just released from a mental hospital and went directly to smashing pumpkins show AMA

[ovary]

Originally Posted by TheAlter

When it comes to psychological well-being the most important thing is to realize the answer is inside of you and that answer is wrong.

Stop asking yourself questions, basically.

what does this mean

[redbreegull]

another night somehow gives way to day, my eyes stare out the window into the pitiless sun. this is not a land for the living

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

I've heard horror stories about NA and AA and I was pretty resistant, but at least in this group, the people who run it seem to not be very into the ideology and more into facilitating a space. I have no idea what it would be like elsewhere, only a few people usually show up here

I agree with the language being incredibly derogatory, and ultimately I just don't believe that someone is always an addict just because they had a substance dependence once. And I don't believe all drugs are the same either (except for cigs, those are fine with NA lmfao). I'm more there to see faces and meet people. Everyone has been nice so far. I don't know if I'll stay with it long term or not.

I want to drink so badly right now, I'm like crawling out of my skin. Abilify withdrawal is fucking HORRIBLE. I've been back on it for several days and I'm still going nuts

Funny enough, trying Abilify gave me terrible akathisia for three days and if I hadn't been in the hospital already I might have jumped out a window. It's not painful but it's still excruciating and I absolutely would kill myself if it was permanent, zero question. If it feels like that, I am sorry. It fucking sucks. Honestly I might kill myself if I just had to experience it for an hour a day every day.

[reprise85]

oh and I had a bonus feeling of doom the entire time which was also fucking awful

[reprise85]

it's like full body restless leg syndrome except moving doesn't help and you also feel as if you will definitely die in the next few minutes but without any rational reason for thinking so or even a way you think it might happen. it's not emotional at all it's physical it just manifests that way because I'm assuming your brain is trying to make sense of the physical sensation or whatever. it's absolute torture.

[ilikeplanets]

So is there a positive to this medication, because I'm not seeing it. Is it helping you?

[Elijah Moon]

I had awful akathisia (although I didn't have the word for it or even know it was a thing till much later) for months when I was in hosptial and the consultant would just downplay it like he did all my issues. All day I would pace and pace along the corridor or around the main day room. If I tried sitting down my leg would be constantly bobbing up and down. I couldn't even stop at night while trying to get some sleep. I had a general feeling of just total despair and 'brokenness' on top of the restlessness.

I remember the doctor asking me why my leg was constantly moving up and down while he was talking to me in his little office, and I said something like, 'Because I'm in distress.' He just asked, 'And who are you trying to signal this distress to?' like it was a conscious choice to never be still. Anyway, that consultant eventually was moved to another ward and the new consultant took my pain a lot more seriously, and finally I was put on medication that actually helped me. It was nice to just get some rest. But yeah, fun times. That's many years in the past now, fortunately.

[reprise85]

yeah the only reason mine got really bad was i was seeing a substitute doctor who said it couldn't be the abilify, it must be the new asthma medicine they put me on. lol. new doc came back and was like yeah that's abilify, not for you dear

[reprise85]

Originally Posted by ilikeplanets

So is there a positive to this medication, because I'm not seeing it. Is it helping you?

It does help some people and doesn't have the heavy sedating effects of most antipsychotics in the same class. It also doesn't make people gain as much weight, generally. If you go on olanzapine or one of those, you're gonna gain 20-40lbs pretty easy.

That said, I would never even consider trying it again. It's the worst a medication has ever made me feel, by far.

[reprise85]

speaking of meds I'm down to 30mg of cymbalta and may get off it if this doesn't make my mood take a shit

[Elijah Moon]

I tried stopping my sertraline a couple of years back, having been on it for five or six years. I cut down gradually on the advice of a doctor but still ended up with horrible 'discontinuation syndrome' for a couple of weeks; lots of dizziness, anxiety, feeling I was going to pass out, and then a panic attack. I ended up just going back on it rather than trying to ride it out, as there was other stuff going on at the time as well. I kind of feel stuck on the stuff now, but oh well.

Hopefully you can stop your cymbalta with much better results.

[redbreegull]

Abilify made me sick to my stomach the first few times I took it, but otherwise I didn't have problems going on.

They gave it to me I thought because of the danger of psychosis during detox, but after my brief withdrawal, I'm wondering what exactly I did or said that prompted them to give it to me

[redbreegull]

maybe I was actually the guy lying on the floor covering myself with toothpaste and demanding to speak to joe biden

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by topleybird

In the same way that people on tv can wave a badge for a few seconds and trick people into thinking they're really cops, I figure you could do the same with a marriage license template you found on the internet. Like what potential spouse is gonna calmly call city hall to verify you're already legally wedded to the other person on the altar?

I was thinking something with a badger

[redbreegull]

every night after 9 PM I start to lose my mind, go crazy with agitation, have psychotic thoughts, and plot cruel revenge on my enemies. then I wonder if I should go to the hospital except I don't want to go to the hospital I actually just want to harm myself or drink until I perish

let me sing you a song

[redbreegull]

especially for TheAlter

[vixnix]

Good song

[redbreegull]

buzzard is coming with the bongos

[vixnix]

This I would pay to see. Best two piece since the white stripes

[topleybird]

I hope you get heat in your bathroom soon, RBG

[ilikeplanets]

Good voice!!

[ovary]

do the cheese tax next

[redbreegull]

thanks dudes.

[redbreegull]

practicing and sharing things one is good at, otherwise known as skill mastery, is supposed to be one of the most reliable ways to build self-esteem and combat negative self-talk.

I've been trying it for 19 years with guitar and it hasn't worked yet

[redbreegull]

lmfao like maybe I should try the drums

[buzzard]

Originally Posted by vixnix

This I would pay to see. Best two piece since the white stripes

I would perfectly replicate the level of drumming skills, too.

[redbreegull]

Buzzard and I only have one white stripe between us.

[ilikeplanets]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

practicing and sharing things one is good at, otherwise known as skill mastery, is supposed to be one of the most reliable ways to build self-esteem and combat negative self-talk.

I've been trying it for 19 years with guitar and it hasn't worked yet

I haven't had luck with this either, I always enter Imposter Syndrome-esque headspaces.

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by ilikeplanets

I haven't had luck with this either, I always enter Imposter Syndrome-esque headspaces.

I just feel like unless it’s a skill that makes $$$ no one gives a fuck that you are an amateur horticulturalist or whatever

[redbreegull]

I was in a band for 6 years and we were actually playing out semi-regularly, it was pretty cool and good for my self of sense, but I got kicked out last summer and the main guy was pretty shitty about it. I think the real reason I got pushed out was that I wouldn't relocate to Baltimore but the reasons given to me were kind of shocking and insulting