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FoolofaTook 12-17-2019 07:53 PM

bought some street food yesterday and since then ive been feeling like utter shit and shitting utter liquid.

almost out of toilet paper but feeling too shitty to get some more from the store.

there is, however, the spraygun that muslims use. time for a rectal blast?

:D

FoolofaTook 12-17-2019 07:53 PM

this is what is known as a "silver lining"

Mals Marola 12-17-2019 08:08 PM

i wish i could put a thread on my ignore list

FoolofaTook 12-17-2019 08:19 PM

yeah i know the jimmy eat world thread is brutal

FoolofaTook 12-18-2019 02:49 AM

Are You Walking Around With Dirty Anus? A Guide To Good Butt Hygiene

Talking about good butt hygiene is a taboo in our society, and we need to change it as millions of people walk around with dirty anuses every day. Individuals need to understand that wiping with dry toilet paper doesnít equivalent to cleaning. You wouldnít shower with a dry towel; why do you think that dry toilet paper cleans you?

Look at it this way: You were eating melted chocolate, and now your face and hands are dirty with melted chocolate. Would you use just dry paper to clean your face and hands or would you wash also?

But beside this, why is good butt hygiene important?

Reduces risks of spreading E.coli and other bacteria to intimate area. It is estimated that 60 to 70% of women will experience at least one episode of urinary tract infection (UTI) during their lifetime. UTI is caused by bacteria that come from the perineum and anal area.

Keeps the underwear clean. If you work out or live in a humid environment, then your sweat flows down your spine and spreads the shit and bacteria to your underwear and thighs.

Bad personal hygiene is number 1 turn off for both sexes.

In history, people used to have a moisturizing component like water + soap or water and oil for cleaning and used paper for drying. Dry toilet paper became popular during world wars as water was scarce in trenches and front line. Recently people in western societies have started to realize that using just paper is bad hygiene. This has brought a surge of adults who are using baby wipes to clean themselves. Wet wipes do the job, but unfortunately cause a lot of problems for the environment (killing marine life, littering beaches) and wrecking sewers all over the world and are also quite expensive to use daily. In 2015 The Guardian called the wet wipes the biggest villain of the year, and from that point, the situation only has gotten worst. Nowadays there are legal cases in US and UK to ban the selling of flushable wet wipes as experts say they are not flushable.

What are the options:

Taking a full body shower. An excellent option that we recommend if you have time and option to use it after taking number 2. It is advised to use soap to wash and a special cream also afterward as water alone doesnít clean and dries the skin.

Bidet: A good option if full body shower is not possible. It is advised to use soap to wash and a special cream also afterward as water alone doesnít clean and also dries the skin.

Wet Wipes: Does the job, but please help to keep the environment and marine life alive and throw the dirty wet wipe to the trash bin and not into the toilet. Read more: Are flushable wet wipes flushable?

Gel Wipe: If you donít want to take a shower every time or are traveling or hiking, then itís a perfect solution. It cleans and disinfects thanks to the small amount of pure alcohol in it and thereís also a bit of panthenol to moisturize and soothes skin. It can also be used on children under age of 3 as an alternative to baby wipes.

Use just dry toilet paper: A good option if you donít care about hygiene and walking around with dirty anus is fine for you.

FoolofaTook 12-19-2019 06:51 PM

well the poop has solidified more or less but i am still taking hella frequent dumps (four in an hour since waking). also whenever i eat something it feels like a rock in my gut.

Shallowed 12-19-2019 09:46 PM

In a dream we are connected

Siamese twins

at the anus

FoolofaTook 12-19-2019 10:19 PM

so i got some antibiotics and anti-diarrhea pills for five days. they cost: 9 bucks.

god bless SE Asia.

FoolofaTook 12-19-2019 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shallowed (Post 4524900)
In a dream we are connected

Siamese twins

at the anus

I chose an eternity of shit
Like falling feces
The toilet bowl disappeared
Laughing into the poop
Is it always like this?
Flesh and blood and the first dump
The first feces
The first dump
We writhed under a shit storm
Voodoo crap
Siamese twins
I sit on the toilet and strain for an hour
Then everything falls apart
Broken inside me
It falls apart

FoolofaTook 12-22-2019 09:33 PM

i took a solid dump today, with honest-to-goodness turds


FlamingGlobes 03-25-2020 08:36 AM

I've made big boys every morning since getting back from Florida two weeks ago. I think not going to work is helping my routine. That, and the increase in kale and nuts to do my diet.

Thanks for attending my TED Talk.

FlamingGlobes 03-25-2020 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FoolofaTook (Post 4524711)
yeah i know the jimmy eat world thread is brutal

Hey! Shut up, asshole!

FoolofaTook 03-25-2020 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes (Post 4534663)
I've made big boys every morning since getting back from Florida two weeks ago. I think not going to work is helping my routine. That, and the increase in kale and nuts to do my diet.

Thanks for attending my TED Talk.


oh and here i thought your "prayer meeting" with my dad might of widened your rectal canal a bit

FlamingGlobes 03-25-2020 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by reprise85 (Post 4513758)
Ever had a poop that looked like a really buff version of the Michelin Man?


FlamingGlobes 03-25-2020 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FoolofaTook (Post 4534665)
oh and here i thought your "prayer meeting" with my dad might of widened your rectal canal a bit

No, but the prayers usually end with clapping.

Take that to mean what you will.

FoolofaTook 03-25-2020 09:20 AM


FoolofaTook 03-25-2020 09:22 AM


buzzard 03-25-2020 03:23 PM


FlamingGlobes 03-25-2020 04:06 PM

Someone's turtleheading...

Joey Goldberg 03-25-2020 04:09 PM

low blow, flameglo

low blow

Joey Goldberg 03-25-2020 04:09 PM


topleybird 03-25-2020 04:15 PM

Obligatory mention that they were filming that scene when 9/11 happened and they had a moment of silence before going back into it

Joey Goldberg 03-25-2020 04:17 PM

I'm genuinely glad I know that now, thank you

FlamingGlobes 03-25-2020 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by topleybird (Post 4534785)
Obligatory mention that they were filming that scene when 9/11 happened and they had a moment of silence before going back into it

But why is Mitch giving the thumbs up then?

Joey Goldberg 03-25-2020 04:22 PM

i think you know why

FlamingGlobes 03-25-2020 04:34 PM

... because he made a big boy?

FlamingGlobes 03-25-2020 04:34 PM

Jet fuel can't melt toilet bowls.

SuckSuckStyle 03-25-2020 08:21 PM

haven't been eating much. only had a smoothie one day. the next day (yesterday) i shit 4 times.

FlamingGlobes 04-09-2020 10:38 AM

I just made a perfectly formed, foot and a half long "J" in the bathroom at work.

Thanks for attending my TED talk.

FoolofaTook 04-09-2020 10:48 AM

Was that for me, Smashingjj, or "Big-J" Whatcolour?

FlamingGlobes 04-09-2020 11:00 AM

Quote:

This message can't be viewed because FoolofaTook is in your ignore list
.

FoolofaTook 04-09-2020 11:01 AM

:(

mxzombie 04-09-2020 01:35 PM

back on topic everyone.


i started this thread nearly 12 years ago today.

FoolofaTook 04-09-2020 03:21 PM

Most likely true. Does not matter. More a symptom of a sick, mad world

FlamingGlobes 04-09-2020 03:24 PM

Quote:

This message can't be viewed because FoolofaTook is in your ignore list
.

FlamingGlobes 04-09-2020 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mxzombie (Post 4538003)
back on topic everyone.


i started this thread nearly 12 years ago today.

I released another nugget later in the afternoon.

Dotting the 'j'.

FoolofaTook 04-12-2020 12:08 PM


FoolofaTook 05-04-2020 09:08 AM

I ate a buttload of habanero salsa last night and this morning my bootyhole's burning like Waco.

FoolofaTook 05-04-2020 07:04 PM

i ate more of the salsa. then i drank a shit-ton of coffee. the anal inferno continues!


and it burns, burns, burns, that ring of fire

MyOneAndOnly 05-04-2020 07:48 PM

I did the Paqui chip challenge this past winter. The stomach cramps from it nearly made me pass out. What it does to the lower intestines and bowel is truly horrifying.


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