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Old 02-13-2008, 12:56 AM   #17
sickbadthing
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Left my husband of 18 yrs gave him everything cause I felt gulity and took the kids with me then got divorce 3yrs on found out he was having an affair and now I know I lost everything and feel a fool?




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Don't beat yourself up over this. You wouldn't have left him unless you had good reason and you must have been somewhat suspicious he may be having an affair. You simply had enough as I am sure you were neglected and it was an unemotional marriage between the both of you. Children sense this so leaving him was a good idea. That was something you did do right.

I suggest you retain a lawyer and see what you can get out of him even though you left the children. Hopefully you will get support from him or certainly Child Support.

I knew my first husband was cheating, but since he had such a rotten childhood I made excuses for his behavior and stuck it out for 3 1/2 years and later when I caught him cheating I felt the fool too. Not for long! I took my marriage vows seriously, but, I don't feel man nor woman should stay in a loveless marriage of be abused mentally or physically. It is also hard on any children one might have. I didn't have children so I just up and left, got my own apartment, a new job, new friends and filed for divorce immediately. I was lonely for awhile, but that soon disappeared and I began to realize my strengths and weakness'. I learned from the experience. I didn't feel foolish any longer and neither should you.

Fight! Go to that lawyer and see what can be done. If you can prove abuse of any sort towards you or proof he was cheating you have a good case. It's highly unlikely you his defence will nail you with desertion because you can swing back and say because of the circumstances and the safety of the children you left. You need money to live and you need a place to live and obviously you will have to work and if your children are young Child Care does not come cheap.

Good luck!

 
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