have you ever tried to kill yourself?

[Salena Child]

i have tried it a few times. i still think of it often.

[strange_one]

of course I've thought about it, sometimes wandering if I should just walk into the oncoming traffic and end it all in one go, but I never do and will, because I kinda like life

[shaniqua]

half-assedly. i chickened out after 10 tylenol. i had a headache for a week.

[mewl]

I tried when I was 15 but it just ended up with me being hospitalized and sent to therapy for two years...Suicide is retarded.

[Nate the Grate]

the Smashing Pumpkins really WERE one of those bands that everyone that was depressed and stuff listened to, huh? like, you know Adam's Song by Blink-182? whole albums of that.

mmmfff, it's kinda weird to think about it now, since I was too young to be a real, dedicated fan of SP during the whole MCIS-angst revolution thing. the Pumpkins always make me feel...good.

no offense to anyone here, I just think the whole suicide/depression thing is weird and creepy.

[Shane the Pane]

When I feel suicidal I like to play with mice.

[YeehaJamesIha]

Nope. Can't say I have.

[aspecialkid]

edit:

drunk post from last night.

[meow]

DIE DIE

http://forums.netphoria.org/attachme...&postid=366970

[meow]

why kill yourself when nice people draw pictures for you like this!

[Fattening Ass]

nope. life has too much to offer.

[Elvis The Fat Years]

every weekend.

[Ketchup]

why, yes... i still do.

http://www.way2netshop.com/cigarette...lb_ment_lt.gif

[El Savior]

yea. it was a real half assed attempt though.

[D.]

Originally posted by Ketchup
why, yes... i still do.

http://www.way2netshop.com/cigarette...lb_ment_lt.gif

<3<3<3

menthol lights...fucking a.

[Ann Ominous]

Originally posted by David

<3<3<3

menthol lights...fucking a.

pussy cigarettes

[D.]

Originally posted by Ann Ominous


pussy cigarettes

whateva.

they crystalize your lungs and when you're old, they'll make you cough up blood. whatchoo got?

[Boycott Graceland]

Originally posted by shaunna
half-assedly. i chickened out after 10 tylenol. i had a headache for a week.

deliciously ironic!

[DeadOpera]

Never tried hard enough so I
failed like everything else.

eww menthol.

[MstrGhost]

Just can't forget a stupid stomach wash in the hospital (all i can remember of) after more than 20 sedoxil (i was taking half a day, sort of carisoprodol, soma bla bla, forgot I hadn't another box of those, and no alcohol around), i was brought there without sences, of course. I still don't regret it, ...just being stoned for two weeks.

[Mayfuck]

Shake dat ting Miss Kana Kana
Shake dat ting Miss Annabella
Shake dat ting yan Donna Donna
Jodi and Rebecca

Woman Get busy
Jus shake dat booty non-stop
When tha beat drops
Jus keep swingin' it
Get jiggy get crunked up
Percolate anyting you want to call it
Oscillate you hip and don't take pity
Me want fi see you get live 'pon tha riddim when me ryde
And me lyrics a provide electricity
Gal nobody can tell you nuttin'
Can you done know your destiny

Yo sexy ladies want par wid us
In a tha car wid us
Them nah war wid us
In a tha club them want flex wid us
To get next to us
Them cah vex wid us
From tha day me born jah ignite me flame
Gal a call me name and tis me fame
It's all good, girl turn me on
'Til a early morn'
Let's get it on
Let's get it on 'til a early morn'
Girl it's all good jus turn me on

Woman don't sweat it, don't get agitate just gwaan rotate
Can anyting you want you
know you must get it
From you name a mentuin
Don't ease tha tension
Jus run tha program gals wan pet it
Jus have a good tyme
Gal free up unu mind caw nobody can dis yo' man won't let it can
You a tha number one gal
Wave yo' hand
Make them see yo' weddin' band

Yo sexy ladies want par wid us
In a tha car wid us
Them nah war wid us
In a tha club them want flex wid us
To get next to us
Them cah vex wid us
From tha day me born jah ignite me flame
Gal a call me name and tis me fame
It's all good girl turn me on
'Til a early morn'




CLICK ABOVE TO VISIT OUR SPONSORS


Let's get it on
Let's get it on 'til a early morn'
Girl it's all good just turn me on

Woman Get busy
Jus shake dat booty non-stop
When tha beat drops
Jus keep swinging it
Get jiggy get crunked up
Percolate anyting you want to call it
Oscillate you hip and don't take pity
Me want fi see you get live 'pon the riddim when me ride
And me lyrics a provide electricity
Gal nobody can tell you nuttin'
Can you done know your destiny

Yo sexy ladies want par wid us
In a tha car wid us
Them nah war wid us
In a tha club them want flex wid us
To get next to us
Them cah vex wid us
From tha day me born jah ignite me flame
Gal a call me name and tis me fame
It's all good girl turn me on
'Til a early morn'
let's get it on
let's get it on 'til a early morn'
girl it's all good just turn me on

Yo, Shake dat ting
Miss Kana Kana shake dat ting
Yo, Annabella shake dat ting
Miss Donna Donna
Yo Miss Jodi yu'r di one and Rebecca shake dat ting
Yo shake dat ting, yo
Joanna shake dat ting, yo
Annabella shake dat ting
Miss Kana Kana

Yo sexy ladies want par wid us
In a tha car wid us
Them nah war wid us
In a tha club them want flex wid us
To get next to us
Them cah vex wid us
From tha day me born jah ignite me flame
Gal a call me name and tis me fame
It's all good girl turn me on
'Til a early morn'
Let's get it on
Let's get it on 'til a early morn'
Girl it's all good just turn me on

[yeah whatever]

man, you dudes are really fucked up.

[mpp]

Originally posted by SilverSomatic
yes, twice. that's why I had to come home from college.

was college that bad?

[Crono]

Originally posted by strange_one
of course I've thought about it, sometimes wandering if I should just walk into the oncoming traffic and end it all in one go, but I never do and will, because I kinda like life

I prefer to think of driving my car into oncoming traffic on the highway without a seatbelt, but then I think how shitty that would be for the Semi driver I would hit (have to hit a Semi) so I don't get any further.

[yeah whatever]

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES

[Ugly]

I'm gonna go kill myself with a cigarette!!

[Ann Ominous]

Originally posted by David

whateva.

they crystalize your lungs and when you're old, they'll make you cough up blood. whatchoo got?

hemorrhoids

[Ugly]

http://msnbc.com/news/924292.asp

June 10 — It is a familiar tale. June 6: St. Louis police find a 52-year-old woman dead in her home, an apparent suicide. Near her body: printouts from the Internet with explicit instructions on how to die painlessly. It’s well-known that the Internet is full of chat rooms, bulletin boards and Web sites that urge desperate people to take their own lives. But there are hardly any virtual resources where suicidal people are urged to keep on living.

SUICIDE IN THE United States claims nearly 30,000 lives a year. Almost twice as many people die from suicide as homicide every year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The work of fighting on the front lines in this battle for discouraged souls often lies in the hands of crisis hotline workers, both volunteers and professionals who field calls day and night at places like 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433). Their simple message of caring and hope that the anonymous caller will choose to live is often the only lifeline against the demons urging someone who is suicidal to give up the struggle.
But in the cyberspace battleground, there’s hardly even a fight.
On the one hand, five seconds of Internet searching can uncover everything from recipes for deadly cocktails to painless asphyxiation plans. Bulletin boards and chat rooms full of suicide-encouraging Internet friends are just as easy to find. Participants in one newsgroup of suicide supporters claim it’s responsible for a dozen or more deaths. And now the Web is a place where suicide pacts are forged and planed by those who don’t want to leave the world alone, a disturbing trend Japanese authorities are now being forced to tackle.


But currently, while there are some brochure-style Web sites advertising call-in services, no major U.S.-based hotline service offers broad-based e-mail or interactive chat support, according to Dr. Lanny Berman, director of the American Association of Suicidology. Some centers offer limited e-mail contact, but don’t advertise the service. The one e-mail support organization that can be found, The Samaritans, is based in the United Kingdom.
So while suicidal people can flick on their computers and easily find support online to carry out their deadly intentions, there’s hardly any way to connect with someone who wants them to live.

DESPERATE NEED
There is no evidence that pro-suicide chat rooms and Web sites are contributing to more suicides, since the suicide rate is actually down in recent years, Berman said. But the Internet isn’t doing much to prevent them, either

“It really is amazing how few true online resources there are,” said Reese Butler, president of the Kristen Brooks Hope Center, which runs 1-800-SUICIDE. “There’s a lot of printed material, but in terms of interacting with a human being, there really is virtually nothing.”
The need is desperate, Butler said. Suicidal writers send notes to his hotline’s Web site all the time, even though a note on the site says the organization doesn’t monitor e-mail.
“In five years, I’ve done over 1,000 e-mail interventions just from people ... finding our Web site and filling our feedback form,” he said.
Were he to advertise such an online counseling service, Butler said, the site would likely be overwhelmed. Before such a service can be launched, organizations must be ready for the deluge. That’s one reason organizations have been slow to offer online help, he said.

The Samaritans, with little advertising, have heard from 64,000 people around the world since 2001. The group promises a reply within 24 hours, and while it’s been hailed as successful, even a short delay in connecting with a supportive person can cause problems.
“Clearly if someone is in crisis at the moment, a lot of people feel having them on the phone is essential,” Berman said. “E-mail service is still helpful, but often the response is not made until several hours or a day later.”
Karen Kipling, director of Care Crisis Response Services in Everett, Wash., said her professionally staffed crisis hotline has considered offering e-mail service for some time, and the organization is currently trying out software to ensure each inquiry is carefully tracked.
“Whatever we choose to do, we want to do well. Want to be sure we are able to respond every time.”

COULD THEY CONNECT?
Other factors have contributed to the lack of crisis help online. Hotlines have always been telephone-based services, and there is a predictable resistance to change, said Roberta Hurtig, executive director of The Samaritans of Boston, a U.S.-based division of the U.K. group.
“Not everyone is comfortable with the computer,” Hurtig said. “We’ve always been tied up with the telephone, it’s what we know ... we don’t have workstations in our telephone rooms.”
But more important, hotline staffers wonder if they could create the necessary empathetic connection with callers via e-mail, she said.
E-mails are devoid of intonations and other non-verbal cues that help listener and speaker form emotional connections. And written words can easily be misunderstood without immediate feedback.
Those are problems that might be unsolvable, said Alan Ross, director of a New York-based Samaritans group. He’s not in favor of making the jump to cyberspace.
“Dealing with communications is a very imprecise process. You can’t easily describe love or hate,” he said. “It’s one thing to understand something, another thing to be able to write it,” Ross said.

E-MAIL HELP ON THE WAY
Nevertheless, many suicide prevention organizations are moving forward with plans to add virtual services. Hurtig gave a talk about e-mail intervention at the American Association of Suicidology’s annual conference in April, and her Boston organization plans to launch such a service next year.
“There is so much power in just being able to tell your story and just have someone really listen with compassion and not judgment, with caring and not problem solving. On the Internet, you can tell your story without interruption and know someone on the other end will get it and read it, and that someone cares,” she said.
There are people who wouldn’t or couldn’t call a hotline who would send e-mail, Hurtig said. Hotlines often don’t offer effective service to the speech disabled, and they are not useful to those who can’t find a very private telephone line.
Meanwhile, there’s another advantage to online contacts: E-mail conversations quickly speed up the process of getting to the bottom of the problem, Butler said. The average therapist waits about two years before patients reveal “what’s really going on,” he said. Many suicidal people won’t tell therapists their feelings for fear they may be institutionalized. Hotlines work because they promise anonymity; the Web magnifies this effect.
“The Internet is phenomenal at getting people to reveal the deep, dark, ugly truth of their past and what they are really feeling right now and what they are going to do about it. On the Internet there are no impediments,” Butler said.
John Grohol, founding president of the International Society of Mental Health Online, said such services would be particularly helpful to the high-risk teen-age group, which is far more comfortable with computer-mediated communication.
“It’s second nature to the generation growing up right now. Teen-agers instant message their friends more than they talk on the phone. It’s really a different culture,” he said. Grohol’s organization advocates fee-based online therapy. “If it saves a few more lives, I can’t understand why anybody would be against it. We had the same arguments when telephone therapy was introduced to deal with rising suicide rates. The professionals were astounded that anyone could be helped by talking to them over the phone. They all said, ‘This will never work.’ ”

PRIVATE EFFORTS TO STEM SUICIDE
Organized online crisis intervention programs couldn’t come too soon for people like Doug Wiser and Christine Smith, who have launched private efforts to counter suicide encouragement found on the Internet. Wiser spends time posting notes to an Internet bulletin board where suicide is promoted as a viable option, participating as an antagonist — what members call a “shiney happy.” Smith has a simple Web page named 1000deaths.com where she publishes memorial pictures of those who have committed suicide.

“Our site is effectively a subtle message that says, “Don’t do it; talk about your pain and get help,” Smith said. She regularly receives e-mail from suicidal people and refers them to The Samaritans

Despite the macabre nature of the content on the group Wiser participates in, and the fact that some members have ended their lives, he said the ability to have such wide-open conversation can be positive.
“Something tells me it lowers the suicide rate,” he said. Participants frequently complain that they can’t discuss their suicidal thoughts with school counselors or family members, lest they end up in a hospital — making the newsgroup their only outlet. “If this person has no community with anyone else and has finally landed in a newsgroup ... they have created a kind of community.”

MOUNTAINOUS OBSTACLES
Of course, it’s a less-than-ideal community, and groups like the Samaritans hope to soon provide healthier alternatives. But there are still mountainous obstacles. They’ll have to retrain some staffers and recruit others to handle what might be a huge workload, all in an environment where government funding for public assistance programs is extremely tight.
Private funding for such a wide-ranging effort will also be a challenge. Most crisis help lines are local, making private fund-raising efforts easier. Since e-mail support is by definition global, donors can be harder to find.
There are also liability and anonymity issues to work out; since many Internet communications can be traced, how does a hotline isolate itself from family complaints that it should have been notified before a suicide?
“Right now, we get a quarter of a million calls a year,” Butler said. “The number of e-mailers and chatters would literally be in the millions if they knew about a free resource for counseling. Our first rule is we do no harm. Well, the day you turn this on, you start getting flooded. ... if we can do this, it will be nothing short of a miracle.”

[Ugly]

http://msnbc.com/news/922190.asp

Japan’s chilling Internet suicide pacts New trend highlights social problems, mental health crisis

June 10 — The discovery Sunday of the bodies of four young Japanese men in a car at a vista point near Mount Fuji appears to be more evidence of a grim new trend in the prosperous country — group suicides of strangers who meet over the Internet. The suicide pacts, which have resulted in at least 18 deaths since February, are shocking to experts, even in a nation plagued by an astronomical suicide rate.

POLICE WERE STILL investigating this latest case, but on its face, it looked eerily like others that have followed a general pattern: The victims are normally young and meet over the Internet through a burgeoning number of suicide-related sites, chat rooms and bulletin boards in Japanese — sites where participants are online not to dissuade, but to support one another in their desires for suicide.
In the latest confirmed case in early May, the victims were a man, 30 years old, and two women, 22 and 18. None had apparently known the others before meeting on line, where they started planning their suicide. As in several other cases, they died of carbon monoxide poisoning from a coal-burning stove after sealing themselves in a room with plastic sheeting and duct tape. Others have taken their lives by the same method — touted by Web sites as fast and painless — in cars parked in remote mountain areas. Still other suicide pacts have been averted, or ended in injury but not death, as in the case of two girls — 14 and 17 — who jumped off a five-story building together.
The group WiredSafety, which has 10,000 volunteers around the world visiting online chat rooms watching for people who prey on children, reports that it has come across many Japanese suicide sites, including sites that encourage participants to overdose together on camera.


“We are picking up a lot (of suicide sites) that are just in Japanese,” says Parry Aftab, executive director of WiredSafety. “We report them to local law enforcement, or the ISP to have them take down the sites. But they just pop up someplace else.” Some sites are expressly for meeting suicide partners, while others suggest the best ways to commit the act, including how to get the charcoal stoves, and prepare the car or other site.
“The way they bill it is, ‘If you’re going to do it, don’t hurt yourself — do it right’,” says WiredSafety director of security, who goes only by the pseudonym Gambler. “They portray themselves as philanthropists.”
While mental health experts in Japan don’t actually blame the Internet for the recent cluster of suicides, the cases highlight some of Japan’s unique social problems and its dismal response to a growing mental health crisis.
Topping a list of possible reasons given for the suicides is extreme alienation among Japanese youth.
“Generally, they have a serious emotional problem, which is that they have difficulty dealing with others face-to-face, a kind of phobia or fear of talking about their feelings in front of others,” says Yukio Saito, a Methodist minister who founded the country’s first suicide-prevention hotline. “Maybe this is quite a Japanese-type emotion. They have difficulty having personal relationships, so they tend to use the Internet to communicate their feelings.”
He speculates that people seeking suicide partners online are people still looking for companionship, even in death. “One single suicide seems quite awful and wrong,” Saito says. “But a double suicide has, in a sense, affection and peace, solace.”

WITHDRAWING FROM THE WORLD


The pressures to perform in school and on the job in Japan are legendary, as are the pressures that parents put on their children to keep up appearances.
Saito notes another syndrome among young people called “hikikomori” — a withdrawal from society for months or, in some cases, years at a time. Often hikikomori sufferers confine themselves to a bedroom in their parents’ home, where many Japanese tend to live until they are married. By some estimates, about 1.2 million young people or about 1 percent of the total have slipped into this state of self-imposed isolation, cutting off contact with the outside, and barely communicating with those around them. As one recovered hikikomori sufferer described the condition in an interview with a Japanese paper, she became much like a “family pet” in the household who did little more than eat and sleep.
In Japan, even for the home-bound, the Internet is one way to communicate. With about 40 percent of the population online, it is one of the world’s most wired nations. In addition, there are 1.5 mobile phones for every person in Japan, so trains, shopping malls and schools are beeping with calls, or humming with quiet “instant messaging.”
While there is companionship to be found electronically, the online world has its perils.
The inability to express themselves or rebel has fueled the euphoria that Japanese young people feel when they log on and talk to strangers, says Mitsuyo Ohira, a lawyer who wrote the best-selling book “And So Can You” about survival of her own suicide attempts as a teen.
“In the virtual realm of the Internet ... many such youngsters feel they can open up to strangers because everyone is ‘faceless,’ so to speak,” she said, speaking with the daily Asahi Shimbun about the recent suicides. “They reveal their honest thoughts and their Net buddies reciprocate. This convinces them they have finally met their true soulmates for the first time in their lives. But unfortunately, this is an illusion.”

SUICIDE EPIDEMIC

The problem is by no means confined to the young. In 2001, there were a reported 31,042 suicides in Japan. It was the fourth year in a row in which the number topped 30,000 — a per-capita rate more than twice that in the United States.
As a decade-long recession has deepened, company restructuring has led to layoffs, bankruptcies and homelessness — unprecedented in the affluent nation. It has radically altered the landscape for Japanese who witnessed the steadily growing prosperity of the post-World War II period.
In 2001, amid a shocking rise in the number of suicides by middle-aged professionals, the Japanese government for the first time allotted money to suicide prevention.
In a macabre sign of the times, a task force considered ways to redesign buildings to prevent people from jumping to their deaths. Train stations began installing “suicide mirrors” and barriers to prevent people from leaping onto the tracks.
Meanwhile, life insurance companies have canceled payouts or lengthened the wait for payouts where suicide is the cause of death, following criticism that payouts were in some cases an incentive for suicide.
The Japanese government started funding suicide awareness programs and issued a booklet to corporations to be on the lookout for danger signs among employees and called on companies to offer counseling.
It also gave money to bolster Saito’s fledgling suicide prevention hotline, Federation of Inochi No Denwa, or Lifeline, which Saito had been running on a shoestring since 1971.
The service provided a key feature — anonymity — in a country where the shame of mental health problems runs extremely deep. It has been deluged.
Lifeline now has 8,000 trained counselors at 50 call centers across the nation open 24-hours a day. In 2001, Lifeline received more than 700,000 calls, of which nearly 25,000 were related to suicide.
Saito says Lifeline has also been considering offering online help, but hasn’t yet worked out training and confidentiality issues.
Lifeline, however, remains a bright spot against the backdrop of the rather dismal mental health care system in the country.
While mental health care is widely available in Japan, it is heavily centered in mental institutions. Newer medications, including most anti-depressants common in the United States, are not widely available.
And out-patient counseling, where it exists, is still in its infancy.
“Japanese psychiatrists in private practice see patients for five to 10 minutes for just medication management after the patients wait for one to two hours,” says Dr. Masafumi Nakakuki, a U.S.-certified psychiatrist in Tokyo. It is just one example, he says, of “mechanical non-human communication between Japanese mental health professionals and their patients. It creates a sense of isolation among people,” pushing them further into loneliness.
Many Japanese mental health professionals are calling for expanded counseling and public awareness programs to lessen the stigma of treatment. Saito of Lifeline calls for school-based suicide prevention programs similar to those run in the United States, but he concedes that the job might fall to parents. “One strong fear among Japanese is that talking about suicide with youngsters might prompt them to be suicidal.”
In trying to explain Japan’s high suicide rate, it’s hard to ignore the influence of the samurai tradition, which glamorizes suicide as a warrior’s way to honorably escape from death at the hands of an enemy — or to escape disgrace. The practice occasionally resurfaces, as in the case of one of modern Japan’s most celebrated authors, Yukio Mishima, who performed seppuku — ritual suicide by sword — in 1970, in protest of Japan’s post-World War II weakness. A nationalist, Mishima longed for a return to imperial rule. Japan also has a tradition of double suicide or “shinjuu” but that practice involves lovers, not strangers.
Experts say Japanese are more accepting of suicide than people in Christian cultures that traditionally viewed it as sinful.
Still, they say, the current trend in Japan is largely not about a noble exit, but about an escape from isolation and pain. The carefully planning behind the Internet pacts suggests to some the depths of that isolation and pain.
“What these kids are doing is ‘advertising’ for suicide partners on the Net, then waiting patiently for someone to respond to the ad,” says author Ohira. “Imagining the state of mind they must be in while they wait, I must conclude this is a new and different kind of suicide from anything we’ve ever known.

[Beckham]

no