dude, elph, hang in there. give it some time. you went for walks: go on longer walks, with music. and give the ecstasy a break. i know you feel crappy and i'm not trying to question your feelings, but at least some of this is due to coming off that stuff.

I'm not asking you to teach, just to clarify what you just described

genuinely interested

elphie come and chat tonight in discord

uh oh you're in big trouble, mister

Yeah, live-stream that shit

Just give yourself one more week; count down the days as they pass

Imagine if you killed yourself and only one week later you would have felt better

Just give yourself one week

i had that song stuck in my head for a year. even tommy was sick of it. god, i hate that song.

chickitty-chine at the chinese chicken

Barenaked Ladies are sinisterly catchy.

Add to that the fact that in Canada, there is this undue reverence for our few popular domestic bands, particularly amongst the middle aged, and it makes bands like this and the Tragically Hip unescapable.

Thankfully even Canadians draw the line at Nickelback, though. We don't typically correct people who mistakenly believe they are American. You guys can have them.

how do you guys feel about moxy fruvous, these days?

I still love King of Spain. I'm ashamed, but I do. There, I said it.

I hit rock bottom

snorting coke with guys that could have easily murdered and robbed me

drank so much and then the Real Sad kicked in as I entered oblivion wide awake...it can all be so much worse

no more drinking

I've actually never heard of them and had to Google them. I assume anything connected to Jian Ghomeshi can't be looked at with much fondness in 2019, though.

Jesus, dude, a breakup after a six-month relationship should not cause you to "hit rock bottom."

You should be snorting coke for fun, not out of despondency.

i did coke in the backroom of a gas station with the owner and his friend after it had closed. i had just purchased beer from the place as it was closing up.

elph is making me remember how much i liked coke.

stop that would you

Received a B at school. It hurts. I’m not dealing with the endless distractions of life very well. In Sydney I did a lot better, because I hired a babysitter to help me. And also my husband was around.

It’s been 47 days since he was here last. And another 28 until he arrives back for good. It looks like he has a job offer and will go straight to work when he gets here, which is a relief, but also quite hard for him. He’s doing his normal job, trying to find a new job, selling all the furniture and household crap, and painting the apartment. He needs a break, but I have a feeling the new job will want him to start straight away.

I’m unmedicated and living with my parents and my kids without my main support person, and I’ve gone back to school full time. I keep flip flopping between “I need to go see someone ASAP to organise these thoughts” and “Is therapy an extravagance? Could I just journal everything and make to do lists? Could it really be that easy?”

In some ways living with my parents had been a helpful trigger to re examine my past traumas and see all the ways my life has been affected by my upbringing. But it is pretty brutal. The kids are OK but not great. We really need to find a house and we keep inching closer...but it’s just so painfully slow.

Twenty years ago I’d be out bingeing like Elph, drowning away the confusion and the hurt and the fear.

Now I just do a shit job on my homework and drink herbal tea and sleep like the dead

Am I middle aged now?

middle aged? we're all fucking geriatric here. even 'young Elph' is about 68

I think the E burned out my serotonin receptors or something

I just woke up that day feeling abysmal

and my depression just takes the form of these obsessive fixations on women that don't want me anymore

I got some other woman's # that night while she was on a date lol

also nah coke sucks I did like 3 bumps though

sympathetic as always, elephant

elph is just rottenugly 5 years later

sympathetic as always, y s e m

usually takes 2 months to start feeling better I read

I'm one month through so ill just focus on surviving the next month

i was accepted into a program at school for poor and first-generation college students (I am both!) that provides auxiliary advising and other things that focus on moving into a higher education program. i've decided to chase a phD in linguistics. :s

the interview following my application was this week and i was voted in by the program faculty. :bananamac

yeah, ok, just wait until i drop the parentheses bomb on them

Good luck at school, that's pretty sweet. It's possible to rip right through a PhD program if you have the extra time. My dad got his in 9 months!

now that you mention it. I'm no phd chaser but I believe 'false bullshit' is a double negative, isn't it? does that mean if you call someone out on their 'false bullshit', does that mean you actually agree with them? interesting.

i have a phd in grammer (took me nine hours) and i can conform that yes, this is veritably true.

well shit. let's just say I don't wish you bad luck, y s e m

congrats