fanks. right now i feel like the only thing that might stop me is not having enough monies.

study at work if you can get away with it

my new job won't allow for much of that since i will be working directly with students who use the disability services at school. but i did have a job once where i could do all sorts of homework. that was niiice and no one bothered me about it.

i do like to plan an extended break in the days i have classes so i can be forced to just read and do work since i am on campus and in school mode or whatever. the only break i could schedule this quarter is on Wednesdays between 4:10 and 6pm; my final class that day is 6 - 9:15! and it takes me close to 45 minutes to get home.

it's easy to justify the sacrifice when i remember that quarters are only 10 weeks long which means i only have to attend that class ten times.

the program director advises building relationships with professors and i straight up asked her how. i told her i have no problem maintaining communicative relationships with them when class is in session but i don't know how i could maintain that or what reasons there would be. "networking" just seems so inauthentic, but evidently it's important if i want to meet my goals.

and it feels more imperative now that i get over my tendency to always go at things alone and avoid asking for help. it feels like an inconvenience to burden someone with a request or feel worthy of asking for a favor or anything that could seem like an imposition, but there is a lot more to it. i've already started discussing my desire with my therapist to change my behavior and i guess it starts by realizing where the narrative of believing my wants are not worth bothering people with came from. i'm really going to shoot myself in the foot if i don't address this shit now.

my awful procrastination is only going to hurt me the busier i get and i'd really like to exercise more will power with how i spend my time. i watch entirely too much television and i always have. it's why i hate owning one and did not when i lived alone. i can't just make timmy get rid of it though. other than that i just plain old procrastinate and a lot of my time isn't what i would consider quality time and i feel scattered quite often. i'm always in a state of self-imposed stress because of it. or maybe i would still be stressed. i'd like to find out.

ok

Does livejournal still exist anyway?

ask elph or dk.

you're so saucy and clever. i love it.

I actually did this recently with my therapist, for the same reason although I phrase it that I don't want to bother anybody. A few days later my mom called me and told me she had been in a car accident a few weeks ago and got a new car and she didn't tell me until then because she didn't want to bother me...


as for relationships with professors. you don't have to be their best friends. just show interest, ask questions during lecture. especially if they are in your actual field, let them know you're planning on going into that field professionally. maybe show up a bit early, sit in the front row. when class is over stick around while they get their stuff together and say something about the lecture. just be an attentive and engaged student that obviously wants to be there and is trying to get the most out of the class.

when i did this i really was very engaged, so yeah some of it is networking because you know you need them for references and stuff, but they know that is their role also. they're just humans you know? they'd rather give good references to students they know personally than look at some unknown student's grades and a paper they half-remember and try to come up with something nice to say about them.

i do all of this and teachers love me. then i cease all contact once the semester or quarter ends. apparently i need to quit that so i can make connections and get good letters of recommendation and junk.

i just took multiple classes from the same professors. i guess if that's not feasible i'd let them know my intention to ask them for a letter after x semester and hope they remember me? i dunno that's hard. of the three letters i got

1. took 5 of his classes, but none in final semester
2. took 2 of his classes, last one in last semester
3. two classes plus honors thesis finished last semester

since i only went to university for the last two years it was like

1 3
s 1
2 1 1

3 3 1 1 2
s
4 3 2

if that makes sense. that means half my credits came from these dudes. they knew me. doesnt hurt that i got As but that's not really necessary as long as you show enthusiasm

somehow creepy and cute at the same time

The man is a treasure

holy shit there are two young bald eagles hanging out in a tree just twenty meters away from the room where i am working. they're making these weird squawks and flying around and shit.

:)

i learned this morning my cousin chris was shot and killed in an argument with his roommate. i haven't seen him in yeeeears because my mother is estranged from that part of her family since they used to steal money and stuff from her for drugs. i always thought that sort of behavior and drama had passed for them over the years, so it was a surprise to learn gun violence rears its ugly head again in my family. chris' brother andy spent close to 15 years in prison for attempted murder. he only got out a handful of years ago.

i get you. i feel like much of my stress is over stupid things like not feeling able to get the best out of my time.

Photo by: Dallas County Jail
Gilbert Martinez, 39.
NEWS
'You better call 911': Dallas man shot and killed roommate, affidavit says
Gilbert Martinez, 39, faces a murder charge in the killing of Christopher Rubio.
Author: WFAA Staff
Published: 3:52 PM CDT April 1, 2019
Updated: 3:52 PM CDT April 1, 2019

DALLAS — A Dallas man is accused of killing his roommate on Sunday night in Oak Cliff, according to an arrest warrant affidavit.

Gilbert Martinez, 39, faces a murder charge in the killing of Christopher Rubio after the pair was involved in a disagreement about 7:30 p.m. at a home in the 2700 block of West 12th Street.

A neighbor reported hearing people arguing and hearing a “pop," the affidavit said. Another neighbor said he saw Martinez stand over Rubio and say, “you better call 911 if you want them to save your life," according to the affidavit.

While Rubio was being transported to Methodist Central Hospital, he told Dallas Fire-Rescue, “my roommate shot me, and I think it was a 9-millimeter," the affidavit said. Rubio died at the hospital.

Martinez was arrested after police searched the residence and found a 9mm handgun, the affidavit said.

-----

oh my god, this hurts way too much to think about.

sorry to hear :/

so today i walked the grimalkin gauntlet yet again. and low and behold, on the very first block thereof: four, yes four, repining felines appeared! after that truly auspicious start, i dared to dream of double digits. and, indeed, the final count was ten! (that beats the previous record of eight or nine [i didn't take precise count back then, fool that i am])

that's right: ten grimalkins splayed out in sphinxlike majestitude!!!

congrats fulltoke, and hbd

I heard a touching story, but I don’t know its source. A little boy arrived at the pediatrician’s office. When the doctor was using the stethoscope on the child’s chest, he placed the earpieces in the boy’s ears, so that he could listen to the sound of his own heart. Having never heard a heartbeat, the child was startled! Then he asked: “Is that the sound of Jesus knocking on the door of my heart?”

And then Jesus started knocking a funky rhythm.

Thinking of taking on an additional job this summer to help me get out of debt.

Most of you guys must have experience working two jobs. What's the best way to do it? My availability for my current job is essentially any time, so I'm worried about how exactly I can coordinate my schedules to ensure that they never conflict.

I'm thinking of doing something in the restaurant/bar industry where I can make tips, but that industry is fast-paced and stressful, and I've got low self-esteem and am afraid of trying things I may fail and humiliate myself at.

Any sort of hospitality job should be alright in the short term, really. Some places might let you do casual hours, too, to work around your existing commitments. I would avoid big chains, if possible.

I was once front of house/hostess/till person for a cafe and, though I worked full time, some of my colleagues were doing casual shifts while they were at uni or worked at other places. It's tiring, but manageable, as long as you don't do it forever.
Otherwise you could do some sort of online-based thing?

I moved to Alaska and pretty much hated it and worked 60+ hours a week only to move back to Florida (soon) and more or less break even with money as long as I can sell my car before I leave. I hate myself.

:(

i have two jobs plus freelace on mechanical turk and some other sites. my first job is grocery store, second is only with appen.com, and then i do the freelance. it's easy because i can do the online stuff at any point, but the freelance stuff is certainly better during the day and during the week, so i made my availability only on tues, fri, sat, sun for the grocery store

Hai. Is chat still a statement?

I played amateur psychologist for one of my bandmates tonight...

I hope he sorts his girl stuff out. Or not, you know...either way. We're all on this wonderful journey...

Hey man, that's a real predicament. You want answers? Let's stick with the facts...

She sure said something...certainly made herself clear.

It was the Easter weekend worship service and it was time for the children’s story. Many children went up to the platform, and the children’s pastor handed each of them a plastic Easter egg, but they were not to open it until she told them to. I was wondering what the lesson was about. When she gave the signal, all the children expectantly opened their eggs at the same time. I could see confusion and disappointment in their faces. “Are you surprised?” she asked and then added, “They are empty! And so was the tomb of Jesus!” I never forgot that visual aid.

lolololo
good one, pastor