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-   -   Rolling "Shits Recently Taken" Thread (http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=159238)

reprise85 06-07-2022 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shallowed (Post 4594591)
one doctor I saw said my IBS was caused by anxiety, and if i managed my anxiety then it would help with my IBS

MOTHER FUCKER, my anxiety is caused by IBS, amongst a squillion different other things, almost all of which i am in no position to manage, including, apparently, my IBS

but yeah sure treating anxiety is much easier than treating IBS that hasn't killed me yet

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shallowed (Post 4594591)
one doctor I saw said my IBS was caused by anxiety, and if i managed my anxiety then it would help with my IBS

MOTHER FUCKER, my anxiety is caused by IBS, amongst a squillion different other things, almost all of which i am in no position to manage, including, apparently, my IBS

but yeah sure treating anxiety is much easier than treating IBS that hasn't killed me yet

I had bad IBS for a long time and as a kid I got the same response from doctors. They do have medicine for it and when I saw a doc as an adult I got some. I had IBS-D so I took hyoscyamine. Not sure what they'd do for people with mixed type or IBS-C, but it did help a lot. I also had an ulcer. Which they found when they did a colonoscopy/endoscopy, which they should absolutely be doing for you. They cannot rule out IBDs without doing those and those are generally progressive and can actually be serious without treatment. It is PROBABLY not one of those but I can't believe they wouldn't scope you to rule them out.

Mine definitely was anxiety-related and I still have it a bit, but just because it's caused by something else and won't kill you doesn't mean you can't treat the terrible symptoms. Maybe they just treat it more seriously in the states? When I've had recurrences they've even scoped me again to make sure it was still just IBS.

Shallowed 06-08-2022 08:36 AM

visited my therapist for the first time in a few months and she agrees, shit's fucked

ovary 06-08-2022 09:08 PM

some days i shit like five times before 1pm

recently i have been telling myself, when the urge strikes, "no, you don't need to poop" and then i go do something else and then i don't poop.

slunken 06-11-2022 10:44 AM

just had a massive one

rare AM

very clean. 3 wipes.

mxzombie 06-14-2022 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slunken (Post 4594856)
very clean. 3 wipes.

:confused:

slunken 06-14-2022 08:16 PM

don't confuse head me

there is such a thing as very clean slides

and what do you expect me to say "zero wipes"???

get fucking real

slunken 06-14-2022 08:17 PM

riddle me this - if it's zero wipes how do you know????

Shallowed 06-14-2022 09:55 PM

belief in oneself

slunken 06-14-2022 10:15 PM

the impossible is possible tonight

what the if the song...

slunken 06-14-2022 10:15 PM

don't make me type it

mxzombie 06-16-2022 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slunken (Post 4595045)
don't confuse head me

there is such a thing as very clean slides

and what do you expect me to say "zero wipes"???

get fucking real

one wipe to confirm clean butt.

i'm also not on board with bidets. what do you do once you wet your buttcrack up? air dry? use toilet paper to mop it up? sounds like more work to me. maybe i'm missing something.

slunken 06-16-2022 10:12 PM


teh b0lly!!1 06-27-2022 05:55 AM

had a holy one today

I think I can't have milk coffee anymore

10/10

FoolofaTook 12-07-2022 07:05 AM

tramadol is making me hella constipated


also my farts are very powerful and gusty and smell like burnt popcorn, which kinda makes me ... hungry?


:think:

mxzombie 12-07-2022 11:27 AM

i've heard farts are just your body's way of saying, "hey, there's room for more"

FoolofaTook 12-10-2022 09:10 PM

Just a quick update:

I've started defecating again, first with pain and now with ease, so that's something.

But now my farts smell like wet straw / rotten eggplants.



:( I just can't win.

redbreegull 12-11-2022 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FoolofaTook (Post 4611972)
tramadol is making me hella constipated


also my farts are very powerful and gusty and smell like burnt popcorn, which kinda makes me ... hungry?


:think:

if the tramadol is making you feel ill, I'm sure I could get rid of it somehow for you

Toby 12-21-2022 12:15 AM

Having a nice poo rn....then a hot shower.

ovary 12-30-2022 10:36 PM

let me tell all y'all wee lil' kissers the story of how i learned to clean my ass.

it all began two summers past in my thirty-first year, you see. a lilthe and moon-skinned young lass from edinburgh was staying the fortnight at our little farm. and one afternoon i'll never forget it she stepped out of the shower wearing naught but a towel, her short crop of hair dripping slightly with the dewy shower water. as she stepped soft through the house i was sitting there in the kitchen conversing with my wife about the red and rashy state of my sorry arse, a problem which was now plodding through its fifth straight day of trouble. and this scottish lass she leaned over toward me her towel slipping slightly as she near-whispered well, she whispered, when was the last time you washed your ass?

and i answered that i had never in my life truly washed my back hole. not a real deep wash with a cloth and soap and it all. for all these years the only washing i'd done is to spread the cheeks in the shower and let the hot water drip do. both women were aghast at this admission. i felt real shame.

i knew then that clearly my whole ass-cheek-shower-spread-strategy was no longer sufficient. that night i soaped and rubbed and, good god, (for He was good to me then) the rash cleared up like the tall desert sky after a roaring dust storm.

now today again my ass burns like hell and so i'll go ahead and wash it before bed. and as i do, as always now, i'll be considerin' that fine toweled bird, her lithe long legs and her dappled dewy skin and her welcome, wise words.

reprise85 12-31-2022 11:11 AM

I read about this on Reddit, how people don't wash their ass. Welcome to the clean side my friend.

ilikeplanets 12-31-2022 04:38 PM

Failing to understand any explanation as to why someone wouldn't wash their behind ever....?

ilikeplanets 12-31-2022 04:39 PM

If any place NEEDS soap and scrubbing, that's the one!

FoolofaTook 12-31-2022 06:08 PM

Just took (oye!) a very strange dump.

The turds were plump, round, and quite large, yet they slid twixt the cool lavatorial waves with nary a plop, plimp, or pliss, like silken smooth otters ...




beautiful little turds! oh how I cherish your rectal birth! thank you! thank you!

phang 12-31-2022 06:47 PM

Unwashed ass has a really particular smell, not strictly 100% shit, but a knowing smell. It's absolutely grim.

Also people who apparantly don't wash their legs in the shower. What the fuck?

I can excuse people smelling ripe after a days work or whatever else, but man. Get and wash ASAP, you should fucking WANT to do it, not be forced or whatever.

ilikeplanets 12-31-2022 06:55 PM

I've also never heard of not washing your legs. Maybe I just know clean people? Why would you skip a body part?

FlamingGlobes 01-04-2023 02:30 PM



ngl it was a doozy

FlamingGlobes 01-04-2023 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ilikeplanets (Post 4614091)
I've also never heard of not washing your legs. Maybe I just know clean people? Why would you skip a body part?


ovary 08-02-2023 09:33 AM

i think i may need to wash my ass again. toilet paper has been bloody for days now. and last night the burning began again

yo soy el mejor 08-02-2023 09:53 AM

i always wash my legs! i love a good exfoliation

but i pay extra attention to joint areas because a couple of white jerks in my childhood mentioned my knees were dark and gross. i was not afraid of getting dirty at recess and was naturally darker. i remember scrubbing the shit out of my knees as a kid in the shower

i would not scrub my butt-hole, though...even now. just let soapy water run down it and use your hands a bit without sticking fingers all the way in.

ovary, you might be on your period or have a busted hemorrhoid

Elijah Moon 08-02-2023 12:34 PM

I think I'm quite lucky because most of my close relatives have gastrointestinal issues, IBS and so on, and plus the medication I take is notorious for causing constipation/blockages, yet I'm normally as regular as clockwork with no real complications, and it's also very rare I get an upset stomach of any kind.

yo soy el mejor 08-02-2023 12:35 PM

what does that say about ur poop and anus?

Elijah Moon 08-02-2023 12:40 PM

It says everything about them!

ovary 08-02-2023 07:09 PM

my wife and i were walking down the road and she had to shit so bad we turned around but we didn't make it home. she shit in the trees

MyOneAndOnly 08-02-2023 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes (Post 4614315)

I loved that show.

MyOneAndOnly 08-02-2023 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ovary (Post 4630336)
my wife and i were walking down the road and she had to shit so bad we turned around but we didn't make it home. she shit in the trees

better the trees than her pants

redbreegull 08-02-2023 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MyOneAndOnly (Post 4630338)
I loved that show.

great show, I hated the ending

MyOneAndOnly 08-02-2023 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redbreegull (Post 4630340)
great show, I hated the ending

how else should it end?

redbreegull 08-02-2023 10:15 PM

I can't say, I support the writer's strike :)

MyOneAndOnly 08-02-2023 10:28 PM

as a partaker of dysfunctional co dependent relationships, i thought it ended better than most of my own have.

I kind of like that they agree that they're both fucked up and it'll prolly end badly

ovary 08-05-2023 09:07 AM

you know when you're taking a shit and your dick flops down and slaps the inside of the bowl? how have we not developed toilet technology to combat this???


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