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-   -   Rolling "Shits Recently Taken" Thread (http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=159238)

FlamingGlobes 04-08-2021 10:09 AM

My guys have been bright orange the last two mornings.

Orange you glad I came back to share this with you?

run2pee 04-08-2021 10:30 AM

It’s so nice to know that u think suddenly of us whenever you’ve passed remarkable poodukens

FlamingGlobes 04-08-2021 11:15 AM

Have you seen What Lies Beneath?

reprise85 04-08-2021 05:39 PM

y'all ever heard the story of the poop knife on reddit? https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfRed...he_poop_knife/

yeah, i have a poop knife now

slunken 04-08-2021 08:06 PM

Varg Vikernes (Burzum) was arguing with a dude on Twitter yesterday saying this dude wasn't smart enough to enjoy shitting in a bucket because you shouldn't ENJOY shitting.

Shallowed 04-08-2021 08:47 PM

That explains a lot.

slunken 04-08-2021 09:59 PM

i'm too lazy to post the exchange but I can assure you neither of them won

FlamingGlobes 04-09-2021 12:08 PM

Shitting is like one of the most enjoyable and rewarding things you can do. It's right next to giving negative rep to Took.

Shallowed 04-09-2021 05:56 PM

I'm sorry for your loss

slunken 04-10-2021 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes (Post 4577732)
Shitting is like one of the most enjoyable and rewarding things you can do.

such a sad life

killtrocity 05-05-2021 12:18 PM

If you're American, install a bidet right now. At first it's very jarring to have cold water shot up and around your fartbox, but once you get used to it, it's the greatest thing in the world

Shallowed 05-05-2021 01:44 PM

ok then I won't.

Shallowed 09-27-2021 10:46 PM

HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHY DO I HAVE TO FUCKING SHIT SO MANY FUCKING TIMES I SWEAR IT'S LIKE I HAVE TO TAKE A SHIT EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW THE FUCK AM I PRODUCING SO MUCH SHIT I THOUGHT IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO CREATE SOMETHING FROM NOTHING HOW THE FUCK IS THIS EVEN LEGAL

FUCKING FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK


john's ego 11-16-2021 05:19 PM

simply delighted this was only on page 2

i've been doing 5's for like a year straight. i'm probably going to get diverticulitis and and start shitting out a 2nd belly button

Shallowed 11-18-2021 05:19 AM


toase 11-18-2021 04:26 PM

ha ha ha I do that

run2pee 11-18-2021 04:50 PM

Didn’t know u could stretch a frogs bottomhole quite so wide

Thanks

smashingjj 11-19-2021 09:20 AM

i am on my anal period

smashingjj 11-19-2021 09:20 AM

hello

smashingjj 11-19-2021 10:15 AM

all kinds of stuff coming out of my butt

smashingjj 11-19-2021 10:16 AM

food still in the wrapper, the Bible, the Bible Belt, the founding fathers

smashingjj 11-19-2021 10:16 AM

not sure how this would score on the chart

Shallowed 11-19-2021 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smashingjj (Post 4587140)
i am on my anal period

we're in sync :love:

redbreegull 11-20-2021 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smashingjj (Post 4587145)
food still in the wrapper, the Bible, the Bible Belt, the founding fathers

Woah what….. once I shit out a federalist paper. Brothers?

smashingjj 11-20-2021 11:55 AM

If this forum has proven one thing, it is that it brings people together in all kinds of ways. Brothers.

slunken 11-20-2021 12:13 PM

been regularly shitting between 3 and 4 PM on the dot every day for about 3 weeks now. I love it. Thanks.

ovary 11-20-2021 10:34 PM

i'd like to see your bottom

Shallowed 11-20-2021 10:36 PM

why deprive your other four senses?

Shallowed 06-05-2022 08:22 PM

every day i wake up and i need to sit on the toilet for like an hour


run2pee 06-06-2022 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shallowed (Post 4594523)
every day i wake up and i need to sit on the toilet for like an hour


you constipated showllad

u got to take a poo softner

run2pee 06-06-2022 01:35 AM

poo softener change my life

i have chronic constipato, irritable bowel, lactose intolerant

prone to constipation which can make u need to shit many times per day, but when u do it's not a lot. can also lead to needing to sit for a long time (for me it's i start to wipe and then that stimulation of the anal cause me to feel a need to poo again)

u better get it fast shwloawd, dont get a hemmroid like me from sitting on the potty chair too long

run2pee 06-06-2022 01:36 AM

also did a high volume enema when it was real bad. very cleansing

run2pee 06-06-2022 01:37 AM

people act like enemas are a big deal or icky or last resort kind of thing

if u ask me in addition to a bidet everyone should have an enema in their bathroom and use it like maybe once a month minimum, more if u got poo problems like our deer shoooloard

run2pee 06-06-2022 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smashingjj (Post 4587140)
i am on my anal period

word of warning dont do an enema when your on your anal period, wait until the heavy to moderate flow lessens to a light bleed, but if you must do it, use a looooot of lubrication

Shallowed 06-06-2022 01:57 AM

i do take stool softener powder

usually about 90% of it passes within the first moments of me sitting down

it's the last part that takes a long time to pass. i know those turds are up there. sometimes i can trick them into coming out if i get up and i'll almost instantly feel the urge to go again.

run2pee 06-06-2022 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shallowed (Post 4594534)
i do take stool softener powder

usually about 90% of it passes within the first moments of me sitting down

it's the last part that takes a long time to pass. i know those turds are up there. sometimes i can trick them into coming out if i get up and i'll almost instantly feel the urge to go again.

Dude see a doctor. Sounds like an impaction. In the meantime get u an enema and someone u trust to put it in u

Shallowed 06-06-2022 11:49 PM

literally every doctor i've seen has basically said "hmmmm sounds like IBS which as you know from what you've been told by every previous doctor you've had, is just something that you need to learn to manage and live with"

"managing it" meaning eating better and exercising more or something

which i am doing

i've asked for procedures, anything at all, at the absolute very least merely to find out what the fuck is going on in there, but i've been told that referrals are usually only given in cases where the condition is life threatening. besides it's probably just IBS, manage it and live with it, i guess until something life threatening shows up in my ass

Shallowed 06-07-2022 12:07 AM

one doctor I saw said my IBS was caused by anxiety, and if i managed my anxiety then it would help with my IBS

MOTHER FUCKER, my anxiety is caused by IBS, amongst a squillion different other things, almost all of which i am in no position to manage, including, apparently, my IBS

but yeah sure treating anxiety is much easier than treating IBS that hasn't killed me yet

run2pee 06-07-2022 03:47 AM

why are doctors such buttholes about poop and how and why we poop? this is my experience too is they say hmm did u try softener hmm did u try and stop to think maybe try not to be too anxious? its like they dont want to explore my pooper as if there isnt science to be found up in there

Shallowed 06-07-2022 06:51 AM

he has been a bit cagey ever since i moaned someone else's name the last time he checked my prostate


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