oh yeah. well i don't have to worry about my roommate leaving the door open while i'm

Samsa · 10-01-2002, 11:57 AM

trying to work anymore.

why not? because now she just takes her business INSIDE the room. last night i get out of the shower and there's this girl on her computer writing a paper. okay i say! so i sit down peacefully to read 80 pages about japan (now let me tell you. i've realized that the younger the democratic structure the more boring and fucking detailed the chapter is going to be. the british chapter was pretty interesting because they didn't really go into all this fucking detail about every single election because it would've taken too long. but japan? sheesh. holy hell. and they have all thse parties and break-off parties and it's so confusing because the conservative parties ie right wing parties are the ones that are for bigger government and they call themselves liberals so you have all these 'liberal' parties that are really conservative parties and you have these socialist parties etc etc etc and it's so hard to keep track of them because they're all abbreviated into three letters. LDP. JSP. ETC. DSP. i don't fucking know. ohh man. yeah)

so but then eventually there are other people in there talking basically my two roommates this girl and this other guy. (another thing i cannot understand. there are these two guys in our building who are like so fucking popular with the girls and i cannot for the life of me understand why. they are a)not interesting b)not funny c)not attractive d)not especially nice e)don't even have any sort of foreign accent. so one of the guys is in here on my roommate's new loft molesting her and by this time it's what, 1 am? anyways so sometime in here i put my headphones on and turned the music up and it wasn't so bad, but then lo and behold, my music is distracting my roommates from their talk! they asked me to turn it down but instead i ijiust put on different headphones. i don't fucking know. i was up 'till 4 am. japan is cool though don't get me wrong.

[This message has been edited by Samsa (edited 10-01-2002).]

Squashing Pineapples · 10-01-2002, 11:58 AM

you sure likes to talk alone, don't you?

Samsa · 10-01-2002, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Squashing Pineapples:
you sure liks to talk alone, don't you?

you sure like to reply to my topics, don't you. i'm gonna go eat lunch now.

Squashing Pineapples · 10-01-2002, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Samsa:
you sure like to reply to my topics, don't you. i'm gonna go eat lunch now.

good, put some food into your piehole and shut up for a second

DeviousJ · 10-01-2002, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Samsa:
okay i say!

Turned his monkey into a hill o' beans!

Affect · 10-01-2002, 12:22 PM

Ha, ha, very funny. Laugh it up, guys. I'm glad you find it so amusing.

Well, I hate to spoil your good time, but I've got some news for you: This huge cock has gotten me out of some tough scrapes.

This past June, I was rock-climbing in Utah with some college buddies when one of us, my good friend Alan, had a malfunction with his equipment. It's a little complicated to get into, but he was unable to get up or down, and the rope he was using was starting to fray. Wasting no time, I took out my penis and dropped it down to him so he could climb back up. Believe me, no one was laughing at the size of my piece when I pulled him to safety!

Still not convinced? Maybe this anecdote will make you sing a different tune. I was at the art museum to check out a touring Van Gogh exhibit, and my belt had broken. Not wanting to alarm anyone, I made my way through the exhibit very slowly, holding my pants up with one hand. While pausing before one of Van Gogh's self-portraits, I saw a trio of armed bandits rush in. They told everyone to raise their hands as they took the paintings off the wall.

After what seemed like an eternity, one of the thieves noticed that I was only raising one hand. He said he'd shoot me if I didn't get that other hand up, so I did. My pants dropped, causing my humongous hose to unspool right in front of everyone. The crooks were so shocked by the immensity of my schlong that they dropped their ill-gotten loot and fled! The museum director was so thrilled, he gave me a lifetime membership and a 20 percent discount at the gift shop.

So you can see, my huge cock has really been a lifesaver—literally. But it's not just about saving lives. Oh, no. It has also helped me in my personal relationships. About four years ago, I went on a blind date. I was incredibly nervous, but when I got to the door, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my date was extremely attractive. We got into my car and made some polite chitchat, but I was still so anxious that my mouth started getting dry. I pulled over to get some bottled water at a convenience store. On the way out of the car, my date accidentally dropped her house keys down the sewer. Uh-oh.

Luckily, I had my penis with me! After finding a nice, wide spot in the grating, I threw my cock down to the keys, hooked the head through her keychain (thank God she had an oversized key loop), and pulled them up. After that, things were much more relaxed between us, and the night was a huge success. As it turned out, my cock was just the icebreaker I needed. Did I mention that woman is now my wife? Dean's huge penis to the rescue!

Sometimes, my long dong actually seems to defy the laws of science. Like the time I got my kindly old neighbor Mrs. Linton's kitten out of a tree. I shook my penis erect and, lying on my back, created a ramp for the cat to climb down. Another time, I was able to use an erection to clear the leaves from my neighbor's clogged storm drain before an approaching downpour. Then there was the time I used my cock to hoist up the curtains at a rock concert, saving the show.

So you see, my cock shouldn't be subjected to cruel barbs just because it's so big. It deserves respect. As do I for using it to help people rather than hurt them. But if it makes you feel better to make it the target of your juvenile taunts, be my guest. Giving immature, insecure jerks something to mock so they can feel better about themselves is yet another use for my mammoth appendage.

Samsa · 10-01-2002, 12:45 PM

ehm. back on topic please. i put my music on so i could concentrate on my work because there were people making noise in my room, and the people making noise in my room thought it was necessary for them to ask me turn my music down!

Junebug · 10-01-2002, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Samsa:
i put my music on so i could concentrate on my work because there were people making noise in my room, and the people making noise in my room thought it was necessary for them to ask me turn my music down!

that's pretty sick, seriously. I don't know if I could handle that. The only complaint so far about my roommate is that (I think) the night before last she had about five friends in the kitchen area and they were SO LOUD and I woke up and was totally confused...but it could've been in the hallway because these walls are paper thin. So right, sorry your roommmate sucks.

Samsa · 10-01-2002, 01:34 PM

my mom is always telling me that she's an imperialist and that she's taking over my room little by little and i'm always going 'mother will you stop being such a psycho???' but i think i'll tell my mom about this incident. heh.

Lie · 10-01-2002, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Samsa:
my mom is always telling me that she's an imperialist and that she's taking over my room little by little and i'm always going 'mother will you stop being such a psycho???' but i think i'll tell my mom about this incident. heh.

Jesus Christ.

http://www.plauder-smilies.com/happy/roflmao.gif

beef curtains · 10-01-2002, 03:44 PM

I was hoping you'd start this post with "because i killed her"
Now i'm disappointed http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/frown.gif

Orchestra · 10-01-2002, 03:47 PM

Fuck this this Samsa cookie cutter thread

Lie · 10-01-2002, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by So very sad about me:
I was hoping you'd start this post with "because i killed her"
Now i'm disappointed http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/frown.gif

I was disappointed too.

Lie · 10-01-2002, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lie:
I was disappointed too.

Well I was actually disappointed because I was hoping the thread would start with "masturbating."

Affect · 10-01-2002, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Affect:
Ha, ha, very funny. Laugh it up, guys. I'm glad you find it so amusing.

Well, I hate to spoil your good time, but I've got some news for you: This huge cock has gotten me out of some tough scrapes.

This past June, I was rock-climbing in Utah with some college buddies when one of us, my good friend Alan, had a malfunction with his equipment. It's a little complicated to get into, but he was unable to get up or down, and the rope he was using was starting to fray. Wasting no time, I took out my penis and dropped it down to him so he could climb back up. Believe me, no one was laughing at the size of my piece when I pulled him to safety!

Still not convinced? Maybe this anecdote will make you sing a different tune. I was at the art museum to check out a touring Van Gogh exhibit, and my belt had broken. Not wanting to alarm anyone, I made my way through the exhibit very slowly, holding my pants up with one hand. While pausing before one of Van Gogh's self-portraits, I saw a trio of armed bandits rush in. They told everyone to raise their hands as they took the paintings off the wall.

After what seemed like an eternity, one of the thieves noticed that I was only raising one hand. He said he'd shoot me if I didn't get that other hand up, so I did. My pants dropped, causing my humongous hose to unspool right in front of everyone. The crooks were so shocked by the immensity of my schlong that they dropped their ill-gotten loot and fled! The museum director was so thrilled, he gave me a lifetime membership and a 20 percent discount at the gift shop.

So you can see, my huge cock has really been a lifesaver—literally. But it's not just about saving lives. Oh, no. It has also helped me in my personal relationships. About four years ago, I went on a blind date. I was incredibly nervous, but when I got to the door, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my date was extremely attractive. We got into my car and made some polite chitchat, but I was still so anxious that my mouth started getting dry. I pulled over to get some bottled water at a convenience store. On the way out of the car, my date accidentally dropped her house keys down the sewer. Uh-oh.

Luckily, I had my penis with me! After finding a nice, wide spot in the grating, I threw my cock down to the keys, hooked the head through her keychain (thank God she had an oversized key loop), and pulled them up. After that, things were much more relaxed between us, and the night was a huge success. As it turned out, my cock was just the icebreaker I needed. Did I mention that woman is now my wife? Dean's huge penis to the rescue!

Sometimes, my long dong actually seems to defy the laws of science. Like the time I got my kindly old neighbor Mrs. Linton's kitten out of a tree. I shook my penis erect and, lying on my back, created a ramp for the cat to climb down. Another time, I was able to use an erection to clear the leaves from my neighbor's clogged storm drain before an approaching downpour. Then there was the time I used my cock to hoist up the curtains at a rock concert, saving the show.

So you see, my cock shouldn't be subjected to cruel barbs just because it's so big. It deserves respect. As do I for using it to help people rather than hurt them. But if it makes you feel better to make it the target of your juvenile taunts, be my guest. Giving immature, insecure jerks something to mock so they can feel better about themselves is yet another use for my mammoth appendage.

Lie · 10-01-2002, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Affect:

I enjoyed it very much. Thank you.

[This message has been edited by Lie (edited 10-01-2002).]

10-01-2002, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lie:
Well I was actually disappointed because I was hoping the thread would start with "masturbating."

k, seriously, I think 95% of the people clicking on this topic was hoping it would be that.

on that note my roomate in 1st year caught me doing it one time.

------------------
I'm not gay.
I'm not gay.
But I dance around in a gay, gay way.

10-01-2002, 05:08 PM

oh and about Samsa's problem: there's always gonna be a time where somebody wants to work, and somebody wants to party and it never really averages out. I found when I was living in rez, to just take my books and go and study downstairs in the lobby or something. don't make a big deal like: "but its my room!", its also your roommate's room too.

------------------
I'm not gay.
I'm not gay.
But I dance around in a gay, gay way.

bonsor · 10-01-2002, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Samsa:
back on topic please.

what topic

Shattering Glass · 10-01-2002, 05:11 PM

If you got a problem Fuckin tell your roommate what your beef is with and make some changes. Fuck.

Mayfuck · 10-01-2002, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lie:
Well I was actually disappointed because I was hoping the thread would start with "masturbating."

http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/redface.gif

Samsa · 10-01-2002, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ugly:
oh and about Samsa's problem: there's always gonna be a time where somebody wants to work, and somebody wants to party and it never really averages out. I found when I was living in rez, to just take my books and go and study downstairs in the lobby or something. don't make a big deal like: "but its my room!", its also your roommate's room too.

i know it's my roommate's room too. which is why it's so fucking annoying that they asked me to turn my music (which i was listening to on headphones) down because they were trying to JOKE AROUND, and i didn't ask them to stop joking around because i was trying to WORK, instead i put on headphones.

i did the passive and compromising thing by trying to find a way to slightly reduce the level of my attention being distracted. and what do they do? they tell me to turn my music down. it's just fucking annoying. and why can't THEY take their business somewhere else for that? how many places are there to joke around it? they could have walked out the fucking door and continued their conversation for that matter. ugh.

Kalsedony · 10-01-2002, 06:12 PM

Put on your docs and beat the shit out of your roommate. She'll take you seriously afterward.

june33 · 10-01-2002, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Samsa:

i know it's my roommate's room too. which is why it's so fucking annoying that they asked me to turn my music (which i was listening to on headphones) down because they were trying to JOKE AROUND, and i didn't ask them to stop joking around because i was trying to WORK, instead i put on headphones.

i did the passive and compromising thing by trying to find a way to slightly reduce the level of my attention being distracted. and what do they do? they tell me to turn my music down. it's just fucking annoying. and why can't THEY take their business somewhere else for that? how many places are there to joke around it? they could have walked out the fucking door and continued their conversation for that matter. ugh.

I know exactly how you feel. It's hard to adjust to living with someone when you are use to having your own room your entire life. That's how it is for me anyway.

Undone · 10-01-2002, 06:21 PM

The only time I've ever had to live with an actual roommate (ie not just sharing the same apartment), it was only for 6 weeks, and she was never there anyway. Just think of this period as a time that will make you appreciate living by yourself when you leave college.

Fattening Ass · 10-01-2002, 06:22 PM

*kicks back at HIS house watchin tv in his boxers with a beer in hand* Life is good.

10-01-2002, 11:57 AM	#1
Samsa Banned Location: A theater near you Posts: 7,929	oh yeah. well i don't have to worry about my roommate leaving the door open while i'm trying to work anymore. why not? because now she just takes her business INSIDE the room. last night i get out of the shower and there's this girl on her computer writing a paper. okay i say! so i sit down peacefully to read 80 pages about japan (now let me tell you. i've realized that the younger the democratic structure the more boring and fucking detailed the chapter is going to be. the british chapter was pretty interesting because they didn't really go into all this fucking detail about every single election because it would've taken too long. but japan? sheesh. holy hell. and they have all thse parties and break-off parties and it's so confusing because the conservative parties ie right wing parties are the ones that are for bigger government and they call themselves liberals so you have all these 'liberal' parties that are really conservative parties and you have these socialist parties etc etc etc and it's so hard to keep track of them because they're all abbreviated into three letters. LDP. JSP. ETC. DSP. i don't fucking know. ohh man. yeah) so but then eventually there are other people in there talking basically my two roommates this girl and this other guy. (another thing i cannot understand. there are these two guys in our building who are like so fucking popular with the girls and i cannot for the life of me understand why. they are a)not interesting b)not funny c)not attractive d)not especially nice e)don't even have any sort of foreign accent. so one of the guys is in here on my roommate's new loft molesting her and by this time it's what, 1 am? anyways so sometime in here i put my headphones on and turned the music up and it wasn't so bad, but then lo and behold, my music is distracting my roommates from their talk! they asked me to turn it down but instead i ijiust put on different headphones. i don't fucking know. i was up 'till 4 am. japan is cool though don't get me wrong. [This message has been edited by Samsa (edited 10-01-2002).]

10-01-2002, 12:22 PM	#6
Affect Fuck Location: xxx Posts: 5,360	Ha, ha, very funny. Laugh it up, guys. I'm glad you find it so amusing. Well, I hate to spoil your good time, but I've got some news for you: This huge cock has gotten me out of some tough scrapes. This past June, I was rock-climbing in Utah with some college buddies when one of us, my good friend Alan, had a malfunction with his equipment. It's a little complicated to get into, but he was unable to get up or down, and the rope he was using was starting to fray. Wasting no time, I took out my penis and dropped it down to him so he could climb back up. Believe me, no one was laughing at the size of my piece when I pulled him to safety! Still not convinced? Maybe this anecdote will make you sing a different tune. I was at the art museum to check out a touring Van Gogh exhibit, and my belt had broken. Not wanting to alarm anyone, I made my way through the exhibit very slowly, holding my pants up with one hand. While pausing before one of Van Gogh's self-portraits, I saw a trio of armed bandits rush in. They told everyone to raise their hands as they took the paintings off the wall. After what seemed like an eternity, one of the thieves noticed that I was only raising one hand. He said he'd shoot me if I didn't get that other hand up, so I did. My pants dropped, causing my humongous hose to unspool right in front of everyone. The crooks were so shocked by the immensity of my schlong that they dropped their ill-gotten loot and fled! The museum director was so thrilled, he gave me a lifetime membership and a 20 percent discount at the gift shop. So you can see, my huge cock has really been a lifesaver—literally. But it's not just about saving lives. Oh, no. It has also helped me in my personal relationships. About four years ago, I went on a blind date. I was incredibly nervous, but when I got to the door, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my date was extremely attractive. We got into my car and made some polite chitchat, but I was still so anxious that my mouth started getting dry. I pulled over to get some bottled water at a convenience store. On the way out of the car, my date accidentally dropped her house keys down the sewer. Uh-oh. Luckily, I had my penis with me! After finding a nice, wide spot in the grating, I threw my cock down to the keys, hooked the head through her keychain (thank God she had an oversized key loop), and pulled them up. After that, things were much more relaxed between us, and the night was a huge success. As it turned out, my cock was just the icebreaker I needed. Did I mention that woman is now my wife? Dean's huge penis to the rescue! Sometimes, my long dong actually seems to defy the laws of science. Like the time I got my kindly old neighbor Mrs. Linton's kitten out of a tree. I shook my penis erect and, lying on my back, created a ramp for the cat to climb down. Another time, I was able to use an erection to clear the leaves from my neighbor's clogged storm drain before an approaching downpour. Then there was the time I used my cock to hoist up the curtains at a rock concert, saving the show. So you see, my cock shouldn't be subjected to cruel barbs just because it's so big. It deserves respect. As do I for using it to help people rather than hurt them. But if it makes you feel better to make it the target of your juvenile taunts, be my guest. Giving immature, insecure jerks something to mock so they can feel better about themselves is yet another use for my mammoth appendage. __________________ ...let this be a sermon I mean everything I've said...

10-01-2002, 03:44 PM	#11
beef curtains Immortal Location: I like me so much better when you're naked Posts: 21,752	I was hoping you'd start this post with "because i killed her" Now i'm disappointed http://www.netphoria.org/wwwboard/frown.gif __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

10-01-2002, 03:47 PM	#12
Orchestra Minion of Satan Posts: 7,776	Fuck this this Samsa cookie cutter thread __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

10-01-2002, 05:11 PM	#20
Shattering Glass Demi-God Location: Shopping for Blood Posts: 280	If you got a problem Fuckin tell your roommate what your beef is with and make some changes. Fuck. __________________ GOT TOTALLY FUCKING OWNED AGAIN.

10-01-2002, 11:58 AM	#2
Squashing Pineapples Banned Location: I'm outta here! Posts: 2,774	you sure likes to talk alone, don't you?

10-01-2002, 12:45 PM	#7
Samsa Banned Location: A theater near you Posts: 7,929	ehm. back on topic please. i put my music on so i could concentrate on my work because there were people making noise in my room, and the people making noise in my room thought it was necessary for them to ask me turn my music down!

10-01-2002, 01:34 PM	#9
Samsa Banned Location: A theater near you Posts: 7,929	my mom is always telling me that she's an imperialist and that she's taking over my room little by little and i'm always going 'mother will you stop being such a psycho???' but i think i'll tell my mom about this incident. heh.

10-01-2002, 05:08 PM	#18
Ugly Posts: n/a	oh and about Samsa's problem: there's always gonna be a time where somebody wants to work, and somebody wants to party and it never really averages out. I found when I was living in rez, to just take my books and go and study downstairs in the lobby or something. don't make a big deal like: "but its my room!", its also your roommate's room too. ------------------ I'm not gay. I'm not gay. But I dance around in a gay, gay way.

10-01-2002, 06:12 PM	#23
Kalsedony Ownz Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 766	Put on your docs and beat the shit out of your roommate. She'll take you seriously afterward.

10-01-2002, 06:21 PM	#25
Undone Apocalyptic Poster Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 1,335	The only time I've ever had to live with an actual roommate (ie not just sharing the same apartment), it was only for 6 weeks, and she was never there anyway. Just think of this period as a time that will make you appreciate living by yourself when you leave college. __________________ AIM: Sickly Heroic Me To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

10-01-2002, 06:22 PM	#26
Fattening Ass Just Hook it to My Veins! Location: Planet Nintendu 64 Posts: 30,825	kicks back at HIS house watchin tv in his boxers with a beer in hand Life is good. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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