Netphoria Message Board

Netphoria Message Board (http://forums.netphoria.org/index.php)
-   General Chat Message Board (http://forums.netphoria.org/forumdisplay.php?f=7)
-   -   Rolling "Shits Recently Taken" Thread (http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=159238)

beef curtains 01-04-2009 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mxzombie (Post 3417258)
yours doesn't?

I don't have one although I use one frequently!

beef curtains 01-04-2009 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mariner (Post 3417296)
perhaps you misunderstand, governer curtaijevich

I'm sorry to hear you're so small

Mariner 01-04-2009 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beef curtains (Post 3417878)
I'm sorry to hear you're so small


do not be sorry for i am well-acquainted with the motion of the ocean. and it may be tiny but it's no " . " (you know who you are)

Shapan 01-04-2009 05:27 PM

man

i had the most intense dump ive had in a while last night

so i was driving to my friend's place last night to meet a bunch of people that are heading back to their respective schools. right before heading over, though, i had like 3 or 4 pieces of pizza because i hadn't eaten all day. so i got off the freeway, and im just a few miles away from the place, and my butt attacks. it practically arrests the rest of my body and i just have that sensation where you know you fucking need to go and some fucking huge abyss drops to your butt. so instead of going to my friend's place and saying hi and then chilling in the bathroom while taking a monster dump, i stopped by a close coffee place that was open late and i had been to a few times before.

that was the background information, here is the dumping.

i got into the bathroom, which was (thankfully) a single that i could lock up and not feel too conscious about taking a huge dump in. i sit down...

...

this huge ball of dump just plops from my ass. have you guys had that? when you've held a dump in for a few minutes, you enter the bathroom, and it just feels like a tennis ball drops out of your ass in the form of dump in a matter of seconds? possibly a hybrid of type 1 and type 2. so this giant ball comes out of my butt and im just like WOW because of how solid and round this thing was(and felt). i chill there for a bit, because i know that can't be it. type 6 then gracefully flows out, and thats actually when i feel like i was being relieved of whatever foul dump was polluting my butt. the first giant clump was practically like the calm before the storm, as if there was a giant 5 second rumble in your house preceding a steady earthquake that wasnt as acute as the rumble but long enough to make you brace yourself. after the type 6 i was still a little cautious because such a combination of dumps requires caution before leaving a bathroom.

i left sort of herky jerky and didnt really feel at ease until a couple minutes of sitting back down in my car.

A+

mxzombie 01-04-2009 05:34 PM

just let loose with a solid type 3, ideal dump in the houston int'l airport. take that!

reprise85 01-04-2009 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ella (Post 3417039)
Oh my, I didn't even know you were a girl... lol

I don't ever gush blood though reprise, you must have some heavy periods. =( Sorry....
Sounds like your shit is much more intense than mine. Poor girl!

I might have been exaggerating just a little

commando 01-05-2009 04:43 AM

Shapan, I for one appreciate the care and detail that go into your descriptions. I felt like I was both there and had been there.

Tchocky 01-06-2009 02:50 AM

Type 4 earlier today.

Ever have one of those shits where it feels like something huge was just violently torn out of your gut and you feel completely empty inside afterwards? Yeah...it was one of those shits for me. :p

Thaniel Buckner 07-15-2009 12:38 PM

mine haven't been good lately. need to change the diet.

mxzombie 07-15-2009 12:41 PM

yeah mine have been a little loose lately as well, despite an improved diet. i think maybe too much fiber.

dr.benway 07-15-2009 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mxzombie (Post 3517732)
yeah mine have been a little loose lately as well, despite an improved diet. i think maybe too much fiber.

yeah too much fiber does it for me

but they say it's good

i heard the japanese think you should do it after every meal
sort of like brushing your teeth

neopryn 07-15-2009 12:50 PM

past 2 days there's been pain and blood.

redbreegull 07-15-2009 03:45 PM

Last night I had some crabs and this morning I woke up with terrible stomach/intestinal cramps. During my shower I suddenly had to shit so bad I had to leap out of the tub and onto the toilet. I just made it. I could describe it as explosive diarrhea but that really does not convey the magnitude of what occurred.

exactlythesame 07-15-2009 06:02 PM

i've been having to force mine, lately -- it's been a while since i've had an urgent situation. if i do, i usually have to hold it cause i'm at a customer's house or on a job site w/o a toilet. probably not the best practice, but such is life.

i know to be healthy you have to go at least once a day.

Shallowed 07-15-2009 06:09 PM

My shits have been fairly large as of lately.

pale blue eyes 07-15-2009 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by exactlythesame (Post 3517953)
i know to be healthy you have to go at least once a day.

I usually only go once a day in the morning. If I have a big lunch maybe once in the late afternoon but that's about it. I know a guy who goes like a half an hour to an hour after he eats like clockwork. That seems a bit odd to me but at least he knows to expect it.

Joe 07-15-2009 11:28 PM

two type 4's and a type 6

Shallowed 03-18-2011 06:30 AM

Just executed the gnarliest shit I've had for a long time.

It was #5 briefly to begin with, then accellerated into #6 territory before veering suddenly to a #7. It felt like my balls were in a vice during the #6 phase, and in the #7 phase my asshole was shooting like a fucking Super Soaker.

FoolofaTook 03-18-2011 09:31 AM

I've been having the stinkiest shits and farts lately. This happens every time I change the place I live in.

The worst was the last time I lived in Korea. I love kimchi and delved deep as soon as I got back.

For the first two months or so I was farting constantly. I shit you not (no pun intended), I was farting every 15 minutes or so, and these were massive, prolonged farts that sounded like the trumpet blasts that will emanate at the second coming of the Christ LORD.

It was fun to do when I was going on my evening strolls, but it was rather troublesome to keep them contained while teaching. A repressed fart is a very strange thing (feels like you're farting up your rectum).

pale blue eyes 03-18-2011 10:05 AM

I find that the crappier (no pun intended) the quality of food I eat, the worse / bigger the poo is. In other words: A salad and some Baked Lays? Dainty. Mozzarella sticks and french fries? By the time I am done my legs hurt and I might be sweating.

FoolofaTook 03-18-2011 12:53 PM

Hott.

ASL?

mxzombie 03-18-2011 03:26 PM

i'm glad this got bumped.

Trotskilicious 03-18-2011 03:52 PM

fartyness happens when you change diets, it's your body getting accustomed to the new diet.

when i switched to hummus/vegetable lunches HOLY GOD DUDE. the morning after gas is UNBELIEVABLE and then I would crap like fucking crazy because all the veggies and hummus were cleaning my system out.

back in college i'd eat richly until i ran out of money, then i'd eat just basically crap. when i'd get another month of money to spend i'd go right back to eating out and man i was gassy as fuck those first few days of that.

mxzombie 07-31-2011 03:22 PM

just dropped a type 5 or 6, couldn't really tell. it all happened so fast. i had to flush pretty quickly to prevent the release of a pervasive stink into the rest of the cafe

redbreegull 07-31-2011 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redbreegull (Post 3517851)
Last night I had some crabs and this morning I woke up with terrible stomach/intestinal cramps. During my shower I suddenly had to shit so bad I had to leap out of the tub and onto the toilet. I just made it. I could describe it as explosive diarrhea but that really does not convey the magnitude of what occurred.

oh fuck I remember this. I didn't eat crab again until recently because of this experience.

Just now I took a shit, pretty firm and malleable, you know, the standard, except there was a lot of blood:erm:

what do

mxzombie 07-31-2011 03:49 PM

please classify your recent shit by selecting a type on the bristol stool scale

Trotskilicious 07-31-2011 04:18 PM

i had a turdrope in the morning first thing it made me feel lighter, then i started getting gassy and i made a huge pile of fluffy little shit dollops and boy those smell REAL BAD

bahnzah 07-31-2011 10:20 PM

the past two months have been a roller coaster for me. a recent change in diet without paying attention to the fiber intake took me down to type 5 town for a couple weeks. then i caught that virus, my appetite suffered and they put me on some serious antibiotics and then i was livin' on the 7th layer so to speak for about two weeks.

finally recovered and now i've been sittin pretty around 2's and 3's for the past two weeks. however, i think the pure liquid bowel movements left me with a shitty souvenir: a hemerrhoid!

by the way, how satisfying is it to wipe your ass, look at the toilet paper and see no shit on it.

bahnzah 07-31-2011 10:30 PM

just showed this thread to my gf and she said "all this talka bout shit makes me wanna shit."

now she's in the shitter playing Pokemon.

ruby edition.

redbreegull 07-31-2011 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mxzombie (Post 3746016)
please classify your recent shit by selecting a type on the bristol stool scale

I would say it was a 3 but with enough blood to make it look like a shit floating in a big shirley temple

AndySlash 07-31-2011 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bahnzah (Post 3746103)
just showed this thread to my gf and she said "all this talka bout shit makes me wanna shit."

now she's in the shitter playing Pokemon.

ruby edition.

keeper

yo soy el mejor 08-01-2011 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ravenguy2000 (Post 3416900)
You people are gross.

That is all, carry on. For some reason I can't stop reading this thread anyway.

.

mxzombie 08-01-2011 05:26 PM

don't judge me!

yo soy el mejor 08-01-2011 05:47 PM

no worries. i still think you're pretty cool.

mxzombie 08-01-2011 05:54 PM

everyone poops, you know.

mxzombie 08-01-2011 07:40 PM

type 6. too much raisin bran. not pleasant at all.

AndySlash 08-02-2011 02:24 AM

nothing memorable just now, but i did finish the sunday crossword

Trotskilicious 08-02-2011 02:43 AM

two stunning, lifechanging turdropes today. Eating vegetables means sitting on the can is a joy.

bahnzah 08-06-2011 12:31 PM

Just finished off a two-wiper. Fucking godly.

mxzombie 08-07-2011 11:37 AM

type four, probably brought on by chugging a cup of coffee this morning. i'm glad to have that out.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:43 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Smashing Pumpkins, Alternative Music
& General Discussion Message Board and Forums
www.netphoria.org - Copyright 1998-2022