I assume you approve of all my messages.

Besides, it's really your dad's approval I crave.

I bet that's not all of his you crave.

;)

:erm:

oh

I have the best poops these days. At least one a day, no straining. ✌

This thread is a decade old.

I guess we're really straining at this point. Should wipe this thread from the board.

Then we can squeeze another one out.

In a pinch.

how corny of you to say so.

Are you poo-pooing my puns?

You know, if there's one thing I've learnt from being in the army, it's never ignore a poo-poo. I knew a Major who got poo-pooed. Made the mistake of ignoring the poo-poo. He poo-pooed it. Fatal error, because it turned out all along that the soldier who poo-pooed him had been poo-pooing lot of other officers who poo-pooed their poo-poos. In the end, we had to disband the regiment. Morale totally destroyed by poo-poo.

hbd

There is a kernel of truth embedded in this anecdote.

Almost! "If we all work poop together..."

Since fully committing to veganism a week or two ago, my shits have all been type 6 or 7

But at least they're ethical shits

Yesterday's Stool Elicited Mopping

Sorry, wrong thread.

i ate cevape the other day and got constipated for the first time in like forever

last week i had some type 7 for an evening but for the most part it's been pretty unremarkable. except i still get blood every few weeks but apparently it's no big deal :shrug:

what does the doc say?

butt elves

there's a cool philosophical discussion in the middle pages of this thread, like an undigested corn kernel deep in a large type 3-4 turd rope.

i've been changing my diet and trying some different protein bars and some of them have like 18g of fiber, plus i had generic fiber one one night plus general vegetables etc. and i i had a poop wider than a soda can the other day. how is that even possible. while i was doing it i could feel how big it was and was trying to strategize getting it out and ultimately i just went for it and it didn't hurt too much, but i knew i had to look at it cuz it was going to be gargantuan. waayyyy too much fiber, i thought i was gonna die, and then a lot of blood for a day or so after.

someone else talk about their poops please

every time i eat lentils i fart a lot. i go on these long walks and just keep pooting along. sometimes a jogger will come up behind me and i won't them because of OM or ALCEST or BORIS in my ears and wham, i hit them with a flatulence cloud.

lol

ive hard blood on the toilet paper but i think it was from ANAL FISSURES

Tucks medicated pads are good for both clean/soothing your booty if you have hemroids

Fully endorsed, but they are butt ton expensive so use sparingly

that's not very nice.

i had painful ones like 15 years ago but these days they are internal and cause no pain thankfully.

when i had the other ones i used this product

hydrocortisone specially packaged for your booty

well what am i supposed to do, walk around with my sphincter clenched and my colon full of gas? i try to turn around from time to time to check if anyone is coming up on my trail but that just looks weird. so i unleash, and if they perish, they perish.