View Single Post
Old 10-23-2012, 11:35 PM   #131
reprise85
BOTTLEG ILLEGAL
 
reprise85's Avatar
 
Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face
Posts: 32,800
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by vixnix View Post
I get stuck when someone tells me about a problem they have and I either don't think it's a problem or else if they're complaining about another person, I don't feel that the other person has done anything wrong or worse still I think it's really the fault of the person I'm talking to. Unless they're a really, really close friend I've known for years I just can't fake an appropriate response because I hate lying but I'm also really averse to conflict with new acquaintances so I end up parroting back what they've said in an ORLY high pitched type voice, and making non-committal, cliched statements and I think I end up looking really vacant and dumb and weird. I'm trying to be better about saying what I think and not worrying.
I do this when someone brings up something and I feel like I'm not in a place where I can properly reply - for example, politics at work. Even if I agree with them, I don't think it's an okay thing to get into with a customer. You never know who's listening.

If it's about people, I feel like most people just want you to listen. If it's someone close I might give some kind of lose 'advice', or if they ask me straight up, otherwise I just try to ask questions that will help them elaborate and hopefully the whole interaction will help them feel better. I don't think most people expect to be able to really talk like that and usually it does seem to help. But then you get into being-their-therapist territory which I am pretty good at avoiding these days, but I have to be mindful. Some of you might have seen me attempt to be like this in PMs and such. Advice giving is overrated when it comes to feelings. imo.

 
reprise85 is offline