You know, if there's one thing I've learnt from being in the army, it's never ignore a poo-poo. I knew a Major who got poo-pooed. Made the mistake of ignoring the poo-poo. He poo-pooed it. Fatal error, because it turned out all along that the soldier who poo-pooed him had been poo-pooing lot of other officers who poo-pooed their poo-poos. In the end, we had to disband the regiment. Morale totally destroyed by poo-poo.

hbd

There is a kernel of truth embedded in this anecdote.

Almost! "If we all work poop together..."

Since fully committing to veganism a week or two ago, my shits have all been type 6 or 7

But at least they're ethical shits

Yesterday's Stool Elicited Mopping

Sorry, wrong thread.

i ate cevape the other day and got constipated for the first time in like forever

last week i had some type 7 for an evening but for the most part it's been pretty unremarkable. except i still get blood every few weeks but apparently it's no big deal :shrug:

what does the doc say?

butt elves

there's a cool philosophical discussion in the middle pages of this thread, like an undigested corn kernel deep in a large type 3-4 turd rope.

i've been changing my diet and trying some different protein bars and some of them have like 18g of fiber, plus i had generic fiber one one night plus general vegetables etc. and i i had a poop wider than a soda can the other day. how is that even possible. while i was doing it i could feel how big it was and was trying to strategize getting it out and ultimately i just went for it and it didn't hurt too much, but i knew i had to look at it cuz it was going to be gargantuan. waayyyy too much fiber, i thought i was gonna die, and then a lot of blood for a day or so after.

someone else talk about their poops please

every time i eat lentils i fart a lot. i go on these long walks and just keep pooting along. sometimes a jogger will come up behind me and i won't them because of OM or ALCEST or BORIS in my ears and wham, i hit them with a flatulence cloud.

lol

ive hard blood on the toilet paper but i think it was from ANAL FISSURES

Tucks medicated pads are good for both clean/soothing your booty if you have hemroids

Fully endorsed, but they are butt ton expensive so use sparingly

that's not very nice.

i had painful ones like 15 years ago but these days they are internal and cause no pain thankfully.

when i had the other ones i used this product

hydrocortisone specially packaged for your booty

well what am i supposed to do, walk around with my sphincter clenched and my colon full of gas? i try to turn around from time to time to check if anyone is coming up on my trail but that just looks weird. so i unleash, and if they perish, they perish.

del

so sorry reprise. god. fuck that dude you should track him down and kill him.

i have definitely pondered that but not lately.

any news from the fbi guy?

no, and i'm not expecting anything. if he gets caught it won't have anything to do with me most likely

Ever had a poop that looked like a really buff version of the Michelin Man?

only in the sense that it spoke to me

I have been suffering chronic diarrhoea for over a month.

:'(

mhmm....



sexy

go to the doctor bro

They're gonna ask for a sample when you go, preferably at least a quart, for tests

Why though, this is perfectly healthy i'm sure yes?

This is just a boy's period. The body has to let it all out once in a while

for a month? what kinda periods you havin, bruh

Monthly month-long periods. Did your father not tell you once you got into puberty?

or at least, Took's father?

Perhaps you simply need to ask WHO or USAID to send you a life-saving formula

I dunno if they only do this for underprivileged kids in third-world countries so it might be good to ask in a high voice and ambiguous accent

whose you're deaddy?