4 years ago I had Facial Feminization Surgery. It included moving my scalp forward, reconstructing my nose, reducing my chin and jaw, and a bunch of smaller procedures which took 10 hours in an OR. It turned out to be a much more traumatic experience than I expected. The post op pain and recovery lasted months. And today I still have mild nerve damage in my face from it.

But, I have not been misgendered since my surgery. That's partly also to 2 years of voice therapy. My voice sounds like what cis straight people expect a female voice to sound.

Yesterday I had a "revision" followup surgery on my face. My face swelled so much from the original FFS surgery that I had some drooping skin along my jaw. That skin was tightened and I had the space between my nose and upper lip reduced. I also had 2000 hairs from the back of my head grafted to my forehead to feminize my hairline.

For my first surgery I was unconscious for a total of 11.5 hours. That's a long time to be under, and that alone takes a long time to recover from. This surgery was smaller, faster (2hr) surgery was done while I technically was awake. I was under a Heavy dose of Fentanyl and Ketamine (plus local anesthetic injected into my face) while my face was cut open and moved and manipulated. It was the most bizarre drug trip I"ve ever experienced.

There was virtually no pain. And the Ketamine gave me a psychedelic trip. I could hear the surgeon the whole time, but all I could see (my eyes were closed) was a weird series of visions that was comparable to what I've experienced on acid, except without the dread and anxiety I get from LSD.

I'm recovering now in bed. Everything went very well. But I'm very freaked out by the experience. I've never had Fentanyl, and certainly not via IV. And I see now how addictive it is. It creates a type of physical high that's not comparable to other opiates like hydrocodone. I understand how so many people become addicted to it.

Also, Ketamine is the shit. Wow. I want more. LOL. I wonder what it would feel like without the massive dose of Fentanyl.

Congrats on the successful surgery. Coincidentally, I was watching a show related to massive facial surgery tonight and thought of what you endured. Go you!

I've done ketamine without fentanyl a few times and enjoyed it, though I wouldn't say I ever had a huge dose. I preferred it's cousin, MXE, and never had a bad experience on either. It's technically a dissociative and not a hallucinogen...so perhaps that explains the lack of anxiety since it's more calming to the body. I also recall distorted sounds and really got a kick out of that.

That makes sense cause I felt very disassociated. That's a good way to describe it. In a good way.

Very glad the surgery went well, but I'm amazed you're alive. So many of our brave cops have very nearly died after touching even just a single grain of fentanyl or possibly an object that may have been in the same room as that grain in the past two weeks... you must be incredibly strong...

I think Fentanyl sucks. Every time they've given me some at the hospital, it never touched my pain and they switched to Dilaudid and Oxy. Much better. I realize that Fentanyl is more potent, but my body doesn't seem to get the message.

fentanyl is cut into everything and apparently 80% of opiod related deaths in IL are due to fentanyl. the health clinic at my work gives out narcam and stuff that can be administered when someone overdoses. keep those synthetic opioids away from me, thanks!

i've seen too many overdoses just living in chicago ffs

tommy and i are considered adopting a cat this weekend and i am torn between two cats. one is a young man (says he's an adult, but looks about 3 or 4 to me) named boris and the other is a tailless black kitten named chocolate chip muffins (would get changed to C.C. Muffins, maybe).

boris


his description:
HAAAYYYYY Minions.
I am looking for an experienced forever lackey. I am clearly very capable, but lack of opposable thumbs doesn’t allow me to open wet cans of cat food

miss muffins


her description:
Chocolate Chip Muffin is a stunning 5 month old mini black panther girl. She came into rescue with her tail that needed to be amputated. Chocolate Chip is all set with her bags packed, waiting for her forever home.

Chocolate Chip Muffin is very playful, gentle, sweet and loves everyone! Would you like to be her forever home?

absolutely no way to decide based on looks so i've asked to meet both this weekend. @_@ probs just gonna make it harder

love this game

I like descriptors like gentle and sweet, so if that holds true when you meet her, Muffins sounds wonderful. But Boris seems like the right kind of intimidating. Can you get 2??

got a real weakness for mischievous black furballs

we should name her pitbull since her tail is amputated :banging:

I would go the Corgan song-naming route with that thought and take it one step further to "Mrs. Worldwide"

i'm listening

clearly you need both cats

Gosh I remember that…

Glad you’ve come through this latest round ok…all the best for recovery…how soon will you return to work? Your job sounds so full on. You’d want to be 100% before going back, eh…

I think this picture with the description about being capable but not able to open cans for food would sell me on this guy. He looks like he might make a good ratter, also

But I generally go for cats that have descriptions like “should not go to home with small children, enjoys playtime and is learning boundaries” because that is a cat that will contribute to the sort of ecosystem i am looking to support in my home, where vermin are incentivised to take up residence elsewhere

Unfortunately in New Zealand that usually also means reducing populations of docile native birds. Which is an unfortunate trade off. I can see this guy with a mouthful of feathers

HE'S JUST A LITTLE BOY!!!

He’s just an excitable boy!

I bought a new car!

Cherry on top is that the car salesman asked me out to lunch. I'll probably do it.

they always do that when it's in your best interest for sure

oops wrong post

A slashed sticker price on a popular car and a free lunch? Sounds good enough to me. I don't think he's entirely full of shit, but if I'm wrong I'm not mad about my new car.

don't let someone make you feel foolish for accepting that date and the need to justify. getting asked out to lunch while the dude is on the clock is way better than meeting him at a bar or some junk.

go on, get that daddy!

if i'm ______phobic about one thing it's definitely sales people.

they GENERALLY have one goal and it's not to benefit me.

I'm not really phased since I'm not easily persuaded. But I 100% wanted that exact vehicle and knew what it was going to cost going in. There's a shortage of new cars and it's a terrible time to buy, but I couldn't wait. It was an expected price and he didn't have to pressure me. It was cute that he said he'd use his bonus (I was his last sale of the month needed to get said bonus) to take me out. It's worth one date, at least. If my oldest child ever stops being sick maybe I can actually go. Fucking school germs.

OH NO i'm glad you got a new car. I'm just making this about me.

i thought to myself "it's time to tell MY story"

what if he shows up looking like this?

Indignant, or a literal cat?