Rate the last movie you watched

[smashingjj]

"we" get it?

[smashingjj]

I don't get anything!

[Joey Goldberg]

Men - on the nose but better than X

also I think literally the only film in the theater that was not some form of sequel, spin-off, reboot or remake

hootie HOO

[TuralyonW3]

Pretty pumped to see crimes of the future tomorrow

[Joey Goldberg]

is that even a movie?

[run2pee]

wall-e

this was so good it made mecry

[TuralyonW3]

Crimes of the Future was aggressively weird. I loved it, others will hate it, thus is cronenberg

[run2pee]

The new Jurassic Park - 10/10 entertainment. Apparently the critics were expecting this movie to challenge my brainparts or make me weep about the unique power of cinema to make me weep over the raw unstoppable beauty of the unstoppably raw human soul

This series is about dinosaurs and awe. And this movie had a butt ton of dinosaurs and was awesome. It was very satisfying seeing the original trio. The plot was not as dumb or scattershot as these reviews are saying: it upped the stakes to consider genetic engineering causing the extinction of human beings. And also what happens if your adopted clone kid is kidnapped to be sold as intellectual property. And also what it might be like to see and/or be hunted by fucking dinosaurs.

FUCKING DINOSAURS, OKAY???? HAVE THESE DICKS EVER BEEN KIDS WHO LIKED DINOSAURS???? THIS IS NOT MOONLIGHT, OKAY, THIS IS JURASSIC PRK AND IS IT GOOD AS THE ORIGINAL FUCK NO BUT IS IT GOOD OR DO I THINK ITS GOOD YES I DO SO FUCK OFF AND STOP MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT GETTING A POPCORN-TOPPLING BONER RIGHT THERE IN THE THEATER WHEN ELLIE KISSED GRANT AND AGAIN WHEN THE ONE BIG DINOSAUR WRESTLED THE OTHER BIG DINOSAUR, FUCK!

[killtrocity]

I frequently wonder how there are 5 or whatever of these movies, so thanks for answering that.

Yesterday, I saw something called a "Pyrosaur", apparently a FIRE-BREATHING DINOSAUR, printed on the side of a Mountain Dew can. So like. Why aren't real dinosaurs good enough? Why do the Jurassic Park people have to fucking make shit up now? Pyrosaur? That's just a dragon, ok? Your signifier has devolved into some kind of bastard-saur that never existed, in order turn it up to 11 for the Mountain Dew drinkers of the world. Shameful. I'm glad you enjoyed your dino-film, but at what cost? Are we not yet entombed by the deluge of simulacrum?

[run2pee]

Originally Posted by killtrocity

I frequently wonder how there are 5 or whatever of these movies, so thanks for answering that.

Yesterday, I saw something called a "Pyrosaur", apparently a FIRE-BREATHING DINOSAUR, printed on the side of a Mountain Dew can. So like. Why aren't real dinosaurs good enough? Why do the Jurassic Park people have to fucking make shit up now? Pyrosaur? That's just a dragon, ok? Your signifier has devolved into some kind of bastard-saur that never existed, in order turn it up to 11 for the Mountain Dew drinkers of the world. Shameful. I'm glad you enjoyed your dino-film, but at what cost? Are we not yet entombed by the deluge of simulacrum?

Pyroraptor is an extinct genus of paravian dinosaur, probably a dromaeosaurid or unenlagiid, from the Late Cretaceous Ibero-Armorican island, of what is now southern France and northern Spain. It lived during the late Campanian and early Maastrichtian stages, approximately 70.6 million years ago.

None of the 20+ species in the newest one are “made up.” (Which i agree was something that sucked about the last two). And none of them breath fire

[run2pee]

Oh and they put feathers on many of the ones that are supposed to be assumed to have had, according to actual scientists, feathers

[run2pee]

Please it is so, so important, especially in these uncertain times, that each of the five or six of you go and see this movie that will nevertheless make over $300 billion dollars for people who don’t need any more billions of dollars

[teh b0lly!!1]

Steven Spielberg sucks veiny donkey cocks and I hate that his name has become synonymous with genius and timeless cinema

[smashingjj]

am I correct in my assumption that you're hinting towards a more negative opinion in mr Spielbergs case?

[teh b0lly!!1]

my nuanced belief is that he sucks veiny donkey dick

[topleybird]

Originally Posted by teh b0lly!!1

Steven Spielberg sucks veiny donkey cocks and I hate that his name has become synonymous with genius and timeless cinema

I will never recover from him making Ready Player One (never watched it and never will, to be clear), but the man is and has always been at the top of his craft, and I am baffled by this recent "actually Spielberg has always sucked" contrarian balderdash I've seen online. It's like saying The Beatles or Shakespeare sucked.

BABY IRON MAN: NO WAY HOME: I always felt bad for Andrew Garfield, who I believed when he said playing Spidey was his childhood dream, for getting two middling-to-bad movies, so I was happy he was gonna have another chance at it. And then I saw this and he has 30 seconds to say "Yeah I went dark and started killing criminals" and then the rest of his time is 100% empty banter. They bother to explain, several times, why all these characters are getting pulled into the MCU and then they directly contradict it at least twice. And why are all the villains pulled in at the moment of their death, no matter how long ago it was? Are they going to die instantly when they return? Where's Maguire's Aunt May? Guessing no one asked her but I think I read that no one reached out to Kirstin Dunst, either? And were these three movies an origin story for the actual down-on-his-luck, street-level Peter? Are you seriously fucking kidding me right now? C-

[teh b0lly!!1]

I don't actually have a big case against Spielberg. I just find his cinematic style trite and schmaltzy. Comparing him to early "I love U and always be true" Beatles is actually totally fair in my book.

[killtrocity]

Haven't you had enough grimdark yet? It's been a race to the edgy bottom for what feels like two decades now. Maybe I'm just getting old.

[teh b0lly!!1]

Do the Right Thing (1989) was great and incredibly depressingly relevant today even more so than it was then.

King of New York (1990) a total banger with a cool ensemble cast

[teh b0lly!!1]

Originally Posted by killtrocity

Haven't you had enough grimdark yet? It's been a race to the edgy bottom for what feels like two decades now. Maybe I'm just getting old.

If my answers frighten you, you should stop asking scary questions

[killtrocity]

Originally Posted by run2pee

None of the 20+ species in the newest one are “made up.” (Which i agree was something that sucked about the last two). And none of them breath fire

I apologize for my tirade. It would seem that the Mountain Dew people took some liberties with their marketing, which I hadn't considered due to the general truthfulness of advertisements.

Actually it looks like I just didn't study the can enough. I thought the orange part was fire. Fuck me:


I just pictured this in my head:


Which I think is fair based on the semiotics.

Anyway keep on dinosaur-ing and informing

[topleybird]

You don't recognize Blue from the classic Jurassic World trilogy, starring Chris Pratt as "guy who holds his hand up at Blue a lot"???

[killtrocity]

To be honest, I thought Blue was a flavor. You can write relegate me to the untroo fan pile now :*-(

[run2pee]

Originally Posted by topleybird

You don't recognize Blue from the classic Jurassic World trilogy, starring Chris Pratt as "guy who holds his hand up at Blue a lot"???

hehe, that hand shit



there was soooooooo much hand shit in the new one, felt like must have been sort of a wink/nod lil joke there for the directors or whoever

either that or i dont know i guess if an aggressive dinosaur of any kind was coming toward me and it worked once on one particular raptor it would be worth a shot to at least try it before getting my guts pulled out, neck snapped, etc.

mild spoiler: there's even a part where pratt is showing how you can stop a raptor and alan grant slowly/quizzically does the same hand thing and it's a funny moment so i think this confirms my nod/wink hypotheosis

[slunken]

kansas city trucking company

[slunken]

being scared of spoilers is so fucking stupid

[slunken]

movies aren't stories.

they're cinematography and editing.

if you want an internal story - read a book

to recap: being afraid of spoilers is children behavior

[slunken]

like you can't enjoy a piece of "art" because you know what it already looks like? get a grip.

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by slunken

movies aren't stories.

they're cinematography and editing.

if you want an internal story - read a book

to recap: being afraid of spoilers is children behavior

"Books aren't stories. They are prose and editing."

Buddy, stories can exist in more than one medium. Just what do you think The Iliad was before anybody wrote that shit down?

Not to mention, you are no more guaranteed to get a story if you read a book than if you watch a movie. Many books don't have stories, like JavaScript coding textbooks or colouring books. Books are bound pages that may or may not be used to tell stories, just like movies are changing sequential images that may or may not be used to tell stories.

Originally Posted by slunken

like you can't enjoy a piece of "art" because you know what it already looks like? get a grip.

It's obvious that people don't dislike spoilers because spoilers prevent them from enjoying the story at all, but because it robs them of the specific joy of the genuine tension of not knowing what's going to happen, the joy of being surprised, and the joy of watching something unfold before their eyes in real time with no foresight, which is more immersive because it's closer to the experience of life. You usually only get to experience that once with each story. People dislike spoilers because they pluck the sprinkles from their ice cream (even if that leaves it perfectly good ice cream), not because spoilers take a shit in their ice cream.

[slunken]

Originally Posted by Disco King

"Books aren't stories. They are prose and editing."

Buddy, stories can exist in more than one medium. Just what do you think The Iliad was before anybody wrote that shit down?

Not to mention, you are no more guaranteed to get a story if you read a book than if you watch a movie. Many books don't have stories, like JavaScript coding textbooks or colouring books. Books are bound pages that may or may not be used to tell stories, just like movies are changing sequential images that may or may not be used to tell stories.



It's obvious that people don't dislike spoilers because spoilers prevent them from enjoying the story at all, but because it robs them of the specific joy of the genuine tension of not knowing what's going to happen, the joy of being surprised, and the joy of watching something unfold before their eyes in real time with no foresight, which is more immersive because it's closer to the experience of life. You usually only get to experience that once with each story. People dislike spoilers because they pluck the sprinkles from their ice cream (even if that leaves it perfectly good ice cream), not because spoilers take a shit in their ice cream.

don't "buddy" me and pretend that making believe in your head by reading a book is not superior than watching a movie.

just dont.