omfing god

Samsa · 11-08-2002, 06:48 PM

"My name is Jesus Christ. You raped my mother. Prepare to die."

-Jesus to God, during tea.

Samsa · 11-08-2002, 06:49 PM

One day while Jesus was walking along, he came across a group of people who were about to stone a prostitute to death. He stopped them, saying "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". The crowd started to disperse, when a little old lady in the crowd let fly with a large rock, which hit the prostitute on the side of the head. Jesus turned to her and said, "Sometimes you really piss me off, Mother"

noir cat · 11-08-2002, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Samsa
One day while Jesus was walking along, he came across a group of people who were about to stone a prostitute to death. He stopped them, saying "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". The crowd started to disperse, when a little old lady in the crowd let fly with a large rock, which hit the prostitute on the side of the head. Jesus turned to her and said, "Sometimes you really piss me off, Mother"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! :x Omg.

Samsa · 11-08-2002, 06:53 PM

it was really embarassing. i read it and i started chuckling and my roommate was all 'what is it?' and i couldn't tell her cuz my other roommat ethe baptist was in here and i didn't want to offend her so i was like making gestures and she was all 'did i moon you?' and i was all 'no no' and i just. i couldn't tell her! she finally came over and i sort of tried to gesture at my roommate it hink she got it. dammit.

Samsa · 11-08-2002, 06:54 PM

Okay, it was a very long time ago. I was talking with Jesus one fine day (I remember it as if it were only a hundred years ago), and we were just chatting. We did that a lot then. Then the horns kicked in. We, of course moved, because the horns were too loud, and out of tune. Needed more practice. Ah well. Anyway, we started to get on the subject of politics and then humanity. Jesus, and I remember this very clearly, said " You know Yohoo, maybe it would be nice not to hit everybody all the time." He had a lot to learn. I told him, that the world wasn't ready for such things as that yet, but Jesus was always a headstrong person. He went around trying to prove that not hitting people would be nice. Unfortunately for him, I was right. The masses were not ready for it, so they nailed him to a tree while making him wear a bush on his head. He should have taken my advice.

Karl Malone · 11-08-2002, 08:16 PM

Another stupid post by suze. She should join my fellow trolls and I. At least we know we're stupid.

Samsa · 11-08-2002, 08:18 PM

excuse me? suddenly i'm not allowed to post a funny joke? you are such a hypocrite. it's funny.

Kalsedony · 11-08-2002, 08:23 PM

The first two were funny, the third...made me uncomfortable. A little too blasphemous, IMO.

Crippler · 11-08-2002, 08:24 PM

How militantly unfunny.

the REAL suze · 11-08-2002, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Samsa
excuse me? suddenly i'm not allowed to post a funny joke? you are such a hypocrite. it's funny.

Quit calling me names, you stupid suze wannabe!

GlassDreams · 11-08-2002, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Karl Malone
Another stupid post by suze. She should join my fellow trolls and I. At least we know we're stupid.

omg. Karl Malone didn't refer to himself in the third person.

Suze Signature · 11-08-2002, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GlassDreams

omg. Karl Malone didn't refer to himself in the third person.

Could you tell suze to put me in her sig?

ammy · 11-08-2002, 11:09 PM

i thought they were funny. course, i also think that religion is dumb.

Satanstick · 11-11-2002, 11:13 AM

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/i...IamWYAgray.JPG

Samsa · 11-11-2002, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ammy
i thought they were funny. course, i also think that religion is dumb.

i thought they were funny too. course, i also have a really morbid sense of humour.

Karl Malone · 11-11-2002, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Samsa

i thought they were funny too. course, i also have a really morbid sense of humour.

Karl Malone say you have morbid breath and no sense of humor.

Samsa · 11-11-2002, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Karl Malone

Karl Malone say you have morbid breath and no sense of humor.

umm i've never met karl malone and mind you, considering i found those funny i must have some sense of humour, because how can you find things funny without a sense of humour?

Karl Malone · 11-11-2002, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Samsa

umm i've never met karl malone and mind you, considering i found those funny i must have some sense of humour, because how can you find things funny without a sense of humour?

I met you after the Jazz - Nets game a couple years ago. Karl Malone make love to you in locker room.

11-08-2002, 06:48 PM	#1
Samsa Banned Location: A theater near you Posts: 7,929	omfing god "My name is Jesus Christ. You raped my mother. Prepare to die." -Jesus to God, during tea.

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11-08-2002, 06:49 PM	#2
Samsa Banned Location: A theater near you Posts: 7,929	One day while Jesus was walking along, he came across a group of people who were about to stone a prostitute to death. He stopped them, saying "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". The crowd started to disperse, when a little old lady in the crowd let fly with a large rock, which hit the prostitute on the side of the head. Jesus turned to her and said, "Sometimes you really piss me off, Mother"

11-08-2002, 06:53 PM	#4
Samsa Banned Location: A theater near you Posts: 7,929	it was really embarassing. i read it and i started chuckling and my roommate was all 'what is it?' and i couldn't tell her cuz my other roommat ethe baptist was in here and i didn't want to offend her so i was like making gestures and she was all 'did i moon you?' and i was all 'no no' and i just. i couldn't tell her! she finally came over and i sort of tried to gesture at my roommate it hink she got it. dammit.

11-08-2002, 06:54 PM	#5
Samsa Banned Location: A theater near you Posts: 7,929	Okay, it was a very long time ago. I was talking with Jesus one fine day (I remember it as if it were only a hundred years ago), and we were just chatting. We did that a lot then. Then the horns kicked in. We, of course moved, because the horns were too loud, and out of tune. Needed more practice. Ah well. Anyway, we started to get on the subject of politics and then humanity. Jesus, and I remember this very clearly, said " You know Yohoo, maybe it would be nice not to hit everybody all the time." He had a lot to learn. I told him, that the world wasn't ready for such things as that yet, but Jesus was always a headstrong person. He went around trying to prove that not hitting people would be nice. Unfortunately for him, I was right. The masses were not ready for it, so they nailed him to a tree while making him wear a bush on his head. He should have taken my advice.

11-08-2002, 08:16 PM	#6
Karl Malone BANNED Location: Salt Lake City, Utah Posts: 254	Another stupid post by suze. She should join my fellow trolls and I. At least we know we're stupid.

11-08-2002, 08:18 PM	#7
Samsa Banned Location: A theater near you Posts: 7,929	excuse me? suddenly i'm not allowed to post a funny joke? you are such a hypocrite. it's funny.

11-08-2002, 08:23 PM	#8
Kalsedony Ownz Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 766	The first two were funny, the third...made me uncomfortable. A little too blasphemous, IMO.

11-08-2002, 08:24 PM	#9
Crippler Apocalyptic Poster Location: Up in this bitch Posts: 4,446	How militantly unfunny.

11-08-2002, 11:09 PM	#13
ammy yer mom Posts: 23,180	i thought they were funny. course, i also think that religion is dumb.

11-11-2002, 11:13 AM	#14
Satanstick Pledge Location: darklands Posts: 148	http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/i...IamWYAgray.JPG