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Old 05-04-2014, 06:10 PM   #127
reprise85's Avatar
Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face
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Originally Posted by The exploding boy View Post
No one gives a shit a this point but I feel a bit bad about what I said about reprise because it turns out she only responded like cool headed and rationally and even with compassion in some cases when I thought she was probably just batshit insane. That always throws me off you know. You go and be a dick to someone and they won't respond in kind? Then you're like" wow I guess i'm just a dick". Not that I didn't know already. Or maybe she's just so depressed she can't give a shit enough to get defensive.

Though I still think people shouldn't talk about their depression so much and wallow in it. Some people it's like "omg i'm so depressed. I suffer from depression you know and this defines my whole identity. Yeah i'm depressed. So don't give a shit about anything right now, thought i'd let everyone know." They're in love with their depression (didn't someone quote i'm in love with my sadness already?)
I didn't get defensive because there wasn't any reason to. I'm not very depressed anymore, and I'm pretty comfortable with how I view the illness and how it manifested/manifests with me, but I'm willing to consider that perhaps I'm too close to it to see if I'm wallowing in it or whatever. But this thread was supposed to be about depression, not really about my depression, if that makes any sense.

Thing is no one gives a fuck outside of you. You're always ever alone. Even the people who love you will only give a fuck for so long when you die. All I know is I used to wallow in my misery and write about it extensively. It only made me hate myself more. Most people except there will be some magical even that will lift them out of their depression. Someone or something or some drug. None of that will. Or only for so long. At some point you do just need to get proactive no matter how down in the dumps you are. Even when you're so down you feel like you can't even put one foot in front of another. That's still al you can do. Cause no amount of therapy in the world is gonna fix you unless you do something for yourself. And if you can't or are not willing to or if you truly believe that nothing anywhere could ever make you happier, then yeah at some point maybe you are better off dead. there are cases when people just are. I believe that. Death sometimes is the answer. It's just not very PC to say it. But I don't believe in the sanctity of life that much. Starting with my own.
I am pro-assisted suicide for those with intractable depression, just like any other terminal illness. However, I don't know where you'd define a point where it's okay to do it, and most of the world disagrees. I feel as if I was past the point where I'd consider it ok (meaning, suicide would have been justified in my past situation) - and would understand anyone who is in it as badly as I was who decided to take their own life. However, I disagree that therapy and medication isn't going to do anything unless you "do something for yourself". Going to therapy is "do[ing] something" for yourself. It took me years of therapy and different medications to become functional again. The problem is really then (for many people) that therapy takes time, is expensive, and is emotionally draining. For someone with severe symptoms (who might also have some PTSD and/or personality pathology in with their depression), it involves a lot of tolerance for pain. And some people have that in them, some people don't, and some people do but would rather suicide. And that is all understandable.

All IMO.

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