Netphoria Message Board

Netphoria Message Board (http://forums.netphoria.org/index.php)
-   General Chat Message Board (http://forums.netphoria.org/forumdisplay.php?f=7)
-   -   Rolling "Shits Recently Taken" Thread (http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=159238)

yo soy el mejor 08-07-2011 11:39 AM

you don't chug coffee, timberly!

mxzombie 08-07-2011 11:41 AM

i had to because i was late! spent all morning cooking my breakfast and making a lunch to bring to work, then i didn't have time to eat it so i had to bring my breakfast and eat that during a break! it was oatmeal, with blueberries. pretty delicious.

teh b0lly!!1 08-09-2011 09:17 AM

i hate it when you kind of sit around and fart because you can't be bothered to go to the bathroom, and then when you do go there's nothing there.
it's kinda like when the villain chases somebody in old horror movies and suddenly disappears, only to show up behind you in the least comfortable moment going "IM COMIN OUT NOW!!!!!".
i mean "BOO".

Mooney 08-09-2011 09:41 AM

i got a feeling that this coffee and cigarette are going to lead to a type 3 very shortly. if i forget to report back just assume it was type 3.

Trotskilicious 08-09-2011 08:16 PM

since i've fundamentally changed my diet, eating breakfast and fruits and vegetables and eschewing fast food and avoiding carbs my dumps have been consistently wonderful and make me smile on the pot after a gargantuan turdrope slides effortlessly out of my rectum

D. 08-09-2011 08:28 PM

no joke. changing my diet was the best thing to ever happen to my ass.

Shallowed 11-11-2011 05:13 AM

I've been shitting glorious type twos pretty consistently for the last few weeks. Strange thing is is that my current diet is the worst that it has been in my life, I'm pretty much eating processed, sugary junk food for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Duke1497 11-11-2011 09:58 AM

I usually have either a 2 or a 5

Don't you hate it when you go to take a shit, and you think its gonna be huge, but it turns out to be one giant fart?

Oh, and to the person who posted the chain letter, I haven't forwarded at least 100 of those, and im not dead yet.

Either that, or it's all building up.

If I'm gonna die by chain letter, I'd better go out with a bang

Duke1497 11-11-2011 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious (Post 3749066)
since i've fundamentally changed my diet, eating breakfast and fruits and vegetables and eschewing fast food and avoiding carbs my dumps have been consistently wonderful and make me smile on the pot after a gargantuan turdrope slides effortlessly out of my rectum

This is true, this is true.

I remember I went vegan for a week (to see what it was like), and I has the most satisfying shits I've ever had in my life. I felt like I had accomplished something when I came out of the bathroom.

God, thought I'd never post something like that in my life.

The hell is wrong with me this morning?

yo soy el mejor 11-14-2011 12:58 PM

when is someone gonna post a pic?

redbreegull 11-14-2011 06:42 PM

I had Indian food last night. For a country with no toilets, India's cuisine certainly makes for an interesting defecation experience.

Duke1497 11-15-2011 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redbreegull (Post 3789615)
I had Indian food last night. For a country with no toilets, India's cuisine certainly makes for an interesting defecation experience.

That Indian shit (no pun intended) rips your stomach apart. Must be all the curry

john's ego 05-27-2012 11:24 PM

don't close this thread trots

Shallowed 05-27-2012 11:39 PM

Hmm I think individual shits should have their own threads, it will entice more conversation.

reprise85 05-28-2012 09:38 AM

i binged on almonds like 5 days ago and since then i've only had type 1 and type 2. dont eat half a pound of almonds, guys.

TuralyonW3 05-28-2012 12:01 PM

I just took a load off that left my ring burning a little bit. And I don't think I quite got it all out. :-(

duovamp 05-28-2012 12:03 PM

Call me obsessive compulsive, but I gotta see a shit through.

reprise85 05-28-2012 12:28 PM

yeah but sometimes that isnt possible

D. 05-28-2012 12:29 PM

There's something endearing about a rolling shithread that is four years old and only four pages.

My latest was a type 3 and i wasn't that satisfied with it.

reprise85 05-28-2012 12:40 PM

I have to agree with several posts in this thread, now that I eat like 12 servings of veggies a day and a lot of fiber I go basically after every meal and sometimes in the morning too. And before this almond deal they were always 3-5s. It's a nice feeling to know that your digestive system is functioning optimally.

I had really bad IBS for years and I had 6s like 20 minutes after I ate like 9 times out of 10. I don't know how I lived like that.

Bread Regal 12-18-2013 10:25 AM

must have taken the biggest shit of my life not more than 10 minutes ago. dropped the wife off at work, grabbed a red bull on the way home, and it quickly became an emergency. i didn't have time to weight myself before evacuating, but it was a massive shit. wish i had a picture. it was lovely.

type 3.

reprise85 12-18-2013 04:04 PM

love this thread.

redbreegull 12-18-2013 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redbreegull (Post 3517851)
Last night I had some crabs and this morning I woke up with terrible stomach/intestinal cramps. During my shower I suddenly had to shit so bad I had to leap out of the tub and onto the toilet. I just made it. I could describe it as explosive diarrhea but that really does not convey the magnitude of what occurred.

I am still traumatized by this experience and think about it sometimes.

reprise85 12-19-2013 02:52 AM

i've been having type 1s with a touch of type 2 all day. i took some stool softener. type 4 here i come.

killtrocity 12-19-2013 03:14 AM

I was talking with a colleague from China yesterday and made a reference to "the turtle popping its head out" describing a turd that has crested and needs immediate attention - I believe some also refer to this as "prairie dogging it". Anyway he was utterly confused and is probably still trying to figure out what the hell I was talking about. To explain in detail a turd sticking out of an asshole though was just too awkward. But god damnit the confused expression on his face was priceless

mxzombie 12-19-2013 07:46 PM

i was very close to taking a picture of the dump i took at work today. it was a type 3 or 4. i don't think i'm ready to publicize that, though.

Trotskilicious 12-19-2013 07:48 PM

yah sometimes it's such a big rope you want to show someone what you made

mxzombie 12-19-2013 08:14 PM

it's a kind of pride that SOCIETY forces you to stifle

redbreegull 12-19-2013 08:18 PM

in my dorm in college I went to the bathroom once and discovered an ENERMOUS turd in the toilet, and this poor bastard kept trying to flush it down. I was like holy shit dude, did you do that? "Yep." This monster was literally the length and girth of a thermos, I have never seen anything like it. He went on to explain to me that he was on a new diet. the real kicker is that his last name was Bouslog.

reprise85 12-19-2013 09:30 PM

Yesterday, at work, I went into the employee bathroom in the back of the store. I rarely go in there, since I work in the front, but just happened to be back there. One of the toilets was just flushing constantly, with no stopping. Perpetual flush with no ebbing or flowing, just constant mid-flush kind of flushing. I really had to pee, so I went in the other stall and was planning on telling a manager when I got out. Meanwhile, a co-worker comes in and says "what the fuck?" and I start laughing hysterically.

It was really odd.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:49 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Smashing Pumpkins, Alternative Music
& General Discussion Message Board and Forums
www.netphoria.org - Copyright 1998-2022