Things You've Accomplished Today

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

where is the cheesy bread emirate? and can I go there with an israeli stamp in my passport?

there's a 45.17% chance of yes, margin of error +/- 32.68%

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie

Nothing. It's been an awful day. I don't know how to cope with this feeling

Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie

My sister withdrew from her classes. She's on another trip downhill and I don't know how or what to do to stop it. I'm just waiting for the day where I found out she has passed

know these feels. I'm sorry.

my brother has been down for a while. he just up and flew to Tasmania following a girl and is now living on her family's farm, we have no idea what he'll do from here. I wait for that kind of news, too. Or, given that he's a 6'4 half-Samoan, built like a brick shithouse, and an angry drunk, for the day someone calls to tell me he's been arrested for manslaughter after one-punch killing someone.

[ohnoitsbonnie]

My family enables her and treats her like she isn't sick. My dad rubs in my face that she's the golden girl by buying her a car meanwhile her tongue hangs out of her mouth and she can't drive (she needs to have her license taken away). According to my mom it's that she eats badly or doesn't sleep or sleeps too much or it's my dad's fault. From my dad: it's Bonnie's fault.

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Don't ask me how because I don't know. I can't take much more of this

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Everyone is in denial. There's 5 adults living there an they're either too high or up their own asses to take care of themselves or Shannon. I'm considering moving back into what is now Shannon's squalid little room just to keep an eye on her. I want her to stay alive and any day could be the day that is not the case anymore. There's no predictability to her actions other than if she registers for classes, like she's been doing for the last two years, that she'll withdraw or fail and then try to kill herself. She's not histrionic enough to make it a lousy attempt either. She's extremely cognitively dissadenced

[redbreegull]

have you considered some sort of intervention thing? I'm sure you know this but there are mental health people who could help you plan an effective way to step in and navigate the family problems

[redbreegull]

that's not to say I think there is some easy way to fix the situation, clearly it's an amazingly shitty place to be in.

but maybe something to consider if you haven't already

[vixnix]

snap.

My parents have only just stopped (apparently) paying for all of my brother's expenses, including the rent on a work studio separate to where he was living, and a rental car for a week, every three or four weeks. I don't know how many hundreds of thousands of dollars it has cost them to pay for all his expenses for the last 15 years, and sink money into one failed business venture after another.

My mother says I don't understand and my father says he just needs to get a job, but continues to give him money anyway.

If I bring it up, they get angry at me, so I just don't talk about it any more.

My brother has told me on numerous occasions that I'm a bitch and a shit sister and to never talk to him again, and then he turns up at my house without an apology like nothing happened.

Fucking siblings emirate? (34.57% likely)

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

that's not to say I think there is some easy way to fix the situation, clearly it's an amazingly shitty place to be in.

but maybe something to consider if you haven't already

Does this really exist outside of tv shows? Does it cost a reasonable amount? I hope this doesn't across as overly snarky

[ohnoitsbonnie]

I get that there are resources if you have the money. Maybe my parents would if they spent it on what mattered. She has been to every inpatient psychiatric facility within the area. Those highs only last so long. Honestly the problem is systemic and more related to her caretakers' control and usage other rather than the professional care but the care still blows

[ohnoitsbonnie]

As far as I'm concerned mental illness isn't managed unless that person gets to the point where they want to manage it and she is far from there

[ohnoitsbonnie]

I'm mostly just venting. Don't feel obligated to give advice. The venting doesn't help but just a bit

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Originally Posted by vixnix

snap.

My parents have only just stopped (apparently) paying for all of my brother's expenses, including the rent on a work studio separate to where he was living, and a rental car for a week, every three or four weeks. I don't know how many hundreds of thousands of dollars it has cost them to pay for all his expenses for the last 15 years, and sink money into one failed business venture after another.

My mother says I don't understand and my father says he just needs to get a job, but continues to give him money anyway.

If I bring it up, they get angry at me, so I just don't talk about it any more.

My brother has told me on numerous occasions that I'm a bitch and a shit sister and to never talk to him again, and then he turns up at my house without an apology like nothing happened.

Fucking siblings emirate? (34.57% likely)

Enablers find it easier to enable than to do the emotional and rationally tough correct choice. My parents have wasted thousands, probably around 30k on all this schooling that goes nowhere because she gets into phases where she "just wants to finish". She hasn't made any progress. Imagine if I could get my classes paid for haha

[FlamingGlobes]

Guys these are some depressing accomplishments today. Didn't anyone make a lasagna or something?

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Imagine if that money went to actually getting her help haha. I mean they'll pay her hospital bills but any long term facility if they indeed exist is out of the question

[FlamingGlobes]

[FlamingGlobes]

[ohnoitsbonnie]

I know you're tying to be cute so I won't take it personally

[FlamingGlobes]

Thanks

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie

Does this really exist outside of tv shows? Does it cost a reasonable amount? I hope this doesn't across as overly snarky

It does exist. My friend's mom is a raging alcoholic and she found some sort of mental health professional to help her plan an effective intervention... but her dad fucked it up by leaving a book called "Intervention" where her mom found it.

Anyway I'm not sure if this is obnoxious advice, I was just trying to suggest something helpful. I have no idea how much it would cost, I just know that there are real people who can help you plan something.

[useful idiot]

went to work and uhh worked...took a coworker and her daughter home after work. brought home dinner...and made this post.

[FlamingGlobes]

Also,

[FlamingGlobes]

Originally Posted by useful idiot

went to work and uhh worked...took a coworker and her daughter home after work. brought home dinner...and made this post.

Worst porn ever.

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie

Imagine if that money went to actually getting her help haha. I mean they'll pay her hospital bills but any long term facility if they indeed exist is out of the question

my parents paid for my brother to go to rehab. He was kicked out for fucking another addict and the two of them moved to another city together. my parents paid for that, too.

[vixnix]

Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie

Enablers find it easier to enable than to do the emotional and rationally tough correct choice. My parents have wasted thousands, probably around 30k on all this schooling that goes nowhere because she gets into phases where she "just wants to finish". She hasn't made any progress. Imagine if I could get my classes paid for haha

yeah. it's true about enablers.

Is there something about your sister that makes your parents feel guilty? With my brother, they didn't discover his dyslexia fast enough so he ended up hating school and dropping out before finishing high school.

oh and my dad beat the shit out of him on the reg, because my brother was a rebellious asshole, and then he grew bigger and stronger than my dad so my dad had to start calling the police when my brother got angry. Not sure if he preferred that or the police calling him, about some dumb shit my brother had been caught doing

[ohnoitsbonnie]

I don't know and I don't think so. They're narcissists. I know everyone says that about their parents though

[reprise85]

sorry bonnie i have no advice other than to remember these people are adults and its not your obligation to take care of them

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Which is why I didn't drive over there tonight and scream and cry. They'd just accuse me of trying to control them anyway and so even if that is the case (this isn't minutiae, it's a big deal really) I don't want to be accused of it. Not do I want to tell them I told them so when she is dead or much sicker so I'll just lay in bed wringing my hands and unable to sleep or take a deep breath

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Do you know I feel like a bitch when I have to reveal that I'm not talking to my family? There is so much pressure to always be there for them. I managed to take a few weeks off from seeing them and it didn't ease any anxiety and I felt constantly judged for abandoning them

[reprise85]

family is bullshit. that is my ultimate conclusion