you have to be a Chinese businessman

It's true.

I am convinced money would solve 99% of my problems. It's not even that hard for most white men to make a decent amount of money so really I have no excuse. Even better, i'm from middle class (well lower). But like most of these people I have stupid fucking mental issues. Though i'm pretty sure i didn't invent them. They just make me feel guiltier though.

How many people around here are from NZ anyway? Two seems a lot already. hey remember that girl ****** that was like a part time model ("you could be a part time model" how fitting) from NZ? Whatever happened to her. She was cute. I think she had left by the time I did though. I remember thinking sure you're a model and then like cactuar saw a billboard she was on or something. Someone in Australia anyway.

I'm going nowhere with this, just reminiscing.

A good end to this story would be someone telling me that's vixnix.

sorry to disappoint you but I'm half-Samoan, have size 12 feet, and have never been asked to do any modelling.

Actually, once...but that was for an asthma awareness campaign and they wanted equal numbers of different skin colours, so that was a bit different.

I'M HALF SAMOAN, B

you best watch your healf debartment and save your breafs. Look to me when I spek to you. Look to my eyes. I come to squash you, if you talk to me akain in dis way

no God, that's pathetic, I can't do it. Samoans are actually very funny people but I guess the genes for humour didn't transmit along with the ones for huge paddle feet and massive leg muscles

Samoan people are wonderful.

large sweeping generalizations remind me of racism, even if they're positive.

I hear samoans are magical.

Someone should make sweeping generalizations about french canadians.

Then again i imagine most people here have had limited contact with them. I assure you they're not all as annoying as me.

here's my sweeping generalization about french canadians

they're all faggots, every last one

They have to reproduce asexually

GO TELL THAT TO GEORGE SAINT PIERRE'S FACE WHY DONT YOU?





Well........ok he does like to grapple on the floor with nearly naked guys. Fuck.

And yes i'm pretty much a fag, i'm not gonna deny that. I mean in the non homosexual kinda way.

quebecois are a handsome people and their women are magnifique

I see GSP got to you.

The women are pretty good looking in average though, that's not too much of a sweeping generalization. I mean........compared to the rest of canada anyway you know. (oh yes i did go there)


I have to say though, Texans are all ignorant gun loving rednecks.

not all of them are ignorant rednecks

So...what gun you got?

44 magnum desert eagle

i kinda want a gun but i probably shouldn't have one around the house.

So, to keep in theme of the thread what would you guys recommend to blow my head off with? I suppose magnum is pretty good but i'm afraid the recoil from the shot might make me miss.

Shotgun sure, but the mess...i mean loved ones would probably like the option of an open casket.

a sawed off shutgun in your mouth or a 44. a 22 can do the job as long as it bounces around in your skull. don't know how to blow one's head off without the head... being... blown... off.

Well i didn't mean that literally.

That's what my uncle did, shotgun. But there was a big mess. And he did it at a friends' house. I mean great so his kid can't see it but come on man, its just a friend! they're not supposed to have to deal with the mess. That's not what friends are for. Keep that for the family. Or how about just doing it outside, less cleaning. Less having to look at that stain on your carpet and remember what that's from. I mean id hate having to change my furniture or carpet just cause a "friend" came to kill themselves in my house. See that's NOT what friends do, ruin your carpet with their brain chunks. Come on.

Fuck you.

Stop giving me so much credit. I'm about to start believing you hate me.

if i ever get a gun i want a pearl-handled deagle. bang!

:nooooo: Glorification of violence. Shooting guns isn't all fun and games. Sometimes someone gets hurt. Oh no wait, that's actually the fun part.


I want a Lemat. 2 barrels, one regular revolver, one single shot shotgun. Bang AND blam.

Sweeping generalization

Canadians eat sausage, drink a lot of beer, and have big dogs. They like to go to dog parks and pick up chicks there. Invite them over for steak and prawns, hang out on the deck with your fancy beer, wax philosophical, talk about hockey, and canoeing.

Yeah that's canadians. Not the french kind. I seldom ate sausage when i ate meat, i hate beer (when i drank it as a teen, to get drunk, it was fairly fancy though), i never had a dog (except as a kid). i rarely talk about hockey and only canoed a handful of times.

I remember when i went to chicago in 2000 people ordered a deep dish with canadian bacon and i had to ask ammy what canadian bacon was. I'd never heard of it...

Other things that make me not very canadian:

My English-American gf had to tell me who Stompin' Tom Connors was, I was like 32

I've never seen the Mckenzie brothers movie (i can't even remember the name right now)

I don't own a Tragically Hip or Rush album

I have decent taste in clothes (well ok i haven't always plus that's an old stereotype from back when canadians were a bit more square...)

I haven't skated since i was like 11 and never was good at it (in the same vein, i havent played street hockey since i was a kid)

I hate winter




Things that make me canadian:

I like maple syrup on everything

I have seen Slap Shot at least twelve times (less than most but you know, but that's because they made a french canadian dubbed version which is potentially better than the english version)

I am sanctimonious

i think The Littlest Hobo theme song is the best TV show theme song ever written

Despite barely actually watching hockey (even though i discuss it and follow it somewhat) i tend to get very emotional when we win the gold medal

i hate winter

i like how even a total post-punk nerd like ariel watches and discusses hockey

O, CANADA

one of my favorite euphemisms is for the act of hugging: "rubbing bacon"

I want to move to another city. I want to live in a big city, with a bunch of people, make enough money to live by myself. I want to completely start over and meet new people. I'm tired of being isolated. I don't want to go home and get stoned and play video games again. I don't want to go to shitty dive bars to play poker because I can't find anything better to do here. And all of this is so hopeless. I don't and probably won't have enough money saved up to just get up and go somewhere. I am unskilled and pretty much wasted the last 8 years of my life and it's so depressing thinking about these wants, and thinking about that excitement, and thinking how much it could drive me, but no that it's basically impossible. I'm stuck here with people and things I don't want in my life.

I'm bored at work and I just needed to get this out. Bye.

Cities don't necessarily fix all this. I lived the first 21 years of my live in the boonies. Like the real boonies. I hated the isolation the last like 6 years. I moved to montreal finally (well the suburbs for a few years first). I did have a fairly active social life for some years. But now it was ten years in mtl last december and I'm still as isolated as i was . Why? Because turns out places didn't make me lonely, my social anxiety problems and my personality and low tolerance of others makes me lonely and isolated.

Its not always where you are but sometimes who you are. As a teen I used to dream my life would be amazing an exciting in a city. I was very wrong.