You Know I'm Chat Thread

[ilikeplanets]

Are you sure he's not beating up other kids or cooking meth or something? That seems like a shitty daycare. My 9 month old screams, whines, and cries from 5-8 PM every night unless I'm holding her or engaged in some serious play with her. Kids cry when they can't talk instead. You would think a daycare provider knows that.

[ilikeplanets]

At her check-up yesterday I mentioned that, among a few other concerns that are an issue for both kids, and her doctor is like, "well, they're YOUR kids. So they're likely to be intelligent, high-strung, overthinkers, and intense. Those traits are ***genetic***."

Uh, thanks? She's apparently gauged my personality profile in 5 years worth of pediatrician visits. Also, I'm fucked if all 3 of us are gonna be like that. "Easy" doesn't exist at my house.

[ovary]

did you tell her genes don't exist

he's only 6 months. i guess the crying is intense and constant. ie he is very not happy. he doesn't do that at home and we also are not constantly attentive. i'd say we are probably on the less attentive scale of the parent distribution actually. shrug

[ilikeplanets]

Apparently she already thinks I'm over the top, so I'm not about to add "publicly doubts science" to her impression of me

The less attention you give kids, the more they're going to freak out when you're not there, so there's something to think about

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by ovary

did you tell her genes don't exist

he's only 6 months. i guess the crying is intense and constant. ie he is very not happy. he doesn't do that at home and we also are not constantly attentive. i'd say we are probably on the less attentive scale of the parent distribution actually. shrug

Are there any options for home-based care near you? It has its own pros and cons but sometimes you luck out and it’s a grandma who just loves young kids and babies or else a mum with young kids of her own, and they sometimes do a bit more of the stuff that helps with really upset babies like babywearing. When he grows out of it you can transition back to daycare

The other thought I had is reflux but you said he’s not crying at home - but is it worth checking that out with the Dr.? It could be a medical issue. Sometimes the right medication or a different formula makes a difference. Good luck. Hang in there, it will get better

[vixnix]

My oldest was like that, I could never sit still. He was miserable until he started crawling at 5 months. Still intense after that but much happier when he could get himself around

[yo soy el mejor]

I'm afraid of being a crummy parent like that. kids are people, too, and deserve better. they didn't ask for you!

[yo soy el mejor]

on saturday morning, i helped interview high school students who were applying for a scholarship and i found it super hard to rate people with numbers and junk. but i did tell a guy who works for the place giving out the scholarship that all of the students were a breath of fresh air and i was nothing like that in high school.

they want me to do some virtual interviews this evening. i'll probably say yes. a guy i used to work with is the executive director of this place and asked if i was interested in mentoring. my brain still feels like it is in high school....i would feel silly if anyone took my advice but maybe i could identify with someone.

[Elijah Moon]

That could be very rewarding. I've been offered new responsibilities at the place where I've been working -- I'd be working directly with a few volunteers who have learning disabilities, etc. I don't feel like I should be responsible for anyone, but I think I'd be ok if I just went with it.

[yo soy el mejor]

people who don't feel equipped for certain things are maybe the best for the job. at least that's what i gotta tell myself. i'm p good at doing stuff that makes me uncomfortable cause lots of stuff makes me uncomfortable and i can't just not do any of it

[ilikeplanets]

Once you talk to the students outside of the context of an interview, you'll definitely stop feeling like you're in high school

[ilikeplanets]

Once you talk to the students outside of the context of an interview, you'll definitely stop feeling like you're in high school

[Ram27]

i had my first white collar job interview - i got rejected 10 minutes after lol

the lady called from utah, clearly some HR rep. the job was digitizing old records for a dna test company, family tree stuff. two questions were basically 'have you done literally this exact job before'. i said i had experience working with cameras and data in broadcasting but then she was like 'have you used a camera for archival, where we hang the document then the camera is mounted on a pole?' and like technically no, but i am able to! why do you not think these skills are transferrable?

similarly she asked 'have you ever been in an archive?' [with a slightly droll tone]. like, no, but i am aware of them! i would be excited to go!

i feel the questions were designed to make me feel stupid, which i resent

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by Ram27

i had my first white collar job interview - i got rejected 10 minutes after lol

the lady called from utah, clearly some HR rep. the job was digitizing old records for a dna test company, family tree stuff. two questions were basically 'have you done literally this exact job before'. i said i had experience working with cameras and data in broadcasting but then she was like 'have you used a camera for archival, where we hang the document then the camera is mounted on a pole?' and like technically no, but i am able to! why do you not think these skills are transferrable?

similarly she asked 'have you ever been in an archive?' [with a slightly droll tone]. like, no, but i am aware of them! i would be excited to go!

i feel the questions were designed to make me feel stupid, which i resent

lazy hiring procedures, penny wise pound foolish, etc. I'm sure you could have learned the job without having done EXACTLY THAT THING in the past. Most jobs take about 2 weeks to learn.

[buzzard]

The standard interview process just about directly requires that you become a bullshit version of yourself for the duration.

It's like those adverts for fast food in which they put the burger together with needles to hold all the elements exactly in place so that it doesn't look as gross then as it's totally going to when you buy it. It's a precedent now.

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by buzzard

The standard interview process just about directly requires that you become a bullshit version of yourself for the duration.

It's like those adverts for fast food in which they put the burger together with needles to hold all the elements exactly in place so that it doesn't look as gross then as it's totally going to when you buy it. It's a precedent now.

Somebody said to me at work the other day presentation is as important as the idea and that worries me because you have to be pretty stupid for that to be true. The ability to pick bad ideas from good ones regardless of how they’re presented is a basic adult skill

It makes me think the baseline of human cleverness is a lot lower than I thought. And that smart people have their own unspoken understanding of how we just manage the dumb people - like, we can present shit ideas in an appealing and digestible way, they will accept and even be enthusiastic about them.

It’s bad news if like me, you like consensus. Because that is not everyone’s aim, in the workplace. The aim is gains, and sometimes you achieve them by presenting a solution that obviously won’t work, to people who (despite it being obvious) lack that same level of understanding

I feel a lot of discomfort

Or may this act of dishonesty in exchange for material gains is basic adulting and I’m the one who is behind. It makes me want to retreat back to being a homemaker who writes in her spare time

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor

I'm afraid of being a crummy parent like that. kids are people, too, and deserve better. they didn't ask for you!

Sorry, is this directed at me or at all the parents?

[Disco King]

If I ever become king, the job recruiters will be the first ones lined up against the wall.

There is no correlation between how job interviewers assess a candidate and how well the candidate actually performs. The people who decide if we get jobs or not are not even good at theirs. They just ask stupid questions like "what do you struggle most with?" where they know and I know and they know I know that I'm just going to give a non-answer that somehow conveys a positive trait instead of the weakness they asked me for. Why the fuck would I give you my weakness? You think Clark Kent went to the Daily Planet and told the boss "yeah, kryptonite fucks my shit up; if I call in, you know why"?

And they still give out MBTI tests as if they have validity and reliability. Even if they did, that just seems discriminatory to me. Yeah, it just turns out that the personality type everyone wants to hire is the extraverted one or whatever. Fuck shy people, they don't need jobs. I know introversion isn't the same as being shy, but it's clear that they just wanna hire the white guy who did university tennis and already won at life.

[duovamp]

Originally Posted by ovary

he's only 6 months. i guess the crying is intense and constant. ie he is very not happy.

My son cried pretty much every waking minute from day 1 through month 4. At 5 months he slowly stopped screaming himself to sleep. Hopefully your son is on track to start that leap at 6 months where he starts to develop better self-soothing.

[smashingjj]

Originally Posted by duovamp

My son cried pretty much every waking minute from day 1 through month 4. At 5 months he slowly stopped screaming himself to sleep. Hopefully your son is on track to start that leap at 6 months where he starts to develop better self-soothing.

Have you seen "We Need To Talk About Kevin?"

[bardy]

cant believe I still recognize the usernames of people who post here

[bardy]

Originally Posted by duovamp

My son cried pretty much every waking minute from day 1 through month 4. At 5 months he slowly stopped screaming himself to sleep. Hopefully your son is on track to start that leap at 6 months where he starts to develop better self-soothing.

my son cried a lot until I stopped eating dairy (while breastfeeding). He was a happy baby without dairy in his body. But then I guess the absence of continued exposure pushed him into being actually allergic to it instead of just sensitive to it. So then he got hives if he had it as an older child. We did gradual exposure therapy for it and he was no longer allergic to dairy at about 5 years old. So I traded some months of a crying baby for years of an allergy. I'd probably do the same thing over again--dealing with a baby who cries constantly is so mentally exhausting as a parent.

[ilikeplanets]

Originally Posted by bardy

cant believe I still recognize the usernames of people who post here

I can't believe I recognize your username!

[Ol' Couch Ass]

As I live and breathe...

[ovary]

we started cry it out sleep training thursday and since then he's been pretty much zero fussy at home and also good in daycare. first night was tough but now he's sleeping like a champ. hopefully it keeps up

[topleybird]

Cry it out sleep training, aka my life, am I right? Folks,

[ilikeplanets]

I never did cry it out, but I roomshare with my babies until they're at least one year old. So that would make me an utter asshole to be in the room ignoring them while they look at me crying. No, that waits until they're older and meaner.

[ovary]

he went from in the bed with mom to crib in the other room so it was a pretty abrupt transition but so far so good.

now i am sick afuckinggain with some daycareitis bullshit fuucckkk oh well

[ovary]

boutta dip into that dayquil haze and put on the west wing. carry me away to a better place president bartlett

[ilikeplanets]

Dayquil is like a panic attack in a bottle for me