Suggestions to God for the New Year.

2Marlon2Brando · 01-23-2004, 05:47 PM

taken from Esquire magazine.

01. The Flaming Lips play at every wedding.
02. Every employee at Home Depot knows where the two-inch nails are or their checks don't clear.
03. More colors for pandas, less colors for peacocks.
04. Anyone who uses the word absotively dies within a year.
05. Elevators can go sideways.
06. The only time we ever see a man's feet is during Flinstones reruns.
07. Our penises are also felt-tip pens.
08. Oil and water not only mix, they're best friends.
09. Old batteries are edible...and delicious!
10. Bowel movements smell like lavendar.
11. The second line in a haiku has eight syllables.
12. No more humming.
13. No more of this appendix-bursting bullshit.
14. It takes only one to tango.
15. If people are talking too loud and you stare at them, they burst into flames.
16. Pinatas yell, "Ow!" when they're hit.
17. All foods, not just cereal, have prizes inside.
18. You can put your nipples wherever you want on your body.
19. Drinking too much makes you feel peppy and energetic the next day.
20. A-list actresses have to have sex with anybody who can name all the Radiohead albums.

lawson · 01-23-2004, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 2Marlon2Brando
07. Our penises are also felt-tip pens.

why??

severin · 01-23-2004, 05:58 PM

so you always have one handy when you run into a star and want an autograph....

I_was_aborted · 01-23-2004, 06:00 PM

That was a stupid list.

phaedrus · 01-23-2004, 06:00 PM

so you can sign your work?

the · 01-23-2004, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 2Marlon2Brando

20. A-list actresses have to have sex with anybody who can name all the Radiohead albums.

YES! I WILL FINALLY GET TO FUCK MERYL STREEP!!! YES!!!

wHATcOLOR · 01-23-2004, 06:06 PM

9 was the one i'd vote for

20 too, i missed that one first time around

Orchestra · 01-23-2004, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by I_was_aborted
That was a stupid list.

DeviousJ · 01-23-2004, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by the

YES! I WILL FINALLY GET TO FUCK MERYL STREEP!!! YES!!!

I didn't know you were an actress

Isle · 01-24-2004, 06:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 2Marlon2Brando
taken from Esquire magazine.

06. The only time we ever see a man's feet is during Flinstones reruns.
07. Our penises are also felt-tip pens.

01-23-2004, 05:47 PM	#1
2Marlon2Brando Socialphobic Location: sometimes the same is different but mostly it's the same Posts: 14,519	Suggestions to God for the New Year. taken from Esquire magazine. 01. The Flaming Lips play at every wedding. 02. Every employee at Home Depot knows where the two-inch nails are or their checks don't clear. 03. More colors for pandas, less colors for peacocks. 04. Anyone who uses the word absotively dies within a year. 05. Elevators can go sideways. 06. The only time we ever see a man's feet is during Flinstones reruns. 07. Our penises are also felt-tip pens. 08. Oil and water not only mix, they're best friends. 09. Old batteries are edible...and delicious! 10. Bowel movements smell like lavendar. 11. The second line in a haiku has eight syllables. 12. No more humming. 13. No more of this appendix-bursting bullshit. 14. It takes only one to tango. 15. If people are talking too loud and you stare at them, they burst into flames. 16. Pinatas yell, "Ow!" when they're hit. 17. All foods, not just cereal, have prizes inside. 18. You can put your nipples wherever you want on your body. 19. Drinking too much makes you feel peppy and energetic the next day. 20. A-list actresses have to have sex with anybody who can name all the Radiohead albums.

01-23-2004, 05:58 PM	#3
severin no more than sympathy Location: lying on the floor Posts: 14,826	so you always have one handy when you run into a star and want an autograph.... __________________ i once told a To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. that nothing really ends

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01-23-2004, 06:00 PM	#4
I_was_aborted Minion of Satan Location: chicago Posts: 5,440	That was a stupid list.

01-23-2004, 06:00 PM	#5
phaedrus Minion of Satan Location: up there somewhere Posts: 8,014	so you can sign your work?

01-23-2004, 06:06 PM	#7
wHATcOLOR THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! Location: \|\| MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID ROCK!! Posts: 46,831	9 was the one i'd vote for 20 too, i missed that one first time around