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-   -   You Know I'm Chat Thread (http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=187148)

yo soy el mejor 03-19-2023 09:20 PM

del spread eagle

ovary 03-19-2023 09:27 PM

you forgot to put the n word in that post

redbreegull 03-19-2023 10:15 PM

del red breegull

MyOneAndOnly 03-20-2023 01:18 AM

Del the Funky Homosapien


Elijah Moon 03-20-2023 03:16 PM

I got back from Chester last night. I'd never been before, but it's a really nice little city. I liked it a lot.

duovamp 03-20-2023 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vixnix (Post 4619978)
Duo, MOAO, ilp and rbg are all white or white passing, and have college degrees. And youíre all angry at my brown cousins who experienced racism in classrooms with few brown teachers, so who dropped out early and got jobs in retail and manufacturing to support their parents on similar low incomes. I dunno it just feels a bit like punching down

Tell them to come to my ted talk.

mewl 03-21-2023 04:07 AM

I’m sort of bummed out. I made a joke e-mail address for this site like over 20 years ago and I tried to log into it but Microsoft finds me unbecoming and invalid of my namesake. But somehow Face ID knows me. So hi. Can any of you dorks hack into my email for me? I want it back. I’ll give you 10 bucks.

ovary 03-22-2023 09:58 AM

my baby is going to get his ass kicked out of daycare if he doesn't shape up. he is chill at home but cries all day at daycare unless the lady holds him. not sure what to do. we've been pretty loosey goosey with sleep scheduling so we will tighten that up, and try to work on self-soothing at home. but he's already pretty good at that at home, so i duno. and we'll switch from doing daycare MTR to MTWR... maybe going more consistently will help.

ovary 03-22-2023 09:59 AM

it's pretty stressful if he gets kicked out we are fucked

ilikeplanets 03-22-2023 10:55 AM

They're seriously going to kick him out only for crying?

ilikeplanets 03-22-2023 10:57 AM

Are you sure he's not beating up other kids or cooking meth or something? That seems like a shitty daycare. My 9 month old screams, whines, and cries from 5-8 PM every night unless I'm holding her or engaged in some serious play with her. Kids cry when they can't talk instead. You would think a daycare provider knows that.

ilikeplanets 03-22-2023 11:04 AM

At her check-up yesterday I mentioned that, among a few other concerns that are an issue for both kids, and her doctor is like, "well, they're YOUR kids. So they're likely to be intelligent, high-strung, overthinkers, and intense. Those traits are ***genetic***."

Uh, thanks? She's apparently gauged my personality profile in 5 years worth of pediatrician visits. Also, I'm fucked if all 3 of us are gonna be like that. "Easy" doesn't exist at my house.

ovary 03-22-2023 12:02 PM

did you tell her genes don't exist

he's only 6 months. i guess the crying is intense and constant. ie he is very not happy. he doesn't do that at home and we also are not constantly attentive. i'd say we are probably on the less attentive scale of the parent distribution actually. shrug

ilikeplanets 03-22-2023 12:54 PM

Apparently she already thinks I'm over the top, so I'm not about to add "publicly doubts science" to her impression of me

The less attention you give kids, the more they're going to freak out when you're not there, so there's something to think about

vixnix 03-22-2023 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ovary (Post 4620212)
did you tell her genes don't exist

he's only 6 months. i guess the crying is intense and constant. ie he is very not happy. he doesn't do that at home and we also are not constantly attentive. i'd say we are probably on the less attentive scale of the parent distribution actually. shrug

Are there any options for home-based care near you? It has its own pros and cons but sometimes you luck out and itís a grandma who just loves young kids and babies or else a mum with young kids of her own, and they sometimes do a bit more of the stuff that helps with really upset babies like babywearing. When he grows out of it you can transition back to daycare

The other thought I had is reflux but you said heís not crying at home - but is it worth checking that out with the Dr.? It could be a medical issue. Sometimes the right medication or a different formula makes a difference. Good luck. Hang in there, it will get better

vixnix 03-22-2023 04:08 PM

My oldest was like that, I could never sit still. He was miserable until he started crawling at 5 months. Still intense after that but much happier when he could get himself around

yo soy el mejor 03-27-2023 12:20 PM

I'm afraid of being a crummy parent like that. kids are people, too, and deserve better. they didn't ask for you!

yo soy el mejor 03-27-2023 01:09 PM

on saturday morning, i helped interview high school students who were applying for a scholarship and i found it super hard to rate people with numbers and junk. but i did tell a guy who works for the place giving out the scholarship that all of the students were a breath of fresh air and i was nothing like that in high school.

they want me to do some virtual interviews this evening. i'll probably say yes. a guy i used to work with is the executive director of this place and asked if i was interested in mentoring. my brain still feels like it is in high school....i would feel silly if anyone took my advice but maybe i could identify with someone.

Elijah Moon 03-27-2023 02:01 PM

That could be very rewarding. I've been offered new responsibilities at the place where I've been working -- I'd be working directly with a few volunteers who have learning disabilities, etc. I don't feel like I should be responsible for anyone, but I think I'd be ok if I just went with it.

yo soy el mejor 03-27-2023 02:18 PM

people who don't feel equipped for certain things are maybe the best for the job. at least that's what i gotta tell myself. i'm p good at doing stuff that makes me uncomfortable cause lots of stuff makes me uncomfortable and i can't just not do any of it

ilikeplanets 03-27-2023 02:33 PM

Once you talk to the students outside of the context of an interview, you'll definitely stop feeling like you're in high school

ilikeplanets 03-27-2023 02:33 PM

Once you talk to the students outside of the context of an interview, you'll definitely stop feeling like you're in high school

Ram27 03-27-2023 05:21 PM

i had my first white collar job interview - i got rejected 10 minutes after lol

the lady called from utah, clearly some HR rep. the job was digitizing old records for a dna test company, family tree stuff. two questions were basically 'have you done literally this exact job before'. i said i had experience working with cameras and data in broadcasting but then she was like 'have you used a camera for archival, where we hang the document then the camera is mounted on a pole?' and like technically no, but i am able to! why do you not think these skills are transferrable?

similarly she asked 'have you ever been in an archive?' [with a slightly droll tone]. like, no, but i am aware of them! i would be excited to go!

i feel the questions were designed to make me feel stupid, which i resent

redbreegull 03-27-2023 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ram27 (Post 4620586)
i had my first white collar job interview - i got rejected 10 minutes after lol

the lady called from utah, clearly some HR rep. the job was digitizing old records for a dna test company, family tree stuff. two questions were basically 'have you done literally this exact job before'. i said i had experience working with cameras and data in broadcasting but then she was like 'have you used a camera for archival, where we hang the document then the camera is mounted on a pole?' and like technically no, but i am able to! why do you not think these skills are transferrable?

similarly she asked 'have you ever been in an archive?' [with a slightly droll tone]. like, no, but i am aware of them! i would be excited to go!

i feel the questions were designed to make me feel stupid, which i resent

lazy hiring procedures, penny wise pound foolish, etc. I'm sure you could have learned the job without having done EXACTLY THAT THING in the past. Most jobs take about 2 weeks to learn.

buzzard 03-27-2023 10:38 PM

The standard interview process just about directly requires that you become a bullshit version of yourself for the duration.

It's like those adverts for fast food in which they put the burger together with needles to hold all the elements exactly in place so that it doesn't look as gross then as it's totally going to when you buy it. It's a precedent now.

vixnix 03-28-2023 04:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buzzard (Post 4620609)
The standard interview process just about directly requires that you become a bullshit version of yourself for the duration.

It's like those adverts for fast food in which they put the burger together with needles to hold all the elements exactly in place so that it doesn't look as gross then as it's totally going to when you buy it. It's a precedent now.

Somebody said to me at work the other day presentation is as important as the idea and that worries me because you have to be pretty stupid for that to be true. The ability to pick bad ideas from good ones regardless of how theyíre presented is a basic adult skill

It makes me think the baseline of human cleverness is a lot lower than I thought. And that smart people have their own unspoken understanding of how we just manage the dumb people - like, we can present shit ideas in an appealing and digestible way, they will accept and even be enthusiastic about them.

Itís bad news if like me, you like consensus. Because that is not everyoneís aim, in the workplace. The aim is gains, and sometimes you achieve them by presenting a solution that obviously wonít work, to people who (despite it being obvious) lack that same level of understanding

I feel a lot of discomfort

Or may this act of dishonesty in exchange for material gains is basic adulting and Iím the one who is behind. It makes me want to retreat back to being a homemaker who writes in her spare time

vixnix 03-28-2023 05:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yo soy el mejor (Post 4620563)
I'm afraid of being a crummy parent like that. kids are people, too, and deserve better. they didn't ask for you!

Sorry, is this directed at me or at all the parents?

Disco King 03-28-2023 06:33 AM

If I ever become king, the job recruiters will be the first ones lined up against the wall.

There is no correlation between how job interviewers assess a candidate and how well the candidate actually performs. The people who decide if we get jobs or not are not even good at theirs. They just ask stupid questions like "what do you struggle most with?" where they know and I know and they know I know that I'm just going to give a non-answer that somehow conveys a positive trait instead of the weakness they asked me for. Why the fuck would I give you my weakness? You think Clark Kent went to the Daily Planet and told the boss "yeah, kryptonite fucks my shit up; if I call in, you know why"?

And they still give out MBTI tests as if they have validity and reliability. Even if they did, that just seems discriminatory to me. Yeah, it just turns out that the personality type everyone wants to hire is the extraverted one or whatever. Fuck shy people, they don't need jobs. I know introversion isn't the same as being shy, but it's clear that they just wanna hire the white guy who did university tennis and already won at life.

duovamp 03-28-2023 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ovary (Post 4620212)
he's only 6 months. i guess the crying is intense and constant. ie he is very not happy.

My son cried pretty much every waking minute from day 1 through month 4. At 5 months he slowly stopped screaming himself to sleep. Hopefully your son is on track to start that leap at 6 months where he starts to develop better self-soothing.

smashingjj 03-28-2023 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by duovamp (Post 4620655)
My son cried pretty much every waking minute from day 1 through month 4. At 5 months he slowly stopped screaming himself to sleep. Hopefully your son is on track to start that leap at 6 months where he starts to develop better self-soothing.

Have you seen "We Need To Talk About Kevin?"

bardy 03-28-2023 06:01 PM

cant believe I still recognize the usernames of people who post here

bardy 03-28-2023 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by duovamp (Post 4620655)
My son cried pretty much every waking minute from day 1 through month 4. At 5 months he slowly stopped screaming himself to sleep. Hopefully your son is on track to start that leap at 6 months where he starts to develop better self-soothing.

my son cried a lot until I stopped eating dairy (while breastfeeding). He was a happy baby without dairy in his body. But then I guess the absence of continued exposure pushed him into being actually allergic to it instead of just sensitive to it. So then he got hives if he had it as an older child. We did gradual exposure therapy for it and he was no longer allergic to dairy at about 5 years old. So I traded some months of a crying baby for years of an allergy. I'd probably do the same thing over again--dealing with a baby who cries constantly is so mentally exhausting as a parent.

ilikeplanets 03-28-2023 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bardy (Post 4620710)
cant believe I still recognize the usernames of people who post here

I can't believe I recognize your username!

Ol' Couch Ass 03-28-2023 07:01 PM

As I live and breathe...

ovary 03-28-2023 07:15 PM

we started cry it out sleep training thursday and since then he's been pretty much zero fussy at home and also good in daycare. first night was tough but now he's sleeping like a champ. hopefully it keeps up

topleybird 03-28-2023 07:43 PM

Cry it out sleep training, aka my life, am I right? Folks,

ilikeplanets 03-28-2023 07:58 PM

I never did cry it out, but I roomshare with my babies until they're at least one year old. So that would make me an utter asshole to be in the room ignoring them while they look at me crying. No, that waits until they're older and meaner.

ovary 03-28-2023 08:32 PM

he went from in the bed with mom to crib in the other room so it was a pretty abrupt transition but so far so good.

now i am sick afuckinggain with some daycareitis bullshit fuucckkk oh well

ovary 03-28-2023 08:33 PM

boutta dip into that dayquil haze and put on the west wing. carry me away to a better place president bartlett

ilikeplanets 03-28-2023 08:56 PM

Dayquil is like a panic attack in a bottle for me


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