some of my best friends are white women
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i had a dream last night that my wife divorced me and married don jr in a posh downtown chicago street wedding, to which i showed up, got drunk, and shot my mother in the head. :erm:
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Inspiring
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my mom is my white woman boss
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last night i dreamed i got 68 percent on my midterm. also my hair was short.
i woke up shuddering with horror. |
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It's really the best judge of character we have
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You really made me look at Neptune, because I was like Neptune wtf, it’s a nothing planet but actually, it’s pretty good.
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It's my ruler
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I got the shower doors that caved in on me fixed and I can use my shower again tomorrow. Yay.
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Lined up behind Bush in airport security.
Hopefully not a bad omen. |
quick, shark them!
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Turns out that Stone Temple Pilots are with them.
Coldest move ever came when the security guy mentions Weiland to them. No lie. |
:eek:
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Just prepped a turkey meatloaf, roasted potatoes, and cabbage in under 15 minutes, already cooking. Getting fast with that knife!
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last week took a plane from Lisbon and Mari Ferrari was sitting just behind me in the plane, alone.
then she waited for the same train I was. didn't know who she was actually, just noticed she looked trendy and russian and possibly an artist. then i found out this weekend she was DJing at the Carnaval de Québec, when I saw her picture on a news feed and finally the mystery was solved. |
last week you did what with a plane??
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who, me, the tookling?
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so, anyway, i have a major crush on my human resources director. she's like 50 but very well preserved.
i want to eat her asshole. i think she knows this and does not approve. |
you're going to be a creep towards and harass a woman you work with again and spin the story on netphoria for sympathy.
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were you ballin' in the 1st class line or were they (bush and who's left of stp) in coach with the working class? |
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i only ask cause i can't stand meatloaf and none of the standard ingredients seem like they would complement turkey. i wish i liked meatloaf, though. :[ |
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i was told the security mentioned Weiland Fan to them
so which was it really? Scotty boy (rest his soul) or Big Dawg Buttcannon? |
who told you those lies?
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hmmm... Fucked by a Father i believe his name was
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no no no... Fell for a Teacher
shit! Hard-on of a Halfling? i'm drawing a blank |
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When Rossdale was done being processed, the Customs guy explained to his colleague, "Es el esposo de No Doubt." |
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