cash is king, but i am trying to think about something small and thoughtful a carrier would find useful to accompany it. i thought about liquor, but that might get them in trouble. luckily we can see our mailbox from the front window so we can catch the guy if we want.

maybe you can leave the gift in your mailbox with a note saying it's for them.

C33 has a daughter and he named her after me. little smashingjj is growing up fast.

*edit gonna check urban dictionary

Goddamn, I hate receiving free things for holidays I don't celebrate

one time i gave my mailman a bunch of radishes. old white dudes love radishes. it's like their healthy heroin

just do it some time between thanksgiving and xmas to avoid any presumptions. plus, if they DO celebrate the holidays, they've got a little extra spending money for gifts, food, or whatnot.

win win win win win

as someone who does a lot of mail order, i stand behind this. For years I've slipped a fiver in the mailbox every few months and also tip my mail counter people around the same.

if you're a jerk like me who is there every other day at least maybe they remember your face/name/street #

call me small time but i think being on a first name basis with your mail crew is super cool

shouts out denise, rhonda, and brian

i love the mail so much

As my time here draws to a close (three months was too short, like your dad's dong lol), I want to share with you my comrades a couple of songs I sung whilst gallumphing about the alleys of Turkic-land.



(To be sung at dinner-time, with fists pounding the table.)

FALAFEL DURUM

I want!
FALAFEL DURUM
I crave!
FALAFEL DURUM
I need!
FALAFEL DURUM
Give me!
FALAFEL DURUM

Durum! Durum!
FALAFEL DURUM
Durum! Durum!
FALAFEL DURUM
Durum! Durum!
FALAFEL DURUM
Durum! Durum!
FALAFEL DURUM




(This is a mumble rap.)

MERHABA

Merhaba, Merhaba,
Merhaba, Merhaba,
Merhaba, Merhaba,
Merhaba, Merhaba,
Merhaba, Merhaba,
Merhaba, Merhaba,
Merhaba, Merhaba,
Oy!

(Repeat 20x)

wow, how'd you get a leak of those two unreleased Cyr songs?

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:













:hanging:

Diego Maradona doing match-winning lines of coke off his hand IN HELL

Australian scientists have recently published a groundbreaking article where they show the real cause of why your manhood is not big enough.

It has nothing to do with age or the fact that God made you this way…

In fact, the answer is so shocking, once you understand how this works, you will join over 32,000 men who unlocked the secret for explosive growth.

For a short period of time, you can find it here...

It’s unlike anything you’ve seen before, because this goes directly to the root cause of your problem.

It takes just a few seconds a day and it’s all natural, 0% invasive.

There is just one thing left to mention.

You need to hurry, because according to the same study, for some men it might already be too late.

So just take a look and see if you qualify for this.

halfway quit my third job today. it's one thing to get paid 11/hr to do work professionals charge 30/hr+ to do while boss woman spends hundreds of thousands of dollars on useless, poorly conceived and poorly executed "improvements," but now i'm supposed to share my work space with the cool but chronically maskless "litter crew" all winter. so i got pissed and left at noon without telling anyone. thinking about offering to change my hours to saturday-sunday when i'd get to work alone. usually i don't like working weekends because that's when my wife is off but now her work is moving to one week on-one week "work from home" so that's not much of a concern.

it would be easier if my boss wasn't really nice and sweet on top of being incompetent and exasperating.

why would you quit three jobs in one day?


??

the worst part of being my own boss is I can't really quit...

the worst part of being my own boss is i need two other jobs to pay the mortgage

Gotta pull those bootstraps harder

everything would be fine if the establishment hadn't stolen the election.

Thanks Obama

I just tried peeling an orange with my thumbnail. The rind was too strong and it wounded my thumb under the nail.

I am in pain.

Also, I love empenadas.

Empenadas: es delicioso!

There’s a special sting to that citrus when it gets into the rare pink rawparts underneath the nails yes

What varieties of emp' are you laying into, Tookler?

I had a profound conversation with this older senor at the top of the hill.


ME: Buenas tardes.
SENOR: Buenas tardes. Como estas?
ME: Si. Gracias.
SENOR: OK.

lol

I don't know. I just bumped into these dudes in a park. They were smoking a joint that looked like it had three or four grams in it. They just gave me half a gram and refused to accept payment.

It looks like street regs. Maybe 10%? Dry little buds, some sticks, no seeds. I have no tolerance whatsoever so I got high for three hours last night off two hits.

The first 20 minutes of Wolfwalkers was a VERY emotional experience, lololol.

wolfwalkers is playing at my cinema actually, or it was. should give it a look then

where are you now, white boi?

I am confused by this.

1.) Are you in Spain?
2.) Do they now refer to cannabis as empanadas there?

he's in medellin, columbia.

and maybe there was some confusion between the fairly similar emp' and 'emp?

Yes, I thought he meant weed. The empanadas I've had so far have been with chicken or beef I think.

I think I'm losing my mind. I lost my lounging shorts (I spend a lot of time in bed). I searched the entire 3 by 5 meters of my hotel cell and ransacked my 10 articles of clothing (excluding socks and panties ofc), but to no avail.

Then last night I go high and started thinking the hotel staff stole them on purpose to fuck with me. But they are always so polite and smiley. Surely they wouldn't? But what if they googled my name ... Shit. Or maybe I threw them out with the basura? How would I miss my shorts in a plastic bag though? Maybe I am possessed? Or God gave Satan permission to mess with my mind, like if I was an evil Job?

What does this mean? What is even real?!? :confused::confused::confused::confused:

^ buena idea ^


the story is a little weak in places but the animation is the best by far of what they've done.

maybe your shorts are inside one of your socks?
maybe you are wearing your shorts? maybe you are wearing them on your head?
have you checked the ceiling?

maybe there never were any lounging shorts and it was all a dream.

Those are all good possibilities.

Maybe they ran away?

Maybe I ate them?


WHERE ARE MY SHORTS

What's Colombia like and will you make it outside of the city at all?

I don't know about the rest of the country, but Medellin is really nice. It is near the equator but 1,500 meters up in the Andes so the weather is spring like all year long (hence, La Ciudad de la Eterna Primavera). In the part where I am staying, Los Colores, there is a park on just about every block and buttloads of flowers and birds and shit. PUBLIC CONSUMPTION OF CANNABIS IS LEGAL. The ppl seem pretty chill. Nobody stares at me for centuries like they did in Turkey. And Medellin has a metro and cable cars. Walking around was difficult at first. I went for a five hour walk the second day I got here and after it was like I had been beaten all over. The UV light is also hella strong so my forehead go burned.

I think I am just going to stay here for three months. In Turkey I stayed in four different cities so this time I will just stay put. Might head out to Guatape for a couple of days (resort town so hotels are hella expensive).

Guatape:

btw have you seen my shorts?