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03-06-2019, 10:09 AM | #1 |
Through Silver In Buds
Location: Centralia
Posts: 16,502
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There were strangers in the group
Names we didn't know, handles and pseudonyms and what passed in the twenty first century as a nom de plume. The system fan screamed its pallid scream, a feeble imitation of the shuddering storm of nonsense it was slaved to render.
Everything hissed and popped like it had been left sitting a deep fryer by some kitchen hand who had dropped their apron and walked off into the night. They didn't go home, or to a bar, or to a bridge of such an adequate height that potential energy gathered when jumping from it might be sufficient, upon dispersal, to turn off their pilot light. They just crossed the parking lot and trudged off into the corn field in company of a sallow moon, nothing crackling but a mute prayer for the corn field to extend forever so that they could avoid whatever variation lay beyond it. All the while, we were sitting in the boiling oil; thermal energy thrumming, heaving in violent plumes invisible above the surface, the heating element unflinching in the face of its chaos, unmoved by the clumsy, abject violence it had unwittingly become party to. Eventually, perhaps, someone would come and find it all and rectify it. Perhaps nobody would come, but eventually up the invisible chain somwhere, some abstract element, perhaps a minute filament forged a world away, by some enumerated individuals each one ignorant of its eventual specific purpose and by extension inculpable in its inevitable failure, would give, and the power supply would stop, and the heating element would fade from its ephemeral perfect white back to a lowly mortal silver, and the violence would dim and then slow and then stop, and we would rest. But that filament was made perfect, copied from a model meticulously engineered to run a thousand lifetimes before entropy finally popped it, first time every time. The kitchen hand was not coming back. No customers would discover and right this obscenity. There was nothing to do but wait, and endure, and try to become one, if not in form then at least in spirit, with the writhing oil. Last edited by Sonic Johnny : 03-06-2019 at 10:48 AM. |
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03-06-2019, 10:13 AM | #2 |
real estate cowboy
Location: if Monsanto and Purdue Pharma had a baby
Posts: 36,902
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is this your first trip to the balkans?
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03-06-2019, 10:23 AM | #3 | |
Minion of Satan
Location: An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom
Posts: 7,746
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Quote:
Go on |
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03-06-2019, 11:34 AM | #4 |
Minion of Satan
Posts: 6,781
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03-06-2019, 11:43 AM | #5 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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not bad but the sinsemillian chronicle is better, im(holy)o
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03-06-2019, 11:58 AM | #6 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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“Goddamned Ghouls of Gorgoroth!” he bellowed like a male musk ox in heat. “My secret self, my psychic center, has aroused itself unto the ultimate pinnacle of being!” he exulted, and as he exulted he partially rotated his head, ninety degrees to the left, ninety degrees to the right, on his enormous column of a neck: a neck that Gilgamesh in his prime might have been proud to have possessed.
“Um, sorry to interrupt but, uh, actually, well, I don’t mean to contradict or correct you but…” a diffident whisper lisped out of the darkness that enveloped the far side of the living room. In a gesture of uncharacteristic unselfishness, the Professor handed the blunt over to the darkness. “Here, hit that, it will bolster the Alluvial Quicksilver in your spinal column and grant you the courage to express yourself without that crippling hesitation,” said he. A skeletal hand materialized out of the gloom to clutch the proffered blunt. The depths of the darkness were faintly illumined by the crimson coal of living flame, and I could see the drawn, haggard, and malnourished face of Bogdan Bogdanovitch. A few hits in rapid succession and the Professor was proven right, for it appeared that Bogdan had acquired a backbone. He spoke, with a half faltering, half swaggering confidence he was wholly unaccustomed to. He said, “There are no ghouls in Gorgoroth.” Upon his lumpy throne, the Professor blinked his eyelids in aristocratic astonishment. “There are no ghouls in Gorgoroth,” repeated Bogdan. This time the Professor collected himself enough to give a contemptuous snort, but Bogdan boldly carried on, emboldened by the cocaine. “Nope, no ghouls,” he was saying, “orcs, yes, the whole plateau is crawling with them, goblins and trolls, the sun scorning Uruk-hai and the javelin wielding Olog-hai. Hell, there are even Easterlings and Haradrim to be found in Mordor but no, not one, not a single ghoul to be found in all the Land of the Shadow—from the razor peaks of the Ered Lithui to the salt wastes surrounding the Sea of Nurn, there are no ghouls.” For once the Professor had nothing to say. Instead he reached dumbly into the darkness for the blunt and cherished its consumption like an infant cherishes its mother’s breast. His face was dead, expressionless. He had been mastered in the Art of Tolkienic Lore, and that by a cowardly, broken shell of a nihilist. |
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03-06-2019, 12:18 PM | #7 |
Janis Jopleybird
Location: Let me see you do the booty hop. And now make the booty stop. Now drop, and do the booty wop.
Posts: 6,569
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Reminds me of Bored of the Rings, written by the founders of National Lampoon, which featured such memorable characters as Dildo Bugger and was a revelation to my prepubescent self |
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03-06-2019, 12:33 PM | #8 |
Socialphobic
Location: Away
Posts: 11,398
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I don't read fic unless there's boning in it.
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03-06-2019, 12:45 PM | #9 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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ok. someday when i am famous and wealthy you will all be sending me pms like "hey took, you are so awesome, remember me? let's hang" and i'll be like "do i even know you?"
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03-06-2019, 01:26 PM | #10 |
Minion of Satan
Location: An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom
Posts: 7,746
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Is anyone gonna engage with sonjon’s original posting? I’d do it but I’m dumb, plus it’s not Sunday.
Anyway i like this, a lot We need more threads posting original literary works |
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03-06-2019, 01:42 PM | #11 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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it's def pretty metal
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03-06-2019, 02:42 PM | #12 |
Minion of Satan
Posts: 6,781
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In all honesty, it could do without the needless convolution and currently sounds like Wikipedia was been consulted along the way with no real payoff stemming from much of the language used.
To at least my eyes, it comes off sounding like this (which is intended to be bad): Upon their boots they straddled a tectonic magnitude, fierce in its containment of a miasmic core so teeming as it was with that molten potential to consume from one moment to the next entire territories and all those species bound within like some biocenological stockade providing no true sense of sanctuary. |
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03-06-2019, 02:46 PM | #13 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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yes and what about my sinsemillian chronicle extract?
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03-06-2019, 02:48 PM | #14 |
Minion of Satan
Posts: 6,781
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That could do without existing altogether. I'd rather read the original post over and over again until the word counts level out.
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03-06-2019, 02:58 PM | #15 |
Minion of Satan
Posts: 6,781
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03-06-2019, 03:32 PM | #16 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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03-06-2019, 03:33 PM | #17 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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Actually, I figured it was going to be something along those lines.
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03-06-2019, 03:34 PM | #18 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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When I get rich and famous, you, yes you Buzzard, will be the first to be blocked on Netphoria!
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03-07-2019, 05:02 PM | #19 |
Demi-God
Location: Some area where the Canadian dollar is far more valuable than my own.
Posts: 286
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Could do with some Mormon sex scenes.
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03-07-2019, 05:04 PM | #20 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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ok your also getting blocked!
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03-07-2019, 05:05 PM | #21 |
Demi-God
Location: Some area where the Canadian dollar is far more valuable than my own.
Posts: 286
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I meant the original post.
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03-07-2019, 05:05 PM | #22 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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fuck it i'm leaving netphoria instead! and i was about to share with you the tale of Levidolocus (say it aloud, in an sonorous voice), mightiest of the mighty megalothons.
i hope your happy. |
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03-07-2019, 05:06 PM | #23 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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03-07-2019, 05:12 PM | #24 |
Demi-God
Location: Some area where the Canadian dollar is far more valuable than my own.
Posts: 286
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03-07-2019, 07:04 PM | #25 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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Yes, it was.
And I'm still quitting Netphoria. I've just postponed it until tomorrow. |
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03-07-2019, 07:06 PM | #26 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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sonic johnny, your writing is cool. don't let these grumble-grimalkins get you down.
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03-07-2019, 10:58 PM | #27 |
THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!
Location: || MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID ROCK!!
Posts: 47,245
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03-08-2019, 02:01 AM | #28 |
Dute of Seven Y's
Location: Mr. C's garage
Posts: 7,765
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03-08-2019, 07:02 AM | #29 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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i did that on purpose, ok?
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11-22-2021, 11:49 AM | #30 |
Janis Jopleybird
Location: Let me see you do the booty hop. And now make the booty stop. Now drop, and do the booty wop.
Posts: 6,569
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Since Sonic Johnny logged off, I like to think he's been shacked up somewhere Unabomber-like in complete isolation, just formulating more and more debased molestations of the English language to the point that these days he's producing combinations of words on his screen that actually scream aloud and blacken the foliage outside his cabin
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