Fuck resume's

Toby · 01-16-2004, 09:11 PM

I can't get my objective to NOT sound cheezy

sickbadthing · 01-16-2004, 09:23 PM

It doesn't matter. Employers want you to blow smoke up their ass.

01-16-2004, 09:48 PM

It's hard to list all of your sexual attributes, isn't it?

Toby · 01-16-2004, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lizard Queen
It's hard to list all of your sexual attributes, isn't it?

sure is.

melombar · 01-16-2004, 09:50 PM

Fuck resume's what ?

Toby · 01-16-2004, 09:53 PM

is it true resume's should only be like one page long? this is all new to me

melombar · 01-16-2004, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Toby
is it true resume's should only be like one page long? this is all new to me

Dunno. I gues it depends on what you're looking for. Mine is more than a page but I've gotta list all my geeked out mad computer skillz. I've heard that is the norm for tech resumes.

01-16-2004, 09:58 PM

Mention head. Everyone likes head.

Toby · 01-16-2004, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lizard Queen
Mention head. Everyone likes head.

WORK EXPERIENCE: Gave head on a daily basis.

01-16-2004, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Toby

WORK EXPERIENCE: Gave head on a daily basis.

That sure can be work at times.

Toby · 01-16-2004, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lizard Queen

That sure can be work at times.

Especially if it is a really big wang

01-16-2004, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Toby
Especially if it is a really big wang

If it is a wang. Period.

gpub · 01-17-2004, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Toby
is it true resume's should only be like one page long? this is all new to me

Yes, that is a fact. They have tons of resumes on their desk. One page is enough. People hate shuffling through papers.

dustdream · 01-17-2004, 02:41 AM

i've had a lot to do with applicants for jobs, and recommend the following:

first page - name, address etc, personal statement eg "XYZ has had experience in customer service, sales and administration. He/she enjoys dealing with people and is seeking a position that challenges his/her critical thinking" Education and training (list all).

Next pages - List all work experience as follows:

1999-2001 XYZ Company
Clerical Assistant

Duties -
- Answering telephone enquiries
- Maintaining client database
- Invoicing
- Reconciliation
- Report writing as required
- Liasing with clients

etc etc

Next section: Organisations and affiliations - this could be professional or personal such as Board Member for XYZ company

Hobbies and interests - well, that's obvious

Mine also has a section for writing and publishing achievements, but if you have another skill, sporting, creative whatever, put that in.
Lastly, the contact name, position and company for two referees.

Take care with cover letters - even a spelling mistake can mean you get tossed away. Answer all of the selection criteria as best you can, relating it to your past experience and ambitions for the future.

I could show you my resume, but don't want to put it online.

hope that helps
deanne

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

01-16-2004, 09:23 PM	#2
sickbadthing Out fart the hottie! Location: I have super gonorrhoea Posts: 24,316	It doesn't matter. Employers want you to blow smoke up their ass.

01-16-2004, 09:48 PM	#3
Lizard Queen Posts: n/a	It's hard to list all of your sexual attributes, isn't it?

01-16-2004, 09:50 PM	#5
melombar $Eleventy Billion Location: 21 Spooner St. Posts: 618	Fuck resume's what ?

01-16-2004, 09:53 PM	#6
Toby Just Hook it to My Veins! Location: the mtns Posts: 43,034	is it true resume's should only be like one page long? this is all new to me

01-16-2004, 09:58 PM	#8
Lizard Queen Posts: n/a	Mention head. Everyone likes head.

01-17-2004, 02:41 AM	#14
dustdream Pledge Posts: 127	i've had a lot to do with applicants for jobs, and recommend the following: first page - name, address etc, personal statement eg "XYZ has had experience in customer service, sales and administration. He/she enjoys dealing with people and is seeking a position that challenges his/her critical thinking" Education and training (list all). Next pages - List all work experience as follows: 1999-2001 XYZ Company Clerical Assistant Duties - - Answering telephone enquiries - Maintaining client database - Invoicing - Reconciliation - Report writing as required - Liasing with clients etc etc Next section: Organisations and affiliations - this could be professional or personal such as Board Member for XYZ company Hobbies and interests - well, that's obvious Mine also has a section for writing and publishing achievements, but if you have another skill, sporting, creative whatever, put that in. Lastly, the contact name, position and company for two referees. Take care with cover letters - even a spelling mistake can mean you get tossed away. Answer all of the selection criteria as best you can, relating it to your past experience and ambitions for the future. I could show you my resume, but don't want to put it online. hope that helps deanne