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Old 04-29-2014, 10:26 PM   #64
reprise85
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Location: I'm faced with so many changes that I just might change my face
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I mean, I feel you on the people are uninteresting thing. I think the majority are this way, but even if 1/1000 people is interesting/smart, there are a lot of people out there. Like I made friends with this one guy, we hand out maybe every other month but I just... don't like him. There's nothing wrong with him. He's just not in the same mental space I am in, and I think we both realized that at the same time. There are people I connect with, but none of them are available for a closer friendships - one lives in Amhurst most of the year (known him since I was 13, and the other has two small children (one is autistic). We met at work; we got hired a week apart about 18 months ago.

It seems like everyone has something and I just don't have anything. I see myself filling that hole with school and even my cat (who I got a year ago) and I don't think that's bad (seriously, I didn't have anything before), and I do make connections in school, but it never gets very personal and I think that is mostly on me and not on the other people. Since you're new, you probably don't know that when I was super depressed and very PTSD-ed out I couldn't work and basically didn't leave my house for about four years except for therapy and random hospitalizations. It was really this way up until I got my job in Sept 2012. So I've made good strides. I just can't trust people I think is the bottom line. It's pretty sad really.

 
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