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07-15-2009, 12:44 PM | #91 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Location: catland
Posts: 1,250
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07-15-2009, 12:50 PM | #92 |
let's see your penis!
Location: i had a few beers, but i'm cool to drive
Posts: 31,847
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past 2 days there's been pain and blood.
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07-15-2009, 03:45 PM | #93 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: N3t4Euh Haus
Posts: 32,753
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Last night I had some crabs and this morning I woke up with terrible stomach/intestinal cramps. During my shower I suddenly had to shit so bad I had to leap out of the tub and onto the toilet. I just made it. I could describe it as explosive diarrhea but that really does not convey the magnitude of what occurred.
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07-15-2009, 06:02 PM | #94 |
Minion of Satan
Location: I thought what I'd do is I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes
Posts: 7,676
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i've been having to force mine, lately -- it's been a while since i've had an urgent situation. if i do, i usually have to hold it cause i'm at a customer's house or on a job site w/o a toilet. probably not the best practice, but such is life.
i know to be healthy you have to go at least once a day. |
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07-15-2009, 06:09 PM | #95 |
Braindead
Posts: 18,608
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My shits have been fairly large as of lately.
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07-15-2009, 08:21 PM | #96 |
NOPE.
Location: :/
Posts: 15,108
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I usually only go once a day in the morning. If I have a big lunch maybe once in the late afternoon but that's about it. I know a guy who goes like a half an hour to an hour after he eats like clockwork. That seems a bit odd to me but at least he knows to expect it.
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07-15-2009, 11:28 PM | #97 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Location: down in an alley, having had enough of it all
Posts: 2,619
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two type 4's and a type 6
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03-18-2011, 06:30 AM | #98 |
Braindead
Posts: 18,608
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Just executed the gnarliest shit I've had for a long time.
It was #5 briefly to begin with, then accellerated into #6 territory before veering suddenly to a #7. It felt like my balls were in a vice during the #6 phase, and in the #7 phase my asshole was shooting like a fucking Super Soaker. |
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03-18-2011, 09:31 AM | #99 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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I've been having the stinkiest shits and farts lately. This happens every time I change the place I live in.
The worst was the last time I lived in Korea. I love kimchi and delved deep as soon as I got back. For the first two months or so I was farting constantly. I shit you not (no pun intended), I was farting every 15 minutes or so, and these were massive, prolonged farts that sounded like the trumpet blasts that will emanate at the second coming of the Christ LORD. It was fun to do when I was going on my evening strolls, but it was rather troublesome to keep them contained while teaching. A repressed fart is a very strange thing (feels like you're farting up your rectum). |
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03-18-2011, 10:05 AM | #100 |
NOPE.
Location: :/
Posts: 15,108
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I find that the crappier (no pun intended) the quality of food I eat, the worse / bigger the poo is. In other words: A salad and some Baked Lays? Dainty. Mozzarella sticks and french fries? By the time I am done my legs hurt and I might be sweating.
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03-18-2011, 12:53 PM | #101 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: Donald Trump of Netphoria
Posts: 37,218
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Hott.
ASL? |
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03-18-2011, 03:26 PM | #102 |
Braindead
Location: i like traffic lights, but only when they're green.
Posts: 15,724
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i'm glad this got bumped.
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03-18-2011, 03:52 PM | #103 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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fartyness happens when you change diets, it's your body getting accustomed to the new diet.
when i switched to hummus/vegetable lunches HOLY GOD DUDE. the morning after gas is UNBELIEVABLE and then I would crap like fucking crazy because all the veggies and hummus were cleaning my system out. back in college i'd eat richly until i ran out of money, then i'd eat just basically crap. when i'd get another month of money to spend i'd go right back to eating out and man i was gassy as fuck those first few days of that. |
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07-31-2011, 03:22 PM | #104 |
Braindead
Location: i like traffic lights, but only when they're green.
Posts: 15,724
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just dropped a type 5 or 6, couldn't really tell. it all happened so fast. i had to flush pretty quickly to prevent the release of a pervasive stink into the rest of the cafe
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07-31-2011, 03:49 PM | #105 | |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: N3t4Euh Haus
Posts: 32,753
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Quote:
Just now I took a shit, pretty firm and malleable, you know, the standard, except there was a lot of blood what do |
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07-31-2011, 03:49 PM | #106 |
Braindead
Location: i like traffic lights, but only when they're green.
Posts: 15,724
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please classify your recent shit by selecting a type on the bristol stool scale
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07-31-2011, 04:18 PM | #107 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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i had a turdrope in the morning first thing it made me feel lighter, then i started getting gassy and i made a huge pile of fluffy little shit dollops and boy those smell REAL BAD
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07-31-2011, 10:20 PM | #108 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Posts: 1,307
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the past two months have been a roller coaster for me. a recent change in diet without paying attention to the fiber intake took me down to type 5 town for a couple weeks. then i caught that virus, my appetite suffered and they put me on some serious antibiotics and then i was livin' on the 7th layer so to speak for about two weeks.
finally recovered and now i've been sittin pretty around 2's and 3's for the past two weeks. however, i think the pure liquid bowel movements left me with a shitty souvenir: a hemerrhoid! by the way, how satisfying is it to wipe your ass, look at the toilet paper and see no shit on it. |
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07-31-2011, 10:30 PM | #109 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Posts: 1,307
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just showed this thread to my gf and she said "all this talka bout shit makes me wanna shit."
now she's in the shitter playing Pokemon. ruby edition. |
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07-31-2011, 10:53 PM | #110 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: N3t4Euh Haus
Posts: 32,753
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07-31-2011, 11:26 PM | #111 |
Posts: 20,282
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08-01-2011, 05:20 PM | #112 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: all over the Internet
Posts: 44,548
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08-01-2011, 05:26 PM | #113 |
Braindead
Location: i like traffic lights, but only when they're green.
Posts: 15,724
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don't judge me!
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08-01-2011, 05:47 PM | #114 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: all over the Internet
Posts: 44,548
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no worries. i still think you're pretty cool.
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08-01-2011, 05:54 PM | #115 |
Braindead
Location: i like traffic lights, but only when they're green.
Posts: 15,724
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everyone poops, you know.
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08-01-2011, 07:40 PM | #116 |
Braindead
Location: i like traffic lights, but only when they're green.
Posts: 15,724
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type 6. too much raisin bran. not pleasant at all.
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08-02-2011, 02:24 AM | #117 |
Posts: 20,282
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nothing memorable just now, but i did finish the sunday crossword
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08-02-2011, 02:43 AM | #118 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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two stunning, lifechanging turdropes today. Eating vegetables means sitting on the can is a joy.
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08-06-2011, 12:31 PM | #119 |
Apocalyptic Poster
Posts: 1,307
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Just finished off a two-wiper. Fucking godly.
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08-07-2011, 11:37 AM | #120 |
Braindead
Location: i like traffic lights, but only when they're green.
Posts: 15,724
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type four, probably brought on by chugging a cup of coffee this morning. i'm glad to have that out.
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