Been on the no food love hunger strike. Hope it helps me loose weight so I can find someone new and not die alone. That's all I have to contribute.

gonna turn 28 this year. no spring chick.

Oh look pot calling the kettle black

pretty sure he's including himself in that

well i don't know what that means but i'm assuming you're not eating. be careful

i just turned 29 a few days ago. feels kinda weird.

Happy Belated Birthday Erica! Hope it was a good one.

thank you

one day closer to DEATH

This kind of thought process is very unhelpful. I am eating very small amounts spaced out. I'm just not hungry. That was a lie, I do get hungry I just refuse to eat for now.

kelsome when was the last time you saw a therapist?

Self edit sure, but breaking my shit into more paragraphs? I thought I did just that. On my monitor anyway it's three paragraphs of four lines. If that's too much, and too long, maybe people need to learn to read faster..... that's not even close to being a super fucking unbelievably lengthy post. Uninteresting? Yeah whatever, very possible. But the length was just fine.

Also it's creepy that you know my name but I don't know yours.

who says there's not a good reason to rejoice every single day.

There probably isn't anything that looks more like depression than my multiple attempts to put on my makeup everyday
You'd think I'd be getting a little better

you and me both, sister.

i just wanna cover a couple blemishes and not look sallow.

I'm mostly struggling with with covering my beard shadow without looking like Powder

And not stabbing myself n the eyeball when I do eyeliner
And not getting nail polish all over my entire right hand

Oy vey

ugh i have the same problem with nail polish. i h8 it. i'll paint my left hand with my right and it looks great, right? then i fuck my right hand using my left so i just take it all off. pretty much all my polish goes to waste that way.

i like using clear polish for that reason. or this stuff:
http://pics2.ds-static.com/prodimg/464484/300.JPG

not only do nails look clean and pretty, but chipping is never visible. chipped polish reeks of grungy teenager to me probably because i always sported nasty chipped polish in h.s.

I mostly go clear with this "nail protein" stuff that promises to keep my nails from always breaking since they've always been brittle
But dammit I want black nails
It sucks that I can do my toes perfect but nobody's ever gonna see my dumb nasty big toes

this thread is for telling people how much you want to kill yourself, not sharing makeup tips.

Every thread is whatever anyone wants it to be
The internet is a magic playground

makeup seems like kind of a fun thing to be into.

kind of like the way women have a much wider selection of sex toys.

intense thread
that vixnix/pavement/trotsky interaction made me squirm

fixed.

Did i do bad again chamfuck

Ah, i'm going to see my therapist today. I'm just going through a breakup with a live-in bf.

If i may, maybe ask about ways to derive self worth from other sources than a bf. It seems from your posts, breakups trigger major troughs

not saying anyone did bad

Yeah she keeps telling me about self worth. I must be dumb and can't get it through my thick skull. Or it can't be attained. Whatever. Work will save me.

no it won't

you can do it or whatever...boys r dum

i really wish i was one of those sad people who just threw themselves into work

my life would be no less miserable but at least i wouldn't be such a loser

You could always throw yourself unto a train track.


Though don't.


I mean you'd probably fail at that too.

come on keep that shit out of my thread

You're not a loser. But I also don't think people who throw themselves into work are necessary doing it in an unhealthy way. Obviously you need work/life balance but people in the medical field, for example, might just really like their jobs that much.

But that might just be me trying to justify what will be long years if I'm to continue on the psychology career path. Since I'm already doing 50-60 hour weeks between work/school/homework/studying and I'm just getting started.

Hope things get better, kel.

I have problems with self worth. Only I don't have personal relationships so my self worth is basically based on what happened at work/school that day which is not really good either. Like I got suspended from work (mandatory) after being short $60 and it's hard to not just think I'm an idiot who can't count and should just drop out of school and kill myself. If this would have happened a year or so ago I would have felt that way without knowing it's out of proportion. Now I still feel that way sometimes but know it's crazy talk.

i am a picture book superloser.

i see losers as people like banana and nimrod. people who are unrepentant jerks who somehow think they are some kind of gift to mankind.

those are "assholes"

me and mr. rhino are "losers"

i dont see it that way. i like you guys. but i guess if you guys are "losers" than so am i.

no friends, no fems, no life, no joy