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Old 07-19-2022, 04:04 PM   #61
teh b0lly!!1
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ok now I gotta do it

when yougottadoit you gottadoit


 
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Old 07-20-2022, 05:32 PM   #62
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Old 07-23-2022, 05:47 AM   #63
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Originally Posted by slunken View Post
i mean there's certainly some self-responsibility that must be going on

at it's heart you're exactly right, but we're not peacocks (are we?) whose sole purpose is to project a life (whatever life that may be) to court a mate are we?

like a part of me feels like you're saying that unless i'm trying to be loved then there's no reason why i should reside in total abasement. that's to say that man is immoral when left alone.

i don't think man is inherently immoral.

just thinking out loud
Well I’m just blathering based on my own very limited observations…and I don’t think there are any universals. When I said “for a lot of us” that could be 30% of people or 24% of people, I’d still think of that as “a lot” of people, just because it’s so hard to put humans into groups, generally speaking and especially difficult when it comes to motivations and behaviour…

I guess I was just speaking from my own experience and from what I’ve observed around me - a lot of the people I see (and me as well) seem to be motivated at our most basic level by the need to be accepted and loved by others - and often a pretty small, select group of others (and in the worst of all cases, a need to be loved by just one person. That’s the worst motivation out there because it’s so often unrequited)

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These are lovely answers.

It's wild that your kids are now 17 year olds starting to become puzzled by life's mysteries. I still remember posts about them from when they were maybe 10 yo or possibly younger.

These posts got me thinking a lot about how despite socialization keeps on trying to shove down our throat that humanity in fact IS one-size-fits-all, every single soul on the planet really is an entire world unto themselves. It's too mind boggling to think about, that every person has their own completely unique life. We all need to make so many decisions, explore so many things, figure out our identity through so many little things. It's all tremendous and seeing your son take on that road, I imagine that must be quite heavy.

I'm not having kids, but I love my nephews to death, and the oldest one is like 12 and he's only juuuust starting to get "it" ever so slightly, and you just wish you could spare them all the lifelong struggles that they cannot not have. But if we're being honest, a person without struggles is usually not anybody worth knowing anyway.
So true about uniqueness…definitely there is no one size fits all. I make the claim that “a lot” of people are motivated by the need for love and acceptance because I see it around me. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it breaks a person (when they can’t find anyone to love them, that they want to be loved by)

And my suspicion is that even people who seem to be all about other things - over achievement in business or academia or whatever other professional career…are also deep down just trying to make themselves attractive and in search of love.

It’s that Richard Dawkins type idea that we’re just genetic information that is looking to combine with other genetic information and continue on in the world. We’re driven like all animals to eat, mate and reproduce - we’ve just evolved to be animals with a complex social structure, so the mating and reproducing part has a few more details to it than it does for say, goldfish.

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I'm not trying to hyper focus on this, or to be cynical because a lot of your sentiments are lovely, but I think teenage hormones/brain circuitry have a lot to do with this, too.
Definitely - though I think arrested development and unresolved childhood trauma cause the repetition of this behaviour well into adulthood - i know a lot of adults in their 30s and 40s who are still looking for “the one” and who go through the infatuation stage with each new prospect, that is more associated with high schoolers

I’m quite wary of love as a motivation. I know as a parent the love I have for my children causes me to hyper focus on them and think only of their wellbeing - as opposed to considering the wellbeing of my community and of community members who need help. I’m hopelessly self-sacrificial and one-eyed when it comes to my kids. If it kept them warm, I would steal the fur coat off a defenseless old person so one of my kids could wear it. It’s sort of an awful thing, to love someone

I’m reading Love in the Time of Cholera at the moment. I don’t know why I haven’t read it before. But it’s a much better description of how much like an illness, love can be. And what a burden it can become

Not warm and fluffy

Savage, relentless, discriminating, other-ing, ruthless love

A very basic thing

 
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Old 07-23-2022, 08:31 AM   #64
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you see it all around you? you mean on television? because i thought you only hang out with your kids and companion. enjoy that book, btw. it's a good one. i remember reading it on summer vacation in high school because i was only staying at my father's house.

 
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Old 07-23-2022, 09:09 AM   #65
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100 years of Solitude is my favourite book of all time. Don’t know why I never read this one. I think I conflated it with an Isabella Allende book I started and found a bit hard going, and then avoided it mistakenly

I’m not here much anymore so don’t know where you would gather enough information about me to know anything about my life but no, not from television

 
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Old 07-23-2022, 11:39 AM   #66
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Originally Posted by vixnix View Post
And my suspicion is that even people who seem to be all about other things - over achievement in business or academia or whatever other professional career…are also deep down just trying to make themselves attractive and in search of love.
I imagine you're generally right, but I'd qualify it a little that they're not necessarily looking for the romantic/mating kind of love. All the workaholics I've known seem to be driven more by sense that their parents only loved them when they did well in school or sports or something, so it's more like they're just programmed to feel like hard work & advancement = being a person worthy of love. So they're either looking (unconsciously, I think) to feel like they aren't worthless, or they're still chasing that feeling of wanting love from their parents, who may be long-dead or just not actually interested.

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I know as a parent the love I have for my children causes me to hyper focus on them and think only of their wellbeing - as opposed to considering the wellbeing of my community and of community members who need help.
In a car wreck, do u think u could lift a car off your kid and drop it on the other driver who's halfway through their windshield and bleeding out and it wasn't actually their fault

 
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Old 07-26-2022, 12:40 AM   #67
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There are definitely no universals and the desire to please parents or live up to expectations is a massive motivation I agree…

I think overachievers or highly successful people tend to be drawn toward each other and that creates competition with peers as well - even with less successful people a lot of motivation comes from keeping up with the joneses.

I guess my working hypothesis is underlying all these social motivations is a biological system supporting survival of the fittest, similar to all our other animal brethren

So, the approval of parents, the desire to attract a fit and attractive mate, the compulsion we feel to keep up with our peers, would have some kind of analogues in say, chimpanzee social hierarchy…and in the same way we would identify the purpose of that hierarchy as facilitating the survival of the fittest, our own social structures (and the meaning and purpose we project on to them) essentially do the same.

 
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Old 07-26-2022, 12:45 AM   #68
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The car scenario sounds difficult. In the sense the car is heavy and I’m approaching my mid 40s and am no longer super strong. In terms of dropping on the other driver to let my kid live, that would not be difficult at all

So bad. I know it’s bad, to so strongly prefer my kids just because they’re mine. But I do. I’ve been a slave to my biology since I first became pregnant.

 
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Old 07-26-2022, 10:34 PM   #69
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Bring on the heat death of the universe. Why would you want everything to be enshrined in all of eternity forever

The answer is inward. Objective reality could not give less of a shit about meaning

 
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Old 07-27-2022, 09:55 AM   #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vixnix View Post
So, the approval of parents, the desire to attract a fit and attractive mate, the compulsion we feel to keep up with our peers, would have some kind of analogues in say, chimpanzee social hierarchy…
The thought of a chimp worrying about living up to its parents' expectations is extraordinarily depressing to me. I've decided I will never learn about chimp behavior to avoid the possibility of finding out this is a real thing

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The car scenario sounds difficult.
Don't parents gain some sort of emergency super-strength when their child is threatened and they're able to lift cars or like rip off an attacker's arm? What the fuck is the point if not

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Bring on the heat death of the universe. Why would you want everything to be enshrined in all of eternity forever
This is why people seeking immortality have clearly not thought things through. Oh cool, I've been alive for billions of years and all the stars have burned out and the universe is unrecognizable and devoid of literally all other life but here I am on a barren rock, yeah this is so fucking cool. Can't wait until all other matter has diffused into component parts and swallowed by black holes and then the black holes burn out and I'm the last object in the universe. Use your fucking head

 
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Old 07-29-2022, 12:23 PM   #71
slunken
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Use your fucking head

 
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Old 07-31-2022, 06:20 PM   #72
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*Expansion of universe overpowers atomic bonds and rips every particle apart*
*No free energy is left for anything to happen at all*


Me: "Finally some peace and quiet."

 
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Old 07-31-2022, 06:27 PM   #73
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So, like, if I have total immortality that allows me to survive even heat death, that means I don't need to eat, right? Which means that all my bodily processes, like the synapses firing in my brain, aren't being fuelled by anything in the environment, because there's no free energy in the environment for me to use. So, me being immortal means that I just generate the energy I use from nothing and am essentially a perpetual motion machine that breaks the second law of thermodynamics. Which means that I am probably giving off some energy to the environment, which means that so long as I exist (and I will exist for eternity, as I am immortal), there is energy being used to do work on the environment. Which means that so long as I exist, heat death cannot happen and I am effectively preventing the end of the universe.

I'm pretty much the guy who's still shopping when the store is supposed to be closing, preventing all the staff from being able to just go home.

 
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Old 08-01-2022, 12:45 AM   #74
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If nothing lasts, should I still follow the serving suggestion and garnish these instant noodles with butter and corn?

 
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Old 08-01-2022, 10:54 AM   #75
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Old 08-02-2022, 07:01 PM   #76
slunken
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If nothing lasts, should I still follow the serving suggestion and garnish these instant noodles with butter and corn?
i know this is not a fresh take but it's so annoying to get a package of something (usually a baked treat or a candy) and it will say "2 servings" as if you're not going to eat the entire thing or do let alone do the fucking math

NOT TODAY SATAN

 
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Old 08-03-2022, 06:17 AM   #77
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Yeah I feel this for sure. Most recently in relation to Cinnamon Bun flavoured Oreos

 
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Old 08-03-2022, 06:20 AM   #78
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Apparently a serving is three Oreos. I dunno I mean it sounds reasonable enough

But nothing goes better with Oreos than shame. So like my kids say, I just gotta “full send”

 
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Old 08-04-2022, 05:32 PM   #79
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whip your kids into 3 oreo submission

 
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Old 08-07-2022, 08:26 AM   #80
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why is this happening?


Last edited by Shallowed : 08-07-2022 at 09:33 AM.

 
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Old 08-07-2022, 12:57 PM   #81
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sounds like someone listened to 33 a few 2 many times

 
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Old 08-09-2022, 05:02 PM   #82
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Hello everyone!

When I was fifteen, I tried to commit suicide due to my pessimistic nihilism, general teenage things, and the overwhelming feeling that I was going to be alone forever, as well as my own insignificance.

Many years on from that, I realise now that the loneliness of life is not something to be inherently depressed about. I took to viewing my own life as a road/path, one that I walk alone towards the unpredictable end of this wee little journey. Other people have their own paths, and sometimes theirs intersect with yours, and for a certain period, you walk together. Then, their path diverts, and they move on, apart from you, perhaps temporarily, often forever. It was important, and helpful, for me to be thankful to have known these people for as long as I did. It has helped me to better cope with the deaths of family and friends in my life, as well as incentivise me to cherish time spent with people that I might otherwise take for granted. In the end, your path will reach its stop. In a flash you might recall what you did, who you did it with, where you did it, how much joy, how much sorrow it brought you, and then that's it. It's done. Time to rest.

The risk is to look back on your life and think of it as a waste. I am of the view that, if you are enjoying yourself, you are not wasting your time. You may not be furthering long-term goals in the moment, but you had a good time, so don't beat yourself up about it. When you are proactive and you do make it through ordeals through some degree of graft, that's even greater, you've done something - take some time to savour the fact that you've done something. I could get angry at myself "wasting every night of my early teens" spacing out to Age of Innocence or Machina II Try every night, getting no schoolwork done, crying my eyes out every time I heard Behold! The Night Mare because I had to help dirt over my gran's grave, but I was having a moment to myself that was either important or some degree of fun. Equally, when I passed my GCSEs at that age, or later got through to university, through hard work, I felt elated. As long as you're not hurting anyone, don't let anyone put you down or make you feel bad for enjoying yourself.

I don't know who this is addressed to, so I'm just gonna hope one of you is called Craig. Keep walking your path Craig.

 
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Old 08-09-2022, 06:13 PM   #83
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