meeting women at the office

[Trotskilicious]

so i have found out that my impending late night shift is filled with attractive women

i am obviously not the greatest at meeting women and lots of people meet at work

how do you do this without like being creepy or sexually harrassing and etc

[duovamp]

"Hahaha, yeah... Hey, we should hang out some time."
"(Positive response)."
"What's your number?"

Update thread after this point for further advice.

[Trotskilicious]

okay man i'm gonna do that

i'm so gonna get a girl to like me someday

[MyOneAndOnly]

don't shit where you eat

[Future Boy]

just quit if needed, worked out last time

[Trotskilicious]

p. sure i can get on unemployment if i work this one right

[Bread Regal]

-act like you don't give a shit about what anyone thinks about you but don't be overtly negative.
-if there is a situation where you need to say something negative or complain, end the statement with an upnote.
-think of a few cultural signifiers that are absolutely necessary, and use them to start conversations. talk about stories you heard on NPR, but avoid topics like genocide.


and man, most of all:
-smell nice. chew gum after your lunch break. dunno if you smoke cigarettes, but if you do cut that shit out. this is a deal breaker for all women.

[Bread Regal]

i wear old spice classic because it's inexpensive but i'm going to transition to something else because i imagine it reminds women of their dads and grandpas.

[Trotskilicious]

well i'm doomed

[Trotskilicious]

what are cultural signifires i dunno what that is

[Bread Regal]

i'm having a hard time understanding why you think that.

[Bread Regal]

by cultural signifiers i mean, you know you will not be able to stand someone who is pro life, but an avid NPR listener is a person whose presence you can tolerate on a long term basis. they will pick up on this too even though you're the one initating it.

[Trotskilicious]

you described all the things i can't do and a person that is not who i am so i'm just a hopeless loser that will never find anyone and will die of colon cancer alone

i mean i've been told i smell nice before but i think in every case it was either ironic or it was because i usually smell like farts and ball sweat, cigarettes and weed. now it's just farts, ballsweat and weed.

[Trotskilicious]

Originally Posted by Bread Regal

t an avid NPR listener is a person whose presence you can tolerate on a long term basis

if they are avid npr listeners i think i'd probably not be able to stand them after a while

if they go "hey man i actually heard something cool on NPR the other day"

i'd be like "really? there's so much bourgoisie shit on that station,"

"absolutely, it makes me sick most of the time," and then she'd run her hand thru her blue mohawk and our eyes will meet

[Bread Regal]

so there's a girl with a blue mohawk where you work.

i would respond with "they have some good stuff on there, but some of the reporting is so out of touch that it's comical. anyway what's this intersting thing you heard?"

[Gossamer]

don't act like you do on the internet.

[Bread Regal]

go to hell gossamer

[Trotskilicious]

it's like he lurks just to insult me

[Future Boy]

act exactly like you do on the internet

[SlingeroGuitaro]

Make them laugh.

[Trotskilicious]

i've always been able to do that

[Kreatorkind]

WHAAA!!! Women don't instantly suck my dick!!! WHaa BUT THEY'RE SO HOTTT!!! I WANT THEM TO SUCK MY LITTLE PEE PEE!!!!

Oh, maybe if you weren't such a fat piece of shit that expected women to "see past your shitty fuck face" and give you a chance.... then maybe you could trick them into letting you have an orgasm in their presence.

[Sonic Johnny]

I've been seeing a girl for a few weeks now who was a regular customer at my work. I'm leaving soon so I figured I should just take the shot... pulled the most cliche barista move ever and wrote my phone number on her coffee. I've never done that before and probably would never do it again but it worked out pretty fuckin good for me.

I dunno if that helps but I guess write your phone number on a stapler or something and then hand it to her?

[Raskolnikov]

Originally Posted by Bread Regal

i wear old spice classic because it's inexpensive but i'm going to transition to something else because i imagine it reminds women of their dads and grandpas.

I've got a bottle of that, which has one of my favorite lines of ad copy ever on it: "If your grandpa didn't wear this, you wouldn't exist." Pure gold.

Anyways, yeah - even though I do have that aftershave, I rarely wear it. That said, it still makes me feel classy in a vintage way as all hell every now and again.

[Kreatorkind]

Originally Posted by Sonic Johnny

I've been seeing a girl for a few weeks now who was a regular customer at my work. I'm leaving soon so I figured I should just take the shot... pulled the most cliche barista move ever and wrote my phone number on her coffee. I've never done that before and probably would never do it again but it worked out pretty fuckin good for me.

I dunno if that helps but I guess write your phone number on a stapler or something and then hand it to her?

Right on muthafukka!

[The exploding boy]

Don't do that. that's a terrible idea and i'm gonna assume Sonic Johnny is fairly good looking to have pulled that one of.

[Bread Regal]

sonic johnny looks like a malnourished lumberjack

[The exploding boy]

Oh. So what you're saying is he's probably lying?


Wait wait...lumberjack is sexy to women.

[Trotskilicious]

they just swing like that in austrailia guys

[Trotskilicious]

i should be more worried about keeping my job than trying to play outside of my peer group

that's what i decided