you don't chug coffee, timberly!
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i had to because i was late! spent all morning cooking my breakfast and making a lunch to bring to work, then i didn't have time to eat it so i had to bring my breakfast and eat that during a break! it was oatmeal, with blueberries. pretty delicious.
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i hate it when you kind of sit around and fart because you can't be bothered to go to the bathroom, and then when you do go there's nothing there.
it's kinda like when the villain chases somebody in old horror movies and suddenly disappears, only to show up behind you in the least comfortable moment going "IM COMIN OUT NOW!!!!!". i mean "BOO". |
i got a feeling that this coffee and cigarette are going to lead to a type 3 very shortly. if i forget to report back just assume it was type 3.
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since i've fundamentally changed my diet, eating breakfast and fruits and vegetables and eschewing fast food and avoiding carbs my dumps have been consistently wonderful and make me smile on the pot after a gargantuan turdrope slides effortlessly out of my rectum
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no joke. changing my diet was the best thing to ever happen to my ass.
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I've been shitting glorious type twos pretty consistently for the last few weeks. Strange thing is is that my current diet is the worst that it has been in my life, I'm pretty much eating processed, sugary junk food for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
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I usually have either a 2 or a 5
Don't you hate it when you go to take a shit, and you think its gonna be huge, but it turns out to be one giant fart? Oh, and to the person who posted the chain letter, I haven't forwarded at least 100 of those, and im not dead yet. Either that, or it's all building up. If I'm gonna die by chain letter, I'd better go out with a bang |
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I remember I went vegan for a week (to see what it was like), and I has the most satisfying shits I've ever had in my life. I felt like I had accomplished something when I came out of the bathroom. God, thought I'd never post something like that in my life. The hell is wrong with me this morning? |
when is someone gonna post a pic?
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I had Indian food last night. For a country with no toilets, India's cuisine certainly makes for an interesting defecation experience.
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don't close this thread trots
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Hmm I think individual shits should have their own threads, it will entice more conversation.
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i binged on almonds like 5 days ago and since then i've only had type 1 and type 2. dont eat half a pound of almonds, guys.
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I just took a load off that left my ring burning a little bit. And I don't think I quite got it all out. :-(
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Call me obsessive compulsive, but I gotta see a shit through.
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yeah but sometimes that isnt possible
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There's something endearing about a rolling shithread that is four years old and only four pages.
My latest was a type 3 and i wasn't that satisfied with it. |
I have to agree with several posts in this thread, now that I eat like 12 servings of veggies a day and a lot of fiber I go basically after every meal and sometimes in the morning too. And before this almond deal they were always 3-5s. It's a nice feeling to know that your digestive system is functioning optimally.
I had really bad IBS for years and I had 6s like 20 minutes after I ate like 9 times out of 10. I don't know how I lived like that. |
must have taken the biggest shit of my life not more than 10 minutes ago. dropped the wife off at work, grabbed a red bull on the way home, and it quickly became an emergency. i didn't have time to weight myself before evacuating, but it was a massive shit. wish i had a picture. it was lovely.
type 3. |
love this thread.
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i've been having type 1s with a touch of type 2 all day. i took some stool softener. type 4 here i come.
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I was talking with a colleague from China yesterday and made a reference to "the turtle popping its head out" describing a turd that has crested and needs immediate attention - I believe some also refer to this as "prairie dogging it". Anyway he was utterly confused and is probably still trying to figure out what the hell I was talking about. To explain in detail a turd sticking out of an asshole though was just too awkward. But god damnit the confused expression on his face was priceless
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i was very close to taking a picture of the dump i took at work today. it was a type 3 or 4. i don't think i'm ready to publicize that, though.
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yah sometimes it's such a big rope you want to show someone what you made
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it's a kind of pride that SOCIETY forces you to stifle
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in my dorm in college I went to the bathroom once and discovered an ENERMOUS turd in the toilet, and this poor bastard kept trying to flush it down. I was like holy shit dude, did you do that? "Yep." This monster was literally the length and girth of a thermos, I have never seen anything like it. He went on to explain to me that he was on a new diet. the real kicker is that his last name was Bouslog.
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Yesterday, at work, I went into the employee bathroom in the back of the store. I rarely go in there, since I work in the front, but just happened to be back there. One of the toilets was just flushing constantly, with no stopping. Perpetual flush with no ebbing or flowing, just constant mid-flush kind of flushing. I really had to pee, so I went in the other stall and was planning on telling a manager when I got out. Meanwhile, a co-worker comes in and says "what the fuck?" and I start laughing hysterically.
It was really odd. |
you have to be kind of proud of big, comfortable dumps like you ate well that day.
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sometimes i take such a big, satisfying crap that it's like my insides are aglow for a half hour
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yeah, a week or so ago i hadn't gone in a few days and then i pooped like SO MUCH, it took a while and it was just because of the volume, it wasn't hard to pass or anything.
i just had a nice type 4. about 1ft in length, curled like a bass clef. C+, slightly enjoyable. |
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true true
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i cant poop. 4 days. took laxatives. nothing happened.
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i took some more pills and after school tomorrow im going to get some magnesium citrate if i still havent gone. and if that doesnt work you better believe i'll get an enema, not pooping sucks.
this thread is tmi-free. as in, there's no such thing as tmi. |
Not pooping is kind of a Jewish thing right reprise? ;-)
(See Portnoy's Complaint) |
im not even having pellets though :P
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