Holiday stress/desperation thread

[FoolofaTook]

I wasn't that bothered by it before the snow but now... yeah this sucks. And it's going to snow more on Christmas Eve which was when I was planning to break my fast.

Why don't you smoke ILP?

[ilikeplanets]

And of course he (B) tells me to go ahead and do it. But he doesn't understand how being blazed af just can't happen for me rn. GRRRRRRR I need to have more coffee

[FoolofaTook]

Originally Posted by Shallowed

God is empty
Just like me

God is that hollow, drug-shapedness within us all.

Blessings fellow baphometite.

[ilikeplanets]

If I'm stoned as fuck no one can be attentive to said baby. It's not like I have anyone to babysit. So I gotta be 100% alert and since its been months since I smoked if I do I will be totally fucking tanked.

[ilikeplanets]

She'll go to school one day and I'll have a few hours to myself to be irresponsible x__x

[ilikeplanets]

Also I only have $20 til the 1st and I can't spend it on pot

[FoolofaTook]

Good reasons. Also your respiiratory system will thank you. Tomorrow will be nine weeks for me and I still find bits of black in my spit.

[FoolofaTook]

Why doesn't your husband watch her a little? Or your parents?

Sorry if I am prying please don't answer if it's too personal.

[FlamingGlobes]

I'm estranged from most of my already small family at this point, so Xmas will be spent with my girlfriend and her family (but only for about 1/4 of the day afaik). She's the only one I bought gifts for this year and I am actually really excited about giving them to her.

In other words, this is a lowkey holiday for me at this point and since the divorce, Xmas just seems to melt right off of me.

[FlamingGlobes]

I've gone overboard this year with gift-giving to myself. I've been scoring cheap horror DVDs off of eBay at a frantic pace. I'm reaching a fuzzy level of compulsive behavior.

[FlamingGlobes]

Gonna settle in for the night with this once I've had a few beers in me.



Also, just really happy to have a 3-day weekend. And again next week.

[FlamingGlobes]

Who's Been Naughty?

[FoolofaTook]

Lol wtf

[ilikeplanets]

Originally Posted by FoolofaTook

Why doesn't your husband watch her a little? Or your parents?

Sorry if I am prying please don't answer if it's too personal.

lots of reasons, i'll probably tell you via pm if i have time or energy

[FoolofaTook]

I didn't mean so you can get high sorry if it seemed like that.

Just so you can take a break.

[ilikeplanets]

I haven't had a break since her bday and i really need a night to just be alone but it can't happen. Worth the sacrifice of course but I definitely have the baby blues atm

[vixnix]

I had a live-in partner and didn't have a night alone for three years.

I was a different person, coming out the other side of that. A person who was taking Prozac.

[ilikeplanets]

yeah i'm having a rough time of it tonight. hopefully i'll cheer up tomorrow. i love my daughter but she isn't a child who can be babysat, at least not yet (or for the foreseeable future). and i am dealing with forcing myself to be sober on top of very little sleep and extremely difficult feedings. and like no support system. wah wah

it's hard to be a good mom. i could just say fuck it, she'll be fine for one night but i don't have it in me to do that. maybe i need happy, healthy, mom friends but idk how to relate to that.

[buzzard]

Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes

I've been scoring cheap horror DVDs off of eBay at a frantic pace.

I once bought Shock 'Em Dead for what would have been roughly $3.50USD. Worth every penny.

Seen it?

[ilikeplanets]

and her father is seriously pissing me off because he doesn't get it and is asking selfish and impossible things of me. ugh someone please understand me


holiday stress indeed

[vixnix]

Honestly those early months are an emotional warzone no matter what your situation is... For me, I was breastfeeding a baby and then 10 minutes later being asked to put out, or face a frustrated partner who hadn't had sex in weeks who was displeased with me and would snap at me or mock me every time I cried because I felt overwhelmed. There were other times where I would finally consent to sex and in the middle of it the baby would start crying and I'd have to listen to the crying while my partner finished up and then go immediately to latch a baby to my breast.

I felt like my body was simply there to meet the needs of others regardless of how I felt about any of it. It was pretty dehumanizing.

This was on top of having to get up during the night for two hours at a time to feed and resettle the baby. No sleep, hormones running riot, feeling like a used up piece of garbage most of the time.

But it gets better. Around 9 months was when I started to enjoy motherhood, finally. And sex. That was new for me because I had never enjoyed sex in my life, up until that point.

It gets better. Just hang in there.

[vixnix]

It was becoming a mother myself that made me realise how much my own mother had done for me all my life, but that realisation didn't stop me from thinking she was foolish, or from complaining to her about things she had done, or whining to her and asking her to do things for me. That shit is pretty entrenched.

That in turn made me realise that you never stop being a parent, the emotional demands change as kids grow and become adults but your kids will cause you to feel stress and anxiety and grief for the rest of your life, no matter what. So, definitely pace yourself. It's a long journey.

[slunken]

I don't think all of that will fit on a tombstone, ma'am.

[Fonzie]

Fuck sakes look at all the moaning in this thread.

[ilikeplanets]

you gotta splurge on a biggin' tombstone, yo

[Run To Me]

Originally Posted by ilikeplanets

yeah i'm having a rough time of it tonight. hopefully i'll cheer up tomorrow. i love my daughter but she isn't a child who can be babysat, at least not yet (or for the foreseeable future). and i am dealing with forcing myself to be sober on top of very little sleep and extremely difficult feedings. and like no support system. wah wah

it's hard to be a good mom. i could just say fuck it, she'll be fine for one night but i don't have it in me to do that. maybe i need happy, healthy, mom friends but idk how to relate to that.

Just go "rrrrrrrrrrr," chew your gums
But really, yeah, dammit
Fucken babies r hard when the babies r us n stuf

[ilikeplanets]

Originally Posted by Fonzie

Fuck sakes look at all the moaning in this thread.

this is a stress thread

[Run To Me]

Babies are so trippy enough you can't even do drugs to them, they ruin the drugs
You won't even get hi you'll just burst from the insides a little more

[Run To Me]

And even if you try to smoke weed after they go to sleep, then you're not sleeping, you're smoking weed
So you're gonna be totally fucked and wrecked and exhausted when they wake up, and you might not get another chance to sleep for 16 hours

[LaBelle]

A proper stress thread should have at least one misspelling in the title signifying the person was too frazzled to even type properly