Quote:
Originally Posted by vixnix
I get stuck when someone tells me about a problem they have and I either don't think it's a problem or else if they're complaining about another person, I don't feel that the other person has done anything wrong or worse still I think it's really the fault of the person I'm talking to. Unless they're a really, really close friend I've known for years I just can't fake an appropriate response because I hate lying but I'm also really averse to conflict with new acquaintances so I end up parroting back what they've said in an ORLY high pitched type voice, and making non-committal, cliched statements and I think I end up looking really vacant and dumb and weird. I'm trying to be better about saying what I think and not worrying.
|
I do this when someone brings up something and I feel like I'm not in a place where I can properly reply - for example, politics at work. Even if I agree with them, I don't think it's an okay thing to get into with a customer. You never know who's listening.
If it's about people, I feel like most people just want you to listen. If it's someone close I might give some kind of lose 'advice', or if they ask me straight up, otherwise I just try to ask questions that will help them elaborate and hopefully the whole interaction will help them feel better. I don't think most people expect to be able to really talk like that and usually it does seem to help. But then you get into being-their-therapist territory which I am pretty good at avoiding these days, but I have to be mindful. Some of you might have seen me attempt to be like this in PMs and such. Advice giving is overrated when it comes to feelings. imo.