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Old 03-18-2022, 09:53 PM   #1
run2pee
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Default i am hypomanic ama before i crash

Nevermind, crashed

 
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Old 03-18-2022, 11:22 PM   #2
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Can I still ask something?

 
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Old 03-18-2022, 11:22 PM   #3
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Does that count as my question?

 
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Old 03-18-2022, 11:55 PM   #4
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What's it like coming to the realization that you're not god, and just another chump in the rat race like the rest of us?

 
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Old 03-19-2022, 12:22 AM   #5
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mom says it's my turn to experience the universe

 
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Old 03-19-2022, 12:34 AM   #6
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Can I still ask something?
Why do any of us ask anything let alone why are words who cares

 
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Old 03-19-2022, 12:38 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by Disco King View Post
What's it like coming to the realization that you're not god, and just another chump in the rat race like the rest of us?
The hypersociability is missed. I don’t talk to people or if i do i mumble bullshit to get it to end, when im down. Which for me it’s up/down. There is very little normal when the cycling starts, takes a few days to get to some stable run of days, and then any little thing fucks it up again

But anyway yeah miss being able to chat, ppl fucken like that if u never checked, they really do especially if u ask em something about theirselves

Also miss being able to see and hear things outside this little like dog cone or the cone thing they put on dogs so they don’t bite the stitches out their scroat. Like oh there’s a bird up there and it’s this type, and that’s a fine bit of graffiti and oh don’t trip and watch the cars at this intersection will the fuckers stop wee hoo look at that dick in the hat that’s quite a hat huh isn’t it

Well it can get irritating but it’s better than not hearing or seeing anything until u fall into it or it falls in your little dog cone there

 
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Old 03-19-2022, 12:40 AM   #8
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mom says it's my turn to experience the universe
She does? Tell me about that or ask yourself anything about that and tell us how u do

 
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Old 03-19-2022, 02:35 AM   #9
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Does that count as my question?
No goddamit ask your question

As a bonus i will promise to post my brain mri right here on this little piece of shit little wonderful board here, if i can get this thread up to 69 post

 
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Old 03-19-2022, 12:54 PM   #10
yo soy el mejor
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oh yeah man i get like this or at least i used to...not so much anymore. and not sure of the triggers. but as a kid it would manifest with lots of jumping and frenetic excitement and wanting to give lots of hugs. it would annoy the shit out of my mom and make me sad

and now i get super dejected when someone rains on my parade like that or gets annoyed when i am excitable

 
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Old 03-19-2022, 01:02 PM   #11
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Q: Have you figured out what u want to be when you grow up?

 
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Old 03-19-2022, 05:41 PM   #12
teh b0lly!!1
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Originally Posted by ilikeplanets View Post
Can I still ask something?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ilikeplanets View Post
Does that count as my question?
story of my life, tbh

 
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Old 03-19-2022, 07:05 PM   #13
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and now i get super dejected when someone rains on my parade like that or gets annoyed when i am excitable
yeah same i lost all motivation for photography for about a year

 
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Old 03-19-2022, 10:52 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor View Post
oh yeah man i get like this or at least i used to...not so much anymore. and not sure of the triggers. but as a kid it would manifest with lots of jumping and frenetic excitement and wanting to give lots of hugs. it would annoy the shit out of my mom and make me sad

and now i get super dejected when someone rains on my parade like that or gets annoyed when i am excitable
Woah so you got it into remission? Did u use medication, therapy? Are u type 1 or 2

If u don’t mind me asking you anything

 
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Old 03-19-2022, 10:56 PM   #15
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Q: Have you figured out what u want to be when you grow up?
Fucken hate that question, i am grown, ive been a lot of grown things in fact, had a few lives

Sorry it’s not your fault that i am old and sad but fuck that question, next

 
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Old 03-20-2022, 06:54 AM   #16
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how do you feel about pandas?

 
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Old 03-20-2022, 01:43 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by Run To Me View Post
Fucken hate that question, i am grown, ive been a lot of grown things in fact, had a few lives

Sorry it’s not your fault that i am old and sad but fuck that question, next
dang, dude. you need to grow up!

 
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Old 03-20-2022, 01:53 PM   #18
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would you rather stay bipolar with the ups and downs or just be unipolar and depressed all the time

I'm unipolar, the only glimpses of hypomania I've had were with sleep deprivation/drugs/new medications, and it seems like it would be nice to have unreasonable highs sometimes, but I wonder if the whiplash makes it even shittier.

 
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Old 03-20-2022, 01:53 PM   #19
yo soy el mejor
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Originally Posted by Run To Me View Post
Woah so you got it into remission? Did u use medication, therapy? Are u type 1 or 2

If u don’t mind me asking you anything
i am super hesitant to label myself because i am afraid of using it as an excuse but i identify more with two cause of the constant underlying sadness. it's no big deal until it creeps up. i'm very used to it but apparently i can never will it away ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it's just a companion that won't beat it and i can choose to give it attention or not or indulge it or whatever

mostly i've relied on therapy. no medication ever stuck. i'm not good at taking my vitamins either. i did cbt when i took improv for anxiety lol and individual therapy for 10 solid years that basically sort of unceremoniously ended a couple months ago

 
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Old 03-20-2022, 02:04 PM   #20
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how do you feel about cool as ice cream?

 
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Old 03-20-2022, 05:54 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Run To Me View Post
The hypersociability is missed. I don’t talk to people or if i do i mumble bullshit to get it to end, when im down. Which for me it’s up/down. There is very little normal when the cycling starts, takes a few days to get to some stable run of days, and then any little thing fucks it up again

But anyway yeah miss being able to chat, ppl fucken like that if u never checked, they really do especially if u ask em something about theirselves

Also miss being able to see and hear things outside this little like dog cone or the cone thing they put on dogs so they don’t bite the stitches out their scroat. Like oh there’s a bird up there and it’s this type, and that’s a fine bit of graffiti and oh don’t trip and watch the cars at this intersection will the fuckers stop wee hoo look at that dick in the hat that’s quite a hat huh isn’t it

Well it can get irritating but it’s better than not hearing or seeing anything until u fall into it or it falls in your little dog cone there
it's fucking bullshit how some people are just normally chatty. if i'm chatty it means i'm on something i shouldn't be and/or having some sort of episode

 
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Old 03-21-2022, 08:01 PM   #22
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Enjoy your dysthymia

Cyclothymic? I liken the hypomania to sonic invincibility of the mario star. Everything is fast and i'm a smarter me.

I once booked a holiday to Rome by myself in two days on a hypomanic episode and cycled back the day before I flew. That was fun.

I'm better at managing it these days.

 
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Old 03-21-2022, 08:03 PM   #23
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Q: Do you always know you're about to go off on one?

 
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Old 04-18-2022, 10:40 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BumbleBeeMouth View Post
Q: Do you always know you're about to go off on one?
Sorry to hear that, damn i know that exact feeling of planning something while hypomanic (often spending dangerously large sums) and then that dawning oh fuck of coming down and you feel so embarassed and helpless

It’s like being possessed except i really sort of like the demonic me, until it goes “poof” and im left with the aftermath, now with vastly reduced Mario powers

To answer your Q im using a mood tracker, and it has helped me notice when an episode is starting, yeah. If i can catch it before it goes red it helps me modify my schedule and activities to the extent possible to minimize the risk of harmful shit. Still catches me off guard though, i definitely find myself saying terrible shit to someone and then 10 minutes later like, oh my fuck i am cycling and don’t want to endorse any of that horseshit i just said or did

 
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Old 04-18-2022, 04:39 PM   #25
run2pee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reprise85 View Post
would you rather stay bipolar with the ups and downs or just be unipolar and depressed all the time

I'm unipolar, the only glimpses of hypomania I've had were with sleep deprivation/drugs/new medications, and it seems like it would be nice to have unreasonable highs sometimes, but I wonder if the whiplash makes it even shittier.
Im so sorry that you suffer unipolar. what a terrible condition. its like an autoimmune disorder except instead of the body it's the brain attacking itself. i hope you/ve got a tx regimen that's working for u these days

tbh i would prefer to be hypomanic all the time, if i could minimize the pitfalls like impulsivity, spending, self-righteousness, racing thoughts, sleeplessness...actually shit

shit

yeah, the thing is i hate being depressed so so bad. i feel like ive been robbed of myself, and it's lasted so so long, about 13 years i went completely untreated for it, just limping along with st johns and exercise and some sativa vs indica which eventually matured into a nasty frieken cannabis use disorder when i began to use it to numb all feelings, and to need need need it to feel like my brain could make it thru those first few excruciating seconds of becoming awake in the morning

anyway at the beginning of the hypomania seems i get a little glimpse of my actual self, not squashed/obliterated/corrupted by depression. i just wish that i could have that lil bit of energy, fearlessness, gregarious, boundless (albeit sometimes unwarranted) enthusiasm, etc. of hypomania. maybe i will get that on the right combo of meds, im seeing a new psychiatrist tomorrow and will talk about the depressions, which are still completely debilitating for several days at a time even on 200mg lamictal

 
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Old 04-22-2022, 02:25 AM   #26
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Well now im gonna try 300mg lamictal. Psych said no way no more antidepressants for me. Also thought i might be type 1 since i experienced psychosis while manic on antidepressant. But i never experienced true mania unless on antidepressant. Just hypomania. So not sure i agree with that lil thought of his but hey it was his first time seeing this specimen of a monkey of me

 
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Old 04-22-2022, 02:26 AM   #27
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it's fucking bullshit how some people are just normally chatty. if i'm chatty it means i'm on something i shouldn't be and/or having some sort of episode
Lol me too me too

 
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Old 06-12-2022, 07:47 PM   #28
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That last bit is so true, and thankfully i have similar failsafes in place. My partner can often spot it early and then i know what's coming and defer ANY DECISION until i know i'm thinking straight.
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Old 06-12-2022, 08:29 PM   #29
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it is also bullshit how society has decided chatty == good and anyone who isn't should feel like an outsider

the werld

is

a vampire

 
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Old 06-13-2022, 01:41 PM   #30
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only chatty people have decided that. it;s p well-known (in society) there is merit in not being a chatterbox, too.

 
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