Help needed...again and for the last time.

[smashingjj]

I'm busy making another assignment for english. Like the latest one, it's important that it's grammatically correct. Would anyone be willing to read it through and point out if there are some strange mistakes? 400 words only. I will PM the text when it's done.

For the one who helps me, I will harass you fysically and punch you down afterwards. I guess that would be a motivation?

[Ann Ominous]

sorry, that would put too much of a fysical strain on me.

[smashingjj]

ok i'm just gonna post the text for anyone who feels like improving it...



The Weekly Telegraph is a tabloid with an incoherent structure and style of the layout. There are various indications for the cause hereof. After leafing through the tabloid, it’s clear that there are, for instance, differing amounts of pictures and strangely ordered articles. Leafing through the tabloid and looking – not actually reading the articles, considering it’s about the layout, not the contents. Logically one doesn’t get aware of a coherent style and especially, it probably reduces the paper’s readability.

The articles in the Weekly Telegraph are far from perspicuous. It seems like they are just randomly thrown on the pages. It is crucial for a newspaper that the articles are arranged properly, otherwise it is logical that the paper will be generally regarded as vague. On the front page this is not the case, the articles seem to be ordered quite clear, with equal columns. For that matter this is the best page of the paper. But immediately after page one, the layout is very incoherent, with columns varying in height and more strangely, width. Page two seems to be cut in two parts one the left and on the right side, the latter one being the smallest, with short and wide articles, plus a different letter type for the heads. Every page seems to have another arrangement.

When reading the Weekly Telegraph, it is hard to find any logic in the way the paper is built up in its layout. The different pages vary enormously. One can read a page, and see huge photographs. Then, on the next page, there are practically no photographs, but mainly text. Another strange factor in the layout of the Weekly Telegraph, is the varying of using colour in the paper. On the front and the last page are numerous coloured photographs printed. The first twelve mid-pages are printed in black and white, then there are two pages in colour, then again black and white and so on. This illogical varying of styles is very distracting and not good for the readability of the tabloid.

To see if there are more people who share this view, the Weekly Telegraph was shown to a number of people, who daily read newspapers. These men and women were asked to leaf through the Weekly Telegraph and give their opinion about the readability of the tabloid, based on the layout. The result was that two of three readers found the paper was hard to read because of the chaotic layout. The most used argument was that the articles were blurring through each other.
A professional journalist (Arie Hut, formal chief-editor of Pro-cycling Holland) gave his opinion as well. He was not enthusiastic when he looked at the Weekly Telegraph’s layout. “The way this paper makes its layout, isn’t very professional. The articles don’t read well because they’re not arranged in a proper way. A paper needs a steady, recognisable layout.”

The layout of the Weekly Telegraph makes it more difficult to read the paper in an easy way. The chaotic arrangement distracts the reader from the contents of the articles. Therefore, the Weekly Telegraph should invest a little more in improving the layout.

[melombar]

Originally posted by smashingjj
ok i'm just gonna post the text for anyone who feels like improving it...



The Weekly Telegraph is a tabloid with an incoherent structure and style of the layout. There are various indications for the cause hereof. After leafing through the tabloid, it’s clear that there are, for instance, differing amounts of pictures and strangely ordered articles. Leafing through the tabloid and looking – not actually reading the articles, considering it’s about the layout, not the contents. Logically one doesn’t get aware of a coherent style and especially, it probably reduces the paper’s readability.

The Weekly Telegraph is a tabloid with an incoherent structure layout.

After examining the tabloid, it is apparent that there are differing amounts of pictures and strangely ordered articles. (You should elaborate on this. I'm sure you're making a valid point here. If you are going to elaborate on it later, make it a little less specific. If not, elaborate a little more here with a follow up sentence.)

Leafing through the tabloid and looking – not actually reading the articles, considering it’s about the layout, not the contents. (This is not a sentence.)

Logically one does not get aware of a coherent style and especially, it probably reduces the paper’s readability. (??? How does something especially AND probably, anyhow? If you are trying to be affirmative, be affirmative.)

I have to stop here.

[smashingjj]

thanks.