yeah too much fiber does it for me

but they say it's good

i heard the japanese think you should do it after every meal
sort of like brushing your teeth

past 2 days there's been pain and blood.

Last night I had some crabs and this morning I woke up with terrible stomach/intestinal cramps. During my shower I suddenly had to shit so bad I had to leap out of the tub and onto the toilet. I just made it. I could describe it as explosive diarrhea but that really does not convey the magnitude of what occurred.

i've been having to force mine, lately -- it's been a while since i've had an urgent situation. if i do, i usually have to hold it cause i'm at a customer's house or on a job site w/o a toilet. probably not the best practice, but such is life.

i know to be healthy you have to go at least once a day.

My shits have been fairly large as of lately.

I usually only go once a day in the morning. If I have a big lunch maybe once in the late afternoon but that's about it. I know a guy who goes like a half an hour to an hour after he eats like clockwork. That seems a bit odd to me but at least he knows to expect it.

two type 4's and a type 6

Just executed the gnarliest shit I've had for a long time.

It was #5 briefly to begin with, then accellerated into #6 territory before veering suddenly to a #7. It felt like my balls were in a vice during the #6 phase, and in the #7 phase my asshole was shooting like a fucking Super Soaker.

I've been having the stinkiest shits and farts lately. This happens every time I change the place I live in.

The worst was the last time I lived in Korea. I love kimchi and delved deep as soon as I got back.

For the first two months or so I was farting constantly. I shit you not (no pun intended), I was farting every 15 minutes or so, and these were massive, prolonged farts that sounded like the trumpet blasts that will emanate at the second coming of the Christ LORD.

It was fun to do when I was going on my evening strolls, but it was rather troublesome to keep them contained while teaching. A repressed fart is a very strange thing (feels like you're farting up your rectum).

I find that the crappier (no pun intended) the quality of food I eat, the worse / bigger the poo is. In other words: A salad and some Baked Lays? Dainty. Mozzarella sticks and french fries? By the time I am done my legs hurt and I might be sweating.

Hott.

ASL?

i'm glad this got bumped.

fartyness happens when you change diets, it's your body getting accustomed to the new diet.

when i switched to hummus/vegetable lunches HOLY GOD DUDE. the morning after gas is UNBELIEVABLE and then I would crap like fucking crazy because all the veggies and hummus were cleaning my system out.

back in college i'd eat richly until i ran out of money, then i'd eat just basically crap. when i'd get another month of money to spend i'd go right back to eating out and man i was gassy as fuck those first few days of that.

just dropped a type 5 or 6, couldn't really tell. it all happened so fast. i had to flush pretty quickly to prevent the release of a pervasive stink into the rest of the cafe

oh fuck I remember this. I didn't eat crab again until recently because of this experience.

Just now I took a shit, pretty firm and malleable, you know, the standard, except there was a lot of blood:erm:

what do

please classify your recent shit by selecting a type on the bristol stool scale

i had a turdrope in the morning first thing it made me feel lighter, then i started getting gassy and i made a huge pile of fluffy little shit dollops and boy those smell REAL BAD

the past two months have been a roller coaster for me. a recent change in diet without paying attention to the fiber intake took me down to type 5 town for a couple weeks. then i caught that virus, my appetite suffered and they put me on some serious antibiotics and then i was livin' on the 7th layer so to speak for about two weeks.

finally recovered and now i've been sittin pretty around 2's and 3's for the past two weeks. however, i think the pure liquid bowel movements left me with a shitty souvenir: a hemerrhoid!

by the way, how satisfying is it to wipe your ass, look at the toilet paper and see no shit on it.

just showed this thread to my gf and she said "all this talka bout shit makes me wanna shit."

now she's in the shitter playing Pokemon.

ruby edition.

I would say it was a 3 but with enough blood to make it look like a shit floating in a big shirley temple

keeper

.

don't judge me!

no worries. i still think you're pretty cool.

everyone poops, you know.

type 6. too much raisin bran. not pleasant at all.

nothing memorable just now, but i did finish the sunday crossword

two stunning, lifechanging turdropes today. Eating vegetables means sitting on the can is a joy.

Just finished off a two-wiper. Fucking godly.

type four, probably brought on by chugging a cup of coffee this morning. i'm glad to have that out.