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reprise85 05-04-2020 10:56 PM

just in case anyone else was wondering


FoolofaTook 05-05-2020 10:40 AM

i finished the salsa.

the agony was exquisite.

FlamingGlobes 02-05-2021 12:46 PM


FlamingGlobes 02-05-2021 12:47 PM

Yesterday I had a poop that was so long and stiff it took three flushes before it would go down. Each time it would get stuck in the center of the bowl, resembling a zero with a slash mark through it.

FlamingGlobes 02-05-2021 12:48 PM

Happiness is emptiness and God is dehydrated just like me.

FoolofaTook 02-05-2021 01:00 PM

In "I'm Me" there's a part where Weezy rhymes "heavy metallin" with "Led Zepellin."


Shit's fuckin fire.

MyOneAndOnly 02-05-2021 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes (Post 4574016)
Yesterday I had a poop that was so long and stiff it took three flushes before it would go down. Each time it would get stuck in the center of the bowl, resembling a zero with a slash mark through it.

“In February 1995, working in conjunction with nutritionists at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, I adopted a super fiber-rich diet which allowed me to successfully produce a single extruded excrement the exact length of my colon: 26 feet. I documented the extrusion at the Cranbrook-Kingswood High School Bowling Alley, Bloomfield Hills, MI, which offered a length of floor suitable for the process and measuring the results. The cathartic diet was supplemented by a high intake of Metamucil fiber substance. The weeklong endurance prior to the event was ensured by the employment of a plug specifically designed to curtail any premature excretions.”


FlamingGlobes 02-05-2021 02:49 PM

Must spread rep.

FlamingGlobes 02-05-2021 02:49 PM

And Lysol. So much Lysol.

reprise85 02-05-2021 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MyOneAndOnly (Post 4574030)
“In February 1995, working in conjunction with nutritionists at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, I adopted a super fiber-rich diet which allowed me to successfully produce a single extruded excrement the exact length of my colon: 26 feet. I documented the extrusion at the Cranbrook-Kingswood High School Bowling Alley, Bloomfield Hills, MI, which offered a length of floor suitable for the process and measuring the results. The cathartic diet was supplemented by a high intake of Metamucil fiber substance. The weeklong endurance prior to the event was ensured by the employment of a plug specifically designed to curtail any premature excretions.”


this is actually pretty coll

FlamingGlobes 02-05-2021 05:21 PM

*colon

smashingjj 02-05-2021 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes (Post 4574016)
Yesterday I had a poop that was so long and stiff it took three flushes before it would go down. Each time it would get stuck in the center of the bowl, resembling a zero with a slash mark through it.

ř

ovary 02-05-2021 09:51 PM

big news: i have an anal fissure

FoolofaTook 02-05-2021 10:04 PM

I'm so sorry ...



I told my dad to be gentle ...




:(

run2pee 02-05-2021 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MyOneAndOnly (Post 4574030)
“In February 1995, working in conjunction with nutritionists at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, I adopted a super fiber-rich diet which allowed me to successfully produce a single extruded excrement the exact length of my colon: 26 feet. I documented the extrusion at the Cranbrook-Kingswood High School Bowling Alley, Bloomfield Hills, MI, which offered a length of floor suitable for the process and measuring the results. The cathartic diet was supplemented by a high intake of Metamucil fiber substance. The weeklong endurance prior to the event was ensured by the employment of a plug specifically designed to curtail any premature excretions.”


Fucken rad

How do i achieve this in my familys home

run2pee 02-05-2021 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ovary (Post 4574121)
big news: i have an anal fissure

Oh gosh

Rub some medicine on there and go to bed. Wishing u all the best for your bottoms

ovary 02-05-2021 10:38 PM

i will not be treating the fissure with anything but prayer

it is quite itchy. wiping my ass is my new favorite part of the day

run2pee 02-06-2021 04:16 AM

Overy for the love of omf

For our love of all that’s good and our love of all that’s true.....

Go to bed and rest that anus, quit jokin round online, for gods sake

ovary 02-06-2021 10:57 AM

i will not surrender my life to this fissure. all these people staying in bed with their fissures are just sheeple. those webmd "experts" don't know what they're talking about. fissures are no big deal, just a little itchy pain. i take a lot of vitamins so i'm sure mine won't get that bad. actually i've been doing some research online and i found some sources claiming that these "fissures" aren't even real and that the doctors just tell you you have them to get pharmaceutical kickbacks. i'm not saying i believe it totally, because my ass is fire right now, but it's an interesting perspective, really makes you think twice

FoolofaTook 02-08-2021 04:12 PM

I just saw a dude take a dump by a busy intersection here in Laureles. He pulls down his pants, sits down on the grill cover of a drainpipe, and poops away. He took his time too. The light must of changed at least three times until he finished (hella traffic).

MyOneAndOnly 02-08-2021 05:25 PM

you can't rush great art, or a man's bowels

FlamingGlobes 02-08-2021 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FoolofaTook (Post 4574404)
The light must of changed at least three times until he finished.

OCD is a motherfucker.

MyOneAndOnly 02-08-2021 05:56 PM

Welcome to Ukraine


smashingjj 02-08-2021 06:34 PM

I don't see what's so dirty?

MyOneAndOnly 02-08-2021 07:28 PM

if you scratch the screen while you watch it you can smell it

pinetree 02-10-2021 11:07 PM

just when i thought netphoria couldn't be any dumber, I come back and see this thread.... and you TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF

mxzombie 02-15-2021 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinetree (Post 4574601)
just when i thought netphoria couldn't be any dumber, I come back and see this thread.... and you TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF

this thread is almost 13 years old

pinetree 02-16-2021 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mxzombie (Post 4574841)
this thread is almost 13 years old

until last year I hadn't looked at netphoria for a good 17 years so the math checks out

FoolofaTook 02-16-2021 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes (Post 4574015)


mxzombie 02-17-2021 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinetree (Post 4574943)
until last year I hadn't looked at netphoria for a good 17 years so the math checks out

it took you 17 years of not looking at netphoria to think, "that place couldn't get any dumber!"

then you got here, saw this thread, and realized you were wrong

pinetree 02-17-2021 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mxzombie (Post 4574985)
it took you 17 years of not looking at netphoria to think, "that place couldn't get any dumber!"

then you got here, saw this thread, and realized you were wrong

or maybe I was simply making a dumb and dumber reference :rofl:

mxzombie 02-19-2021 01:31 PM

hilarious, and well executed!

slunken 02-20-2021 11:16 AM

been taking psyllium husk for a couple months or so. monster dumps on the reg. bowl looks like a pile of wet leaves. very satisfying 8/10 would recommend.

slunken 02-20-2021 11:17 AM

oldphoria

redbreegull 02-23-2021 05:31 PM

Peeing out the butt rn

ovary 02-27-2021 02:40 PM

the internet led me to believe my anal fissure would unfizzle on its own.

that has not happened.

still itchy and burney. hmm

MyOneAndOnly 02-27-2021 05:51 PM

sounds more like a hemorrhoid

MyOneAndOnly 02-27-2021 05:57 PM

i apologize if this has already been posted. Behold, the Lloyd Banks Turd:



Quote:

THIS PIECE OF FOSSILIZED VIKING poop is so well-preserved, one paleoscatologist called it as “precious as the crown jewels.” Archaeologists have dated the dung back to the ninth century, when what’s now York was ruled by Norse warrior-kings.

This coprolite (fossilized feces) was discovered in 1972 in York under what was to become a local bank. As such, it’s been named the Lloyds Bank coprolite, or more colloquially, the Lloyds Bank turd.

ovary 02-27-2021 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MyOneAndOnly (Post 4575520)
sounds more like a hemorrhoid

that would explain my roid rage

smashingjj 02-28-2021 02:16 PM

pure LOGOS


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