just in case anyone else was wondering

i finished the salsa.

the agony was exquisite.

Yesterday I had a poop that was so long and stiff it took three flushes before it would go down. Each time it would get stuck in the center of the bowl, resembling a zero with a slash mark through it.

Happiness is emptiness and God is dehydrated just like me.

In "I'm Me" there's a part where Weezy rhymes "heavy metallin" with "Led Zepellin."


Shit's fuckin fire.

“In February 1995, working in conjunction with nutritionists at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, I adopted a super fiber-rich diet which allowed me to successfully produce a single extruded excrement the exact length of my colon: 26 feet. I documented the extrusion at the Cranbrook-Kingswood High School Bowling Alley, Bloomfield Hills, MI, which offered a length of floor suitable for the process and measuring the results. The cathartic diet was supplemented by a high intake of Metamucil fiber substance. The weeklong endurance prior to the event was ensured by the employment of a plug specifically designed to curtail any premature excretions.”

Must spread rep.

And Lysol. So much Lysol.

this is actually pretty coll

*colon

ø

big news: i have an anal fissure

I'm so sorry ...



I told my dad to be gentle ...




:(

Fucken rad

How do i achieve this in my familys home

Oh gosh

Rub some medicine on there and go to bed. Wishing u all the best for your bottoms

i will not be treating the fissure with anything but prayer

it is quite itchy. wiping my ass is my new favorite part of the day

Overy for the love of omf

For our love of all that’s good and our love of all that’s true.....

Go to bed and rest that anus, quit jokin round online, for gods sake

i will not surrender my life to this fissure. all these people staying in bed with their fissures are just sheeple. those webmd "experts" don't know what they're talking about. fissures are no big deal, just a little itchy pain. i take a lot of vitamins so i'm sure mine won't get that bad. actually i've been doing some research online and i found some sources claiming that these "fissures" aren't even real and that the doctors just tell you you have them to get pharmaceutical kickbacks. i'm not saying i believe it totally, because my ass is fire right now, but it's an interesting perspective, really makes you think twice

I just saw a dude take a dump by a busy intersection here in Laureles. He pulls down his pants, sits down on the grill cover of a drainpipe, and poops away. He took his time too. The light must of changed at least three times until he finished (hella traffic).

you can't rush great art, or a man's bowels

OCD is a motherfucker.

Welcome to Ukraine

I don't see what's so dirty?

if you scratch the screen while you watch it you can smell it

just when i thought netphoria couldn't be any dumber, I come back and see this thread.... and you TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF

this thread is almost 13 years old

until last year I hadn't looked at netphoria for a good 17 years so the math checks out

it took you 17 years of not looking at netphoria to think, "that place couldn't get any dumber!"

then you got here, saw this thread, and realized you were wrong

or maybe I was simply making a dumb and dumber reference :rofl:

hilarious, and well executed!

been taking psyllium husk for a couple months or so. monster dumps on the reg. bowl looks like a pile of wet leaves. very satisfying 8/10 would recommend.

oldphoria

Peeing out the butt rn

the internet led me to believe my anal fissure would unfizzle on its own.

that has not happened.

still itchy and burney. hmm

sounds more like a hemorrhoid

i apologize if this has already been posted. Behold, the Lloyd Banks Turd:

that would explain my roid rage

pure LOGOS