and definitely not sex with the dead

do you sell dime bags?

i really feel like your life-path is leading you directly to black metal.

when that first wave of warmth envelopes your body at about beer 3 awwwww yes that's the stuff

some day we'll be dignified and old

my hair stylist (lol for my moptop) drinks shots with me while she dyes my hair (jet black)

we listen to Velvet Underground and talk about how Lou Reed was a monster to women but THE KING so what can you do

that was fun today I mean she's like 30 and married but I think she's my best friend

my roommate tells me he saw my ex on some online dating thing whatever the newest swipe-uh is

thing is he never met her

but he got her name and description right

you take one look at her and you know we dated how did I let something like that go

I made her cry one night

only to cry when she said she had enough

hey thanks dead forum I needed this

i'm still waiting for these quotation marks to close

i'd just like to point out that CW here is referencing this post. lol

It's like that episode of The Wire in which McNulty figures out that paying Avon's Verizon bill is the key to getting up on his phone.

One of my seminary teachers would sometimes tell students that there should be an eleventh commandment in the Bible: “Thou shalt not do theology against thy neighbor.”

^ now here's a man who knows how to get deep into the mind of an adventist virgin

Google has sent me a push notification to watch the trailer for the new Aladdin movie no fewer than four times now.

Kinda breaking the "you only get three wishes" rule.

"You think you can tell me how many commandments I should make? Okay, new commandment: thou shalt shut the fuck up, or get smote."
—God

Smited? Smitten? Ensmite?

Also, five Aladdin trailer notifications now.

the new beauty and beast sucked ass

Hopefully the new Lion King doesn't

oh shit it actually looks good! and it's by the same director who remade jungle book, which was great.

But it's also by the same director who made Iron Man 2, which was bad.

and Zathura which was... nothing, it just was.

Well it had Kristen Stewart in it, that's a plus.

makin' oven polenta with roasted mushrooms and thyme for dinner...alone :[

then i'm going to raise the Italian flag :]

Is "raising the Italian flag" a euphemism?

¿Sabés cómo se juntan los hongos?

Hongo porongo.

ever wonder who will be the last person alive to hold a memory of you in their mind?

it could be some kid you were standing next to at a bus stop one day, who, enamored by the pattern on your socks, looked up and inexplicably had the vision of your face imprinted into their brainstuff

and that decades after anyone who ever knew your name was gone, and the world had long since moved on — there you are, sitting like a pebble in the creekbed of this person’s memory

i mean, jeez