that's just a function of a small toilet. you'll feel humbled the next time you climb on a big boy and your penis spins around like a clapper in an oversized bell, doomed to never reach its perimeter target

Just when I thought I couldn't hate this thread more

My toilet's been bonkers lately. No flush power. I'm hitting the button multiple times.

I need to see a gastroenterologist

my ass has been a lot better since i washed it

I just miss being able to step back and admire the horse pile

now i'm flushing in intervals

*what have i become/my sweetest friend*

i am stuck on the can

the chipotle was spicer than usual last night

i do not forsee a happy ending

a burning turd is lodged stuck amid my gaping orifice

hope this half roll of TP is sufficient.

not sure i'll be able to pinch off but i gotta go to work

my butthole has seized up again. this hasn't happened since i first saw timothee chalamet fuck a peach in "call me by your name." this time i haven't been watching any gay shit or anything.

my empire of night soil

i feel again i have to poop,
so to the can i plod,
shoulders slouched
resigned, aloof.
suspecting yet
more spinchter fraud.

it happens every day, you see,
and all of each day too:
my ass will whisper
"empty me"
but when i push,
no shit, no poo.

dear god: why hath thou sentenced me
to so much toilet time?
doomed to sit
yet merely pee,
a tortured
straining mime?

Yall are constipated

That or had too much cheese check if your lacto

or in my case too much kratom

born to shit, forced to wipe

Shitting after a course of antibiotics really sucks.

warms my cockles to see this on page 1

netphoria's most successful thread?

more at 11

Got rocked by a fucking 7 today

get a bidet, loser!

Ate Cambodian food 2 days in a row... Now i'm paying the price

make that three days... had some leftovers

after taking a poop and wiping, I stood up to inspect the delivered payload before flushing (I always do this. it's a thing).

and there was this weird little red fragment on the seat, right where the top of my buttcrack rests. it looked like dried chili pepper or something. what was it? dried blood? dried poop? congealed gochujang? looked kinda tasty but I resisted (not even a sniff) and wiped it off and flushed it away with the rest.

:confused:

Could've been worth money. Shouldn't have flushed it.

You tasted it didn't you? You know what that was

i took a picture of an impressive poop the other day but i haven't found anyone to show yet. i told my friend i did it but she didn't wanna see but i know she was curious.

this is a classic "pics or it didn't happen" situation

i still have it on my phone so that must mean i could show it one day. i'm just not there yet.

sometimes i can't fathom how certain turds form and come out so long when i'm so short and be sitting down a bunch. you'd think my guts would snap anything in half. shit's crazy

y'all ever used a whole roll on one go?

Always, just to be sure!

people are flushing the toilet 10, 15 times