Rewrite historical events like they were a wrestling feud/promo

[Dogfighter28]

Back from commercial break, we are greeted by the face of perennial heel Bil Gates. He is midway through a rant denouncing his rivals in the Apple stable

"If that punk ass Woz shows his face in this ring, the gatekeeper will show you all just how powerful the long *bleep* of the Windows Boyz really is. Those guys are a relic of the 80s. Yeah, keep churning out those pretty purple iMacs. The fact is, we've got Internet Explorer. All the lovely ladies in hardware are adopting our paradigm. Life is good. There isn't anything you can do about it."

*screeeeeeeeeech*

It's the distinctive sound of a car coming to a halt - the trademark intro preceding the theme music for fallen hero, Jobs. The crowd is stunned.

Gates looks towards the entrance ramp in horror. Jobs hasn't appeared on RAW in years.

Little does he know, Jobs is hiding out in the crowd, sporting a new look. Older, wiser, wearing a black turtleneck, no one recognizes him at first.

That is, until he slides into the ring, steel chair in hand. Gates goes down hard under the flash of the Apple-logo-embroidered weapon. The arena is exploding with excitement as Jobs hoists the chair with a smile on his face, as if to say "I'm back!"

He grabs the mic and lifts it to speak, but the crowd drowns him out. After a few minutes of sheepish grinning, and Gates bleeding unconscious on the mat, he begins.

"Imagine, if you could carry all your records with you, wherever you went."

The crowd is hushed by this inconceivable thought.

Ascending the turnbuckle, he says "I give you, iPod!" and triumphantly lifts the sleek device. The crowd goes wild as the show ends, fading to commercial.

[Cool As Ice Cream]

http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=181976