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-   -   what depression looks like (http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=180864)

The exploding boy 05-14-2014 06:14 PM

So i'm the only sad sack who gets fatter when depressed?

I hate you all (well ok I did already regardless). Last time I was 147 was pretty much precisely at the 2000 Chicago "last SP show"netphoria gathering. I'm about 197 now. And those pounds aren't going anywhere apparently.

MusicMan4 05-14-2014 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The exploding boy (Post 4060587)
So i'm the only sad sack who gets fatter when depressed?

I hate you all (well ok I did already regardless). Last time I was 147 was pretty much precisely at the 2000 Chicago "last SP show"netphoria gathering. I'm about 197 now. And those pounds aren't going anywhere apparently.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Aeris Hilton (Post 4060468)
I binge eat to self medicate my depression so obviously it is way in the other direction


kelsome 05-14-2014 06:50 PM

depends on the situation for me. For my more general, "im worthless and nothing good will ever happen to me" stuff, I tend to eat to feel better. I think im doing myself a favor by eating stuff i like and lots of it. If an event happens and i feel out of control/full of anxiety, I stop eating, or what I do eat makes me sick. This is prime time to start loosing weight. Just chase that feeling by its heels since Im used to hunger pains. Eventually my stomach gets more tolerant, and I begin to eat a bit more. Add workouts and youre done.

The exploding boy 05-14-2014 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aeris Hilton (Post 4060588)

don't you realise i'm just listening to myself talk without listening to any of you guys?


Nah i'd read it but used a special skill I have called selective memory.

Elphenor 05-14-2014 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cool As Ice Cream (Post 4060503)
tss!

Lol. IceCream has become a father figure to me.

Cool As Ice Cream 05-15-2014 02:51 AM

EAT YOUR HEALTHY MEALS THREE TIMES A DAY! SON!

reprise85 05-15-2014 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The exploding boy (Post 4060587)
So i'm the only sad sack who gets fatter when depressed?

I hate you all (well ok I did already regardless). Last time I was 147 was pretty much precisely at the 2000 Chicago "last SP show"netphoria gathering. I'm about 197 now. And those pounds aren't going anywhere apparently.

I've done both ways. Either is a symptom of depression. I seem to eat more when I'm really anxious as well.

vixnix 05-15-2014 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pavementtune (Post 4060589)
2014 seems to be the year I'm getting an idea how it is when people start passing away left and right. I don't want to imagine how it is when you're 70, and most people you knew have died. Maybe it's getting easier, less surprising, less shocking.

Death number 7 this year. Offed himself, only 36, one of the extremely "lucky" people, then depression hit him.
And I know it's wrong, but I can't help it. I have to blame someone. His family says they've always been with him since he was struggling with depression, especially "towards the end." Then why the fucking fuck did nobody force him into hospital. And I know I'm a piece of shit for thinking that. But how do you do it without blaming anyone?

I should consider becoming a theist, at least you got to blame god for shit like this.

suicide is the worst kind of death, I'm sorry. worse than cancer for me. not that it's a quantifiable thing but in my experience it has been worse. we get a lot of it in new zealand for some reason. could be the weather and the farms. sorry pavement. :(

vixnix 05-15-2014 10:09 AM

I reckon it might be the isolation and the weather that gets to people in NZ. It gets so cold and quiet, apart from the wind.

The exploding boy 05-15-2014 10:54 AM

Margin

The exploding boy 05-15-2014 10:56 AM

For years Quebec had the highest rate of suicide in north america. I havent checked the numbers for years though so that's possibly not true anymore. In the 90's anyway definitely... I'm not sure why either, it's not like it a terribly poor place, it is cold but not more so than most of canada. Maybe just bad genes for mental health from not sharing them much with the rest of north america? (we might be millions but we really mainly just fucked each other for a long time and we started from jsut a few thousands, im talking abotu french canadians)....

i know i inherited all my mental problems from my mom's family. There's a suicide (an uncle who looked just the fuck like me) and my grandma was a bit cuckoo, my aunt was an alcoholic for a long time.


P.S: this was my first margin, i feel like less a noob already.

The exploding boy 05-15-2014 02:34 PM

You're right actually. I shouldn't have said all. But, predisposition surely.

reprise85 05-15-2014 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pavementtune (Post 4060589)
2014 seems to be the year I'm getting an idea how it is when people start passing away left and right. I don't want to imagine how it is when you're 70, and most people you knew have died. Maybe it's getting easier, less surprising, less shocking.

Death number 7 this year. Offed himself, only 36, one of the extremely "lucky" people, then depression hit him.
And I know it's wrong, but I can't help it. I have to blame someone. His family says they've always been with him since he was struggling with depression, especially "towards the end." Then why the fucking fuck did nobody force him into hospital. And I know I'm a piece of shit for thinking that. But how do you do it without blaming anyone?

I should consider becoming a theist, at least you got to blame god for shit like this.

im sorry pave.

i asked my therapist today how her view towards death with regards to how she reacts to it has changed. she said gardening helps her re: death and reformation into something new etc. no consolation but i think death will get easier, just hopefully not because every we know has died.

in related news, i found out my therapist is also atheist/agnostic which i suspected but didnt know for sure.

reprise85 05-15-2014 06:51 PM

that or maybe she's mirroring me as a therapeutic technique but i dont think so.

Trotskilicious 05-15-2014 07:18 PM

oh my god new zealand sounds like paradise

Trotskilicious 05-15-2014 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The exploding boy (Post 4060928)
it's not like it a terribly poor place

i heard them say
the white man invented existential angst
when he ran out of other problems
because the thing about those problems was
typically more money would solve them

I'm Hardcore 05-15-2014 07:31 PM

NZ is okay but it's full of fuckwits

Trotskilicious 05-15-2014 07:33 PM

you and luke seem pretty on the ball

Trotskilicious 05-15-2014 07:34 PM

is the new zealand television tape from Conchords real NZ tv

Trotskilicious 05-15-2014 07:34 PM

i want to go there to grow weed and work on my novel

i will live on the side of a mountain

I'm Hardcore 05-15-2014 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pavementtune (Post 4061024)
Have the immigration laws always been so tough?
A friend of mine wanted to move to NZ, badly. No way.

you have to be a Chinese businessman

The exploding boy 05-15-2014 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious (Post 4061010)
i heard them say
the white man invented existential angst
when he ran out of other problems
because the thing about those problems was
typically more money would solve them


It's true.

I am convinced money would solve 99% of my problems. It's not even that hard for most white men to make a decent amount of money so really I have no excuse. Even better, i'm from middle class (well lower). But like most of these people I have stupid fucking mental issues. Though i'm pretty sure i didn't invent them. They just make me feel guiltier though.

How many people around here are from NZ anyway? Two seems a lot already. hey remember that girl ****** that was like a part time model ("you could be a part time model" how fitting) from NZ? Whatever happened to her. She was cute. I think she had left by the time I did though. I remember thinking sure you're a model and then like cactuar saw a billboard she was on or something. Someone in Australia anyway.

I'm going nowhere with this, just reminiscing.

A good end to this story would be someone telling me that's vixnix.

vixnix 05-15-2014 09:36 PM

sorry to disappoint you but I'm half-Samoan, have size 12 feet, and have never been asked to do any modelling.

Actually, once...but that was for an asthma awareness campaign and they wanted equal numbers of different skin colours, so that was a bit different.

Trotskilicious 05-15-2014 09:44 PM

I'M HALF SAMOAN, B

vixnix 05-15-2014 10:12 PM

you best watch your healf debartment and save your breafs. Look to me when I spek to you. Look to my eyes. I come to squash you, if you talk to me akain in dis way

vixnix 05-15-2014 10:13 PM

no God, that's pathetic, I can't do it. Samoans are actually very funny people but I guess the genes for humour didn't transmit along with the ones for huge paddle feet and massive leg muscles

Starla 05-15-2014 10:14 PM

Samoan people are wonderful.

noyen 05-15-2014 10:24 PM

large sweeping generalizations remind me of racism, even if they're positive.

The exploding boy 05-15-2014 10:44 PM

I hear samoans are magical.

Someone should make sweeping generalizations about french canadians.

Then again i imagine most people here have had limited contact with them. I assure you they're not all as annoying as me.

Trotskilicious 05-15-2014 11:17 PM

here's my sweeping generalization about french canadians

they're all faggots, every last one


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