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-   -   You Know I'm Chat Thread (http://forums.netphoria.org/showthread.php?t=187148)

ovary 04-16-2023 02:17 PM

you sound like someone well practiced at doubling down on confidently expressed ignorant statements

ilikeplanets 04-17-2023 01:16 AM

I tried "pasta" made from hearts of palm, and somehow it was crunchy and soggy at the same time. So, so terrible.

vixnix 04-17-2023 09:18 AM

I’ve had therapists where every session was groundbreaking and I’ve had therapists where each session was at best a waste of time. Clinical psychologists have always been good, for me.

smashingjj 04-17-2023 01:05 PM

No therapist has opened my eyes moreso than Kimani Shorter has.

Joey Goldberg 04-17-2023 01:24 PM

is that why you banned him? afraid of being too healthy? too powerful?

some days i really miss kimono

i sure as hell have no idea what White Lies are up to!

vixnix 04-18-2023 02:43 AM

Kimani said “try doxymethorphan” and that was the breakthrough for me, every session

yo soy el mejor 04-21-2023 02:55 PM

"listen to rap music"

yo soy el mejor 04-21-2023 03:40 PM

lol @ the clothes on the wall but the song goes hard


Plasticine Rap Star 04-21-2023 03:53 PM

I haven't been in therapy since I was in hospital years back. It was totally pointless and repetitive when I was extremely low, but once I got on meds that helped things I kind of liked seeing the psychologist once a week. I didn't make any profound breakthroughs but I sort of enjoyed being able to vent a bit. I could also pretty much approach any nurse or support worker there for a chat in a side room or whatever, and unless they were busy with something they had no choice but to sit there and listen to me 'cause it was part of their job...

Disco King 04-26-2023 04:14 PM

Imma gonna go on a rant real quick.

Welp, I've officially decided I will never again live with a specific roommate I have after this lease is up.

He's unemployed for long stretches of time and keeps on quitting his jobs after a few weeks because he decides he doesn't like them. Despite the fact that he knows he owes me thousands of dollars because he just stopped paying rent and utilities months ago. I'm the one who gives the landlord cheques and who handles the utilities/insurance accounts, so I'm forced to cover his share.

Paying two people's bills every month has depleted my savings and now I can't even buy food. Yesterday I had a protein shake and the slices of ready-to-bake pizza he didn't want and generously offered me. Literally all I have stocked is protein powder and frozen fruit.

Even after getting a few bucks in my account, no transactions will go through anymore. I don't know if having my card/autopay declined so many times just puts a hold on my accounts or something. Cards don't work, PayPal doesn't work. I'll have to call the bank when I'm done with this essay.

There's no point making a big deal of it to him because he just profusely apologizes and acts contrite, but does the exact same shit again. He's incapable of learning from his mistakes or making any changes to better his life. I'm just taking it in stride for the time being and will simply never have anything to do with him again the moment our lease is up unless it's to collect any money he still owes me by then.

The other two roommates are fine, and they are also getting a bit annoyed by the shitty one for different reasons, so I'm already gauging their receptivity to getting a place without the leech when the lease is up.

vixnix 04-27-2023 12:53 AM

That sucks. That is a lot of money :(

When is the lease up? Definitely get rid of this guy

ilikeplanets 04-27-2023 01:43 AM

Ugh, roommates

ilikeplanets 04-27-2023 12:35 PM

Were you guys all friends going in?

topleybird 04-27-2023 03:16 PM

Wait, why are you forced to cover his share when you have two other roommates? Why aren't they pitching in? Have you discussed this with your landlord? Why can't you kick his ass to the curb and replace him? I don't know what the laws are in Canada (or here for that matter), but even if his name's on the lease, if he's not holding up his end of that legal document by paying, why are you forced to put up with him?

This is sounding a bit combative and I just want to be clear I'm pissed on your behalf, and also incredulous that this is a situation one could be stuck in

ovary 04-27-2023 09:25 PM

yes why are you paying for him

reprise85 04-27-2023 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disco King (Post 4621891)
I go to therapy because I feel like there's really nothing else I can do. If I sit there and complain about my life and somebody asks me if I'm in therapy and I say "no," then it's, like, on me for not taking steps to help myself. Like, there's a judgement associated with it. "Clearly, you don't want to get better, you just want to be a victim."

But literally, therapy barely does anything for me no matter what therapist I go to. I say some negative thoughts I have about myself, the therapist tells me "but you're so great, you're just being hyper-critical and focusing on negatives, think about the positives instead." And I go "wow, thanks, I'm cured." Whether it's true or not, has being told this ever helped anyone?

I think another problem with therapy is that sometimes people's problems aren't really just mental. Somebody is poor, so they have all the stressors related to economic insecurity. The therapist gives them some fucking breathing and mindfulness exercises when what the person really needs is money. If the government gave that person money, their heart rate would fall into the normal range pretty quickly.

You have a very going point with the circumstance problems not being something therapy can really help.

I have pretty intense trauma issues as most people on here know, so my focus in therapy has probably been somewhat different than most, but my experience in therapy has been very good since I found the right therapist, which luckily was like 12 years ago. But even when I had a pretty shitty therapist, they never would have said something like that. They should know it won't help. In fact, in essentially saying "you shouldn't feel that way" or "that's just anxiety bro" they're not even acknowledging your feelings, which is not helpful at all. You feel what you feel. And if those are distortions, what is leading you to having them? If they're true, what can you do to change them? etc, sorry I know this probably isn't helpful but and is overly simplified, but I've only ever heard like a mental health tech in a hospital say something that dumb to me in a therapeutic context.

MyOneAndOnly 04-28-2023 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAlter (Post 4622894)
This doesn't make sense unless the contract's on him which also doesn't make sense. And why the others two are ok with it? Looks like a toxic situation (no joke).

I'd kick em all out, honestly.

I don't understand this either. Is his name on the lease? If his name is on the lease, don't pay his share! Tell the landlord you want him out.

If his name isn't on the lease, then kick his ass out! If you're paying his portion and he's not a Leasee then allow him to squat in your place?

MyOneAndOnly 04-28-2023 01:35 PM

I've dealt with freeloading roommates before. One was so bad my housemates and I even put all her shit on the curb while she was gone from the house... and we asked the landlord to change the lock so she couldn't get back in.

Disco King 04-28-2023 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vixnix (Post 4622784)
That sucks. That is a lot of money :(

When is the lease up? Definitely get rid of this guy

Lease is up in August. It would be hard to replace the guy, because then we'd have to find a person to replace him for just a view months. It would be easier near the beginning of a lease.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ilikeplanets (Post 4622838)
Were you guys all friends going in?

I was friends with one of them and mild acquaintances with the other two while moving in. The one that I knew better moved out, and was replaced with another acquaintance.

The one that sucks is good at presenting himself differently from how he actually is. He seems like he has his life together, is charismatic and funny, talks himself up, etc. Going in, he was talking about how clean he is and shit. He turns out to be the messiest person and I'm always picking up after him. He tells me this thing about how he used to be an alcoholic and overcame it. He's still an alcoholic. He needs to get drunk every night.

Quote:

Originally Posted by topleybird (Post 4622842)
Wait, why are you forced to cover his share when you have two other roommates? Why aren't they pitching in? Have you discussed this with your landlord? Why can't you kick his ass to the curb and replace him? I don't know what the laws are in Canada (or here for that matter), but even if his name's on the lease, if he's not holding up his end of that legal document by paying, why are you forced to put up with him?

This is sounding a bit combative and I just want to be clear I'm pissed on your behalf, and also incredulous that this is a situation one could be stuck in

Pretty much, paying rent is our collective responsibility, so even if one guy fucks up, can't really just go to the landlord and say "well it's his fault," because we're all collectively on the hook for it, anyway. It's not like the landlord will just say "that's all right; I'll accept 3/4 of the rent and only pester the freeloader for his share."

Replacing him would take a lot of effort for the few months we've got left. And that's a few months where we all have to pay more rent. I mean, yeah, I'm already paying more rent, but in previous times where he went months without paying rent, he's eventually paid it back. If he's not a tenant, then there's no one to eventually pay back the extra rent I'm paying for those months.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MyOneAndOnly (Post 4622910)
I don't understand this either. Is his name on the lease? If his name is on the lease, don't pay his share! Tell the landlord you want him out.

If his name isn't on the lease, then kick his ass out! If you're paying his portion and he's not a Leasee then allow him to squat in your place?

His name is on the lease as an occupant rather than a tenant. He used to be one of the tenants, but when we renewed the lease, I thought it better to pick a roommate who can stably hold a job as the co-tenant for the credit check (maybe that was stupid of me).

ilikeplanets 04-28-2023 04:47 PM

I have definitely noticed that people who talk about how clean they are definitely aren't. Just like when people talk about how smart they are.

vixnix 04-29-2023 07:39 AM

I’m a bit suspicious of any claim a person makes about themselves.

Or their kids, usually.

I’ve met too many “gifted” kids for that term to have any meaning

LaBelle 04-30-2023 05:22 PM

I'm the smartest most beautiful strongest funniest alwaysgotareplyonthetipofmytongue perfect person to ever person on this universe.

My only flaw is how modest I am.

ilikeplanets 04-30-2023 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vixnix (Post 4622980)
I’m a bit suspicious of any claim a person makes about themselves.

Or their kids, usually.

I’ve met too many “gifted” kids for that term to have any meaning

I am SO hesitant to use that term, it's too loaded. Mine is above grade level in all subjects (in kindergarten lol) but I prefer to describe her as an energetic drama queen. Which really applies to both kids.

ovary 04-30-2023 09:40 PM

my kid was supposed to roll months ago but he just sits. when i pick him up in daycare he's just sitting there while all the other babies crawl in circles around him.

ilikeplanets 04-30-2023 11:17 PM

Fear not, before long you won't be able to catch him

Elphenor 05-01-2023 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disco King (Post 4622929)
Lease is up in August. It would be hard to replace the guy, because then we'd have to find a person to replace him for just a view months. It would be easier near the beginning of a lease.



I was friends with one of them and mild acquaintances with the other two while moving in. The one that I knew better moved out, and was replaced with another acquaintance.

The one that sucks is good at presenting himself differently from how he actually is. He seems like he has his life together, is charismatic and funny, talks himself up, etc. Going in, he was talking about how clean he is and shit. He turns out to be the messiest person and I'm always picking up after him. He tells me this thing about how he used to be an alcoholic and overcame it. He's still an alcoholic. He needs to get drunk every night.



Pretty much, paying rent is our collective responsibility, so even if one guy fucks up, can't really just go to the landlord and say "well it's his fault," because we're all collectively on the hook for it, anyway. It's not like the landlord will just say "that's all right; I'll accept 3/4 of the rent and only pester the freeloader for his share."

Replacing him would take a lot of effort for the few months we've got left. And that's a few months where we all have to pay more rent. I mean, yeah, I'm already paying more rent, but in previous times where he went months without paying rent, he's eventually paid it back. If he's not a tenant, then there's no one to eventually pay back the extra rent I'm paying for those months.



His name is on the lease as an occupant rather than a tenant. He used to be one of the tenants, but when we renewed the lease, I thought it better to pick a roommate who can stably hold a job as the co-tenant for the credit check (maybe that was stupid of me).

well all the roommates are paying the extra rent yes?

if you're just loaning him the full share of his rent indefinitely...idk, that was a poor decision

either way sorry you're dealing with that

Elphenor 05-01-2023 06:19 PM

Ive been renting rooms in other folks house since I moved out and Id recommend it honestly

the homeowner is typically on the hook for utilities and for the extra cost of a delinquent roommate

the drawback is ofc that the homeowner sets the rules, however, I've found that because they have a mortgage and you don't, you have a decent amount of bargaining power

ilikeplanets 05-01-2023 06:54 PM

I've done that a few times and didn't enjoy the experience, but the home owner was also still living there. It would probably be nicer to just rent a place that has tenants only.

slunken 05-05-2023 05:35 PM

i have to move too, in 5 months

it sucks shit and I want to die

slunken 05-05-2023 05:36 PM

double post whoops

slunken 05-05-2023 05:39 PM

I need to stop moving to places that later become very popular so they won't JACK MY FUCKING RENT UP 400 FUCKING DOLLARS

slunken 05-05-2023 05:41 PM



fried eggs and country ham

ilikeplanets 05-06-2023 12:08 AM

I should be moving in August...this houses closes in less than a month, then we gotta rent it back until our tiny new house is complete. So ready to be back on the other coast.

slunken 05-08-2023 04:59 PM

netphoria house coming soon

redbreegull 05-10-2023 02:36 PM

Net4Euh Haus

redbreegull 05-10-2023 02:46 PM

A Netphoria All-Stars Reality TV Event You Don't Want To Miss

Ram27 05-10-2023 04:37 PM

i would love to live in a hippy commune with netphorians

Disco King 05-10-2023 04:51 PM

As much as I like you guys, nothing could be worse for our collective mental health.

smashingjj 05-10-2023 04:54 PM

I would moderate the shit out of all you


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