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06-28-2015, 02:51 PM | #1 |
Minion of Satan
Location: An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom
Posts: 7,742
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would you expect a weeklong houseguest to do your chores?
I have a close friend of around 10 years I've visited in New Orleans once or twice a year for up to a couple weeks at a time. Nowadays he's got a GF living in the same space but still always asks me when I'm coming next. So I agreed to come down for a week. Feeling trepidatious about invading their couple space for so long, I called beforehand to ask whether it'd be a good idea to get a room somewhere else for a few of the days. The buddy said, "No way, come on down."
When I arrived, the tour of the new space included a list of the chores I would be expected to accomplish while on vacation there: clearing their neglected 1 acre garden of weeds and debris, harvesting from the garden, mowing the lawn, putting rolling wheels on a huge bookcase (filled with books), to name a few. I was surprised at this but tried to be the best houseguest I could (I brought a gift, treated them to meals, cleared the table and washed all dishes, even swept the floors) and mowed and cleared in the garden quite a lot. I also made sure to give them all the couple time possible and only really was in the room with them when they specifically requested it. The last straw was being asked to empty the kitty litter after I'd told them I have a thing about cat poop (lived with a cat that shat all over) and then moments later my buddy says: "We're gonna need some alone time this weekend" (this after not really hanging with the buddy at all other than sitting around watching fucken netflix with him and GF). Even though it cost $$$, I decided to book an emergency hotel and moved out the next day. My GF is appalled and wonders why I'd want to continue the friendship after this. Is this beyond the pale? What do you think? |
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06-28-2015, 02:53 PM | #2 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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he sounds like a sociopath
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06-28-2015, 02:55 PM | #3 |
Braindead
Location: TX
Posts: 16,289
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Yeah that's fucked
Fuck them |
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06-28-2015, 02:55 PM | #4 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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honestly you're a bit of a sucker for doing anything for this guy
i would have started laughing when he told me about the garden. when I saw that he was serious i'm not sure what i'd do. |
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06-28-2015, 02:59 PM | #5 |
Minion of Satan
Location: An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom
Posts: 7,742
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Thanks for the feedback, yeah I have a problem probably with setting boundaries for friends. I've stayed with this guy a bunch of times without any issues like this. Probably because he has the GF there now I felt from the get-go I was "putting them out" by being there for more than a couple days, so my attitude I'm sure invited them to take advantage of me
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06-28-2015, 03:07 PM | #6 |
Braindead
Location: TX
Posts: 16,289
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Really if these people had any decency they'd be treating you to meals as a guest in their home
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06-28-2015, 03:10 PM | #7 |
THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!
Location: || MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID ROCK!!
Posts: 47,245
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That's f'd up. Bringing a gift, helping with and cleaning up after meal- that's about all that's in bounds for a considerate house guest. All the other stuff is nuts
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06-28-2015, 03:22 PM | #8 |
Braindead
Location: I was just reading, right?
Posts: 15,023
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I think this is really weird. Idk about ending the friendship completely but uhh, yeah...
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06-28-2015, 03:50 PM | #9 |
007 373 5963
Posts: 31,420
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giving you a list is weird. if he asked while you were there if you could give him a hand with the garden or the book case or whatever i would be fine with that. but a list telling you you have to do these things is bullpoop.
give him a list of the things you need done. like a blowbang from his girlfriend. |
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06-28-2015, 03:59 PM | #10 |
Minion of Satan
Location: "I'm a quivering collection of the worst and least helpful emotions: fear, anxiety, terror, paranoia, indigestion, dishpan hands..."
Posts: 7,765
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holy shit...i thought maybe you meant like you know. cleanign the dishes after a meal. maybe the bathroom once every few days. like sink and shower. shit you use...thats reasonable. but this? fuck them.
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06-28-2015, 04:01 PM | #11 |
spanish harlem mona lisa
Location: the barrio
Posts: 10,081
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yeah this was beyond inappropriate of your friend & his gf.
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06-28-2015, 04:17 PM | #12 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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any passive aggression from either of them? this could have been a tactic to try and get out of their offer and make it seem like it was your fault
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06-28-2015, 04:37 PM | #13 |
Shut the fuck up!
Location: "Okay, white power feminist" - yo soy el mejor
Posts: 23,878
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when i visit my BF in Oakland he and his wife treat me like a guest. I'll insist to help out a bit if i'm there for more than a couple of days. Stuff like doing the dishes after we share a meal. Or offering to cook them dinner.
but wtf if he asked me to do home improvements I'd leave and go to a hotel. also, my BF just wouldn't act like a douche like that. if he did i'd tell him |
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06-28-2015, 04:51 PM | #14 | |
Minion of Satan
Location: "I'm a quivering collection of the worst and least helpful emotions: fear, anxiety, terror, paranoia, indigestion, dishpan hands..."
Posts: 7,765
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Quote:
in fact it's more than a feeling, its exactly what it is. |
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06-28-2015, 04:57 PM | #15 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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especially considering how the end of it was WE NEED TIME ALONE
she mad |
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06-28-2015, 05:03 PM | #16 |
Socialphobic
Location: halifax
Posts: 14,812
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yeah, that's fucked. it would be reasonable for him to choose that week to tackle a few things around the house and hope/expect for you to pitch in and give him a hand, but to just make a list for you...
__________________
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06-28-2015, 05:04 PM | #17 |
Just Hook it to My Veins!
Location: František! How's the foot of your turtle?
Posts: 32,741
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any chance you overdid it on this, and appeared not wanting to spend time with them (or one of them)? or that they could read your behaviour like that?
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06-28-2015, 05:05 PM | #18 |
Minion of Satan
Location: "I'm a quivering collection of the worst and least helpful emotions: fear, anxiety, terror, paranoia, indigestion, dishpan hands..."
Posts: 7,765
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i would end any such friendship. Or at least bring it up and if they didn't think it was wrong or wouldn't apologize i'd be done with them. And maybe call them crazy before hanging up. Which they clearly are.
BUT..maybe they find you a shit friend and have been trying to find a way to break this friendship for years. And if you dont break it off now maybe theyll think jesus christ what the fuck is it gonna take for this fucking guy to take a hint. I mean, if nothinh else that's what it was, a hint they don't like you. |
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06-28-2015, 07:34 PM | #19 | |
Minion of Satan
Location: An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom
Posts: 7,742
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Quote:
Thanks again for all the feedback it's much appreciated |
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06-28-2015, 07:47 PM | #20 |
Shut the fuck up!
Location: "Okay, white power feminist" - yo soy el mejor
Posts: 23,878
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06-28-2015, 08:02 PM | #21 |
Braindead
Location: Ignore List
Posts: 17,229
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what?? this is strange for them to ask all this, considering they invited you. Also, you were only there for a week. Who pushes someone out saying they need "alone time" with their s/o within a week like that? very rude
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06-28-2015, 08:14 PM | #22 |
Banned
Posts: 21,169
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I dunno. I guess if you're just kicking there for a week and they're going on about their business and asked you to help that it isn't too outta line. You'd figure they'd at least give you a 6 pack and have some beers with you or something once you were done helping em for the day...
Definitely sounds a little excessive though. His girlfriend was probably just pissed that you were there. |
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06-28-2015, 08:16 PM | #23 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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people say "YEAH CRASH AT MY PLACE ANY TIME" and don't think anyone will take them up on it
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06-28-2015, 08:20 PM | #24 |
Braindead
Posts: 18,608
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This would be okay if it was your sick grandma who has a bad back or something, but they're not so fuck them
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06-28-2015, 08:27 PM | #25 | |
Minion of Satan
Location: An oasis of horror in a desert of boredom
Posts: 7,742
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Quote:
But toward the end it'd be like "hey! Welcome home how was work?" Cold stare. I'm really dumbfounded what more I coulda done to win her over. Also mindblown she didn't discern any apparent need/desire to win me over |
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06-28-2015, 08:30 PM | #26 |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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it really dosn't sound very smooth
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06-28-2015, 08:31 PM | #27 | |
Banned
Location: I believe in the transcendental qualities of friendship.
Posts: 39,439
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Quote:
also everyone involved needs to be able to be honest with each other but you all sound young |
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06-28-2015, 08:50 PM | #28 |
Banned
Posts: 21,169
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yeah, a weeks a little long to be staying in the same house with a couple... Is their home even that big?
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06-28-2015, 08:51 PM | #29 |
Braindead
Location: Ignore List
Posts: 17,229
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it doesn't have to be a big deal just because it's a couple. why not be polite for a week if you invite someone over?
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06-28-2015, 08:58 PM | #30 |
Braindead
Location: I was just reading, right?
Posts: 15,023
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why does a couple think they cant possibly share their living space? people are so uppity
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