCK YOU BILL!!!






*a show which admittedly sucks, but that's not the issue here






did you just say about BC?

 
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Old 06-05-2021, 03:09 PM   #29
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i think you heard me just fine, joseph

 
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Old 06-08-2021, 12:39 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadaloo View Post
2008 11-03, Massey Hall, Toronto

"Iím sure weíve disappointed a few of you tonight, yes, it happens. Like for instance, this young man over here yelling ďCherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock,Ē as if Iím fucking deaf! ďCherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, hey, Billy, Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock, you remember, Cherub Rock, itís in E, Cherub Rock, (sings five notes of main riff), Cherub Rock.Ē My friend, Cherub Rock is night 2 of the extravaganza, okay? Night 2. You find me, you find me a band without beards who can play 48 fuckiní songs over two nights, okay? This ainít no hippie shit. This is prog, people.

(sings) Everything is beautiful...oh, itís so good!...in its own way, sing with us!

Everyone is beautiful in your own Canadian way. Saskatoon, Newfoundland, Quebec, Toronto...what a beautiful country.

(sings) Youíre the most beautiful crowd Iíve ever seen.

I know when I lay my head on my pillow tonight, Iíll be dreaming of you. Thatís right. And as I faintly drift off to sleep, Iíll hear ď(whispering) Cherub Rock (getting louder) Cherub Rock, Cherub Rock (normal voice) Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock (slowing down as if breaking) Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub Rock Cherub RockĒ like a bad fuckiní acid trip!

My friends, ay-mena, shush, I may not be president tomorrow...but I still rule this earth right here, thatís right, (barks). Ha ha, I am the king of all this land. Cherub Rock included, fucker! I wrote that song in a car, buddy, going to work, okay? ĎCause I didnít have anything better to do that day. Ladies and gentlemen, we have to go, we have to go. The big hand of Geddy Lee is coming down upon us: (high pitched) ďLeave the stage. Leave the stage.Ē (normal) So we bid you adieu until tomorrow. Good night, ladies and gentlemen! We love you! Good night!" (mic drop)
I was a few rows down during that rant, he literally turned and pointed at "Cherub Rock included, FUCKER!" I died.

Great Billy one-liner from SD tour. "This song is called Soma. It's about when he went and toured Minneapolis and nobody liked us, treated us mean."

 
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