ATTENTION MODS: can we please ban Bonnie? Look what she privately sent me:

[LaBelle]

Before we proceed please give me a document in writing that officiates your attractiveness rating, pls.
I only date 8's or higher.

[Trotskilicious]

Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie

I didn't ******* you in the example. There are more people that have been "friendzoned" that aren't you and the sentiments of those men bear repeating so myosis can understand all the implications

i'm not talking about them, i'm talking about how the phenomenon exists and is because of the way the patriarchy conditions straight women to seek men & how dismissing the whole thing as a fedora dude cliche is pretty goddamn tiresome

[ohnoitsbonnie]

I have a thick limbal ring and no trace of malocculuded teeth. What's that make me?

[Trotskilicious]

Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie

I have a thick limbal ring and no trace of malocculuded teeth. What's that make me?

frankly? obsessed with minor "flaws" (because of the patriarchy)

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

i'm not talking about them, i'm talking about how the phenomenon exists and is because of the way the patriarchy conditions straight women to seek men & how dismissing the whole thing as a fedora dude cliche is pretty goddamn tiresome

It's tiresome to hear that unrequited infatuation is some calculated plot by the females

[Trotskilicious]

Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie

It's tiresome to hear that unrequited infatuation is some calculated plot by the females

its social conditioning because of the patriarchy, i just said it in the post you quoted

[Trotskilicious]

i know its way easier to argue with the pepe thats not here

[ohnoitsbonnie]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

frankly? obsessed with minor "flaws" (because of the patriarchy)

What?

[Trotskilicious]

you've been bringing up all your "flaws" in this thread as a means to disprove me

[myosis]

i think your argument is tiresome. the phenomenon will always exist, patriarchy or not... attractiveness or not. on both sides. you can name it what you want from then on.

[Trotskilicious]

mine? whats your point then? that it exists and thats it? you've got no underlying social observation for social phenomena? seems nihilistic

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by FlamingGlobes

Ah, that sucks about losing the DVDs. I have Vol. 1 and 2 of B:TAS and they are relatively hard to track down 'round these parts (aside from, you know, Amazon).

I do agree that they hold up EXTREMELY well. In fact, until The Dark Knight came along, I was one of those "Mask of the Phantasm is the best Batman film so far" people.

Never got into Beyond beyond (see what I did there?) a few episodes. It looks and feels very 2000-y. Am I off base there?

Some music-store chain in my country is going out of business and having these clearance sales, so maybe I'll pop in there to see if they have the shows on discount. That's were I originally purchased the DVDs. Even in the absence of a sale, last time I saw them, they were about $40 each, so that's not too bad for an entire season (just sucks buying shit you've already bought before).


Mask of the Phantasm probably was the best cinematic Batman film before the Nolan stuff (though it's hard to say... it easily beats out all of the '90s films, but Burton's first outing was still really good). Kinda funny how it's loosely based on the comic Year Two, but is way better than Year Two because Year Two was pretty fucking dumb. Usually we complain about adaptations changing too much and not being as good as the source material.

I just love how the show has that definitive Art Deco Gotham City, and how they achieved the dark look by dawing on black paper. And the voice talent was phenomenal. Many of the voice actors are still whose voices I hear when I read the comics (Conroy's Batman, Hamill's Joker, Ansara's Mr. Freeze, etc.) And a lot of the cartoon versions of the characters were so good that the comics themselves changed to match them (Mr. Freeze and Clayface, for instance).

When they changed the animation for the later seasons, some of the character designs became sharper and the animation tended to be more on-model, but overall, I prefer the animation style from the older seasons. It almost looked like animated watercolours.

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

eh, its a real thing that does suck and is heartbreaking and frankly confusing. i feel like most of the people who make fun of it have no idea what its like to be consistently defined as undatable, undesirable, or unfuckable for superficial reasons when there is a personality match...i know the stereotype is the fedora'd dude clinging to a beautiful girl for superficial hope he has nothing in common with to be eventually fucked out of obligation but I've been consistently "zoned" by women i have a lot in common with & get along with naturally. i'm not singling out amorphous "all women"with this or thinking they are entitled to be with me or whatever. But when you meet someone you actually really like & get along with & laugh with and they have no interest in anything beyond friendship because they're waiting for a magazine model with a band to come thru that door it sucks a lot, especially when you're in your mid 30s and you thought we'd be more grown up.

the women i've been with have very little positive in common with me and the women i have the most in common with are not interested in me. yeah cool your friendship's great & shit but i'm in love with you: that doesn't work & goodbye.

The way I see it, there's nothing wrong with feeling sad that somebody you dig doesn't dig you back. There's nothing inherently misogynistic about that. It's a normal human emotion. If that is the phenomenon you're referring to as "friendzoning," then sure, it must hurt.

It's only really when somebody is like "I drove that bitch to work and consoled her after her breakups and bought her lunch and she STILL won't fuck me? Why would I do basic human nice things if they wouldn't lead to me getting laid? Bitches only like assholes, I'm telling you" that it's an entitled assholeish attitude. This is what a lot of guys are talking about when they speak of being "friendzoned."

Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie

Also re: things in common. Isn't that normal? I don't wanna be with myself

It's not like I have a wealth of experience to draw from, but between dating people who don't share many interests with me and dating people who do, I prefer the latter by far. I mean, there was that one woman with whom things didn't work out, and though I liked her, we didn't have much in common. I've since went out with a girl with whom I do feel I have a lot in common, and I click with her 100 times more than with the last girl. Kinda makes me glad that the last girl broke things off with me in retrospect.

Unfortunately, this latest girl with whom I click more hasn't been available for any of the last few dates I've tried to set up, so I'm kinda suspecting that she's lost interest and I haven't contacted her for a little while. Our first date seemed to go real swell it felt like we dug each other, but it could be anything. Part of me suspects that maybe she's thinking "he's a nice guy and we got along, but I don't know if I can put aside the fact that I'm not physically attracted to him." I mean, I'm not physically attractive, so it seems to be the most likely scenario. I'm at least not too hung up over it because I'm trying to talk to as many chicks as possible instead of latching onto one, but the recurring theme seems to be people kinda dropping text conversations, so right now, nobody likes me. Oh well. I dunno, my life could be worse. At least I have platonic friends for pretty much the first time in my life and meds are probably regulating my mood so I don't feel too choked up about being unlovable right now.

[Trotskilicious]

It's only really when somebody is like "I drove that bitch to work and consoled her after her breakups and bought her lunch and she STILL won't fuck me? Why would I do basic human nice things if they wouldn't lead to me getting laid? Bitches only like assholes, I'm telling you" that it's an entitled assholeish attitude. This is what a lot of guys are talking about when they speak of being "friendzoned."

yeah i forgot about the whole manipulative aspect

i was only thinking about some women in my life that we got along together and hung out, laughed at each others jokes, liked the same kind of music or tv, hated capitalism, idk were really good friends and still may be but there was always a clear understanding that i wasn't ever going to be anything more than a friend because i'm so broken and fucked up. i mean i'm still friends with someone who told me this specifically. i don't really talk to her that much anymore and don't know how but yah

[Trotskilicious]

its frustrating because my mother is just as fucked up & broken as i am and she found someone to take care of her and there's literally nothing like that for me, i'm going to die alone and unloved and probably of suicide and the way EVERYONE talks & acts thats my fault

[Disco King]

I know everybody hates some internet stranger telling them to "chin up," because it's kinda like, "thanks for telling me things aren't so bad, faceless person who hasn't lived my life, you've CURED me!", but I dunno, I think things can turn out better for you. You probably have an ongoing struggle with regulating your disposition, and anybody dealing with those sorts of mood illnesses will always have to work hard at communicating with others, and others have to work hard with them. But it's not like you're just some piece of shit person. From what I've seen, you've got a moral core and sincerely care about the suffering. You said you do some volunteer work for some heart disease charity? Or was it diabetes or something?

Either way, you seem like a good guy to me, and I think you'll find a gf who wants to seize the means of production and smash the gendered division of labour witchu.

[Trotskilicious]

i got fired from a cancer info hotline because i was rude to trump people calling me about how obama is trying to kill them by making them buy healthcare

also i was being treated for my illness badly and freaked out a lot i mean its not great talking about cancer all goddamn day and having this terrible understanding that i'm going to be forever alone

[Disco King]

More compliments for ppl ITT:

Bonnie, you're not obese and ugly and I'm sure there are plenty of people who'd like to creep on you as you work out, but that doesn't mean that they should do that because that would still be bad regardless.

myosis, Quebec gets a rap mauvais and a lot of the stereotypes passed about that province probably aren't true.

Labelle and Globes, thanks for being B:TAS buddies.

[Disco King]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

i got fired from a cancer info hotline because i was rude to trump people calling me about how obama is trying to kill them by making them buy healthcare

I burst out laughing in the library at this. Not at you, but at the situation.

It's funny because all those cancer Trumpeters better hope they get rich, or else they are gonna get dead now because of the ACHA. I mean, it's not that funny, because I want sick people to get adequate care regardless of whether or not they are fucktards. Not being a fucktard shouldn't be a prerequisite for basic human rights. But still, it's kinda funny.

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

also i was being treated for my illness badly and freaked out a lot i mean its not great talking about cancer all goddamn day and having this terrible understanding that i'm going to be forever alone

That's rough. Yeah, there are probably better lines of work for people working through certain illnesses of certain severities, especially if they aren't being treated correctly.

[Trotskilicious]

Originally Posted by Disco King

I burst out laughing in the library at this. Not at you, but at the situation.

It's funny because all those cancer Trumpeters better hope they get rich, or else they are gonna get dead now because of the ACHA. I mean, it's not that funny, because I want sick people to get adequate care regardless of whether or not they are fucktards. Not being a fucktard shouldn't be a prerequisite for basic human rights. But still, it's kinda funny.

i would try to explain to them that the only reason they can even get a co-pay on a biopsy is because of obama but they never went to the doctor before so they didn't realize it wasn't free. so they'd just yell at me and i'm sitting here, a commie, wondering why this isn't a single payer birthright and eventually i just had to be like "look do you have any questions for me otherwise i will hang up ok goodbye"

mgmt policy said this was ok but for me it was not so ok, i guess, idk, i think it was a way to get rid of me because im hard to get along with and people tend to be annoyed with me and i can be really flippant and i definitely overshared to make people think i was a misanthrope. after trump i realized i don't hate people i hate what capitalism does to people

few months before i was fired i started a long-term nervous breakdown over a combination of climate change, donald trump, and being in love with someone who i could just tell wasn't interested in that way so it hurt all the time because she sat next to me because the universe is sometimes particularly cruel. she moved to nyc in jan and then i started to come to pieces because it was like there's really never going to be someone like that again and i'm old and forever alone for real

That's rough. Yeah, there are probably better lines of work for people working through certain illnesses of certain severities, especially if they aren't being treated correctly.

theres zero tolerance of it, even people who claim to support the mentally ill hold you responsible. they think you go to a counselor, take a pill, and are "fixed"

someone's brother's, uncle, husband, wife, sister, whatever is always clinically depressed or bipolar and just fine now i'm like so how come we don't have any support groups because the only demonstrably mentally ill person i know is my mother and she was lucky to have my dad the rock of gibraltar

[Trotskilicious]

oh i know all the mentally ill people from netphoria and nobody's "just fine"

[FoolofaTook]

sorry about the girl tlish.

i feel your pain, over and over again, believe me.

[Trotskilicious]

yeah i just wanna be extra real and idk all i want is for people to stop making fun of how much it hurts

[redbreegull]

my current thoughts

re: friendzone

sometimes a bunch of assholes will take something neutral or innocuous and ruin it. Unfortunately I think that's just how it is. We are always battling over language because language is powerful. Sometimes the bad guys win. The literal concept of someone being interested in you but deciding you aren't dating material is obviously a real thing, it's not like some made up fantasy shit. And yes it does suck when your affection is unrequited. But I also see it mostly used by men being dickheads because they are bitter and feel entitled. The term (which originated on an episode of Friends according to wikipedia, who knew) has basically turned into the meme narrative of some poor misguidedly devoted and long-suffering hump who, like a bridge over troubled water, lays him down to show his affection to an undeserving and un-noticing female who doesn't recognize his chivalrous amazingness.

This is not supposed to be an analogy, just a kind of related example, but All Lives Matter is sort of like this. In a literal sense, that is a positive sentiment that I think all decent people do believe. Of course all life matters. But like I said, assholes ruin things as they do, and then that phrase has a connotation that is not easy to dispel and is best just avoided because of the sub-textual meaning it has taken on


re: similarity of interests

I think people look for varying things in relationships. some people really want someone who is a lot like themselves. others look for someone who will challenge them and keep things fresh. I think if you move in either direction you are going to find less and less successful relationships, although huge differences probably make things more difficult than striking similarities.

Personally, things like being able to meet each other on the same intellectual level and having a similar sense of humor are crucial to me, but in other areas big differences can be good. Probably my healthiest relationship was with a libertarian from rural PA raised in a devoutly Catholic family who was into shows and music that were stupid to me like buffy and taylor swift. We had a lot of tension between us, and it while it was good, it was the best.

IMO it's more about willingness to invest in each other's interests and joys than having similar interests. It's incredibly exciting to enter another person's world and share your own life with them like that.

this is one thing that bothers me about online dating. pictures and lists of interests will never communicate the intangible chemistry and passion which can spring up between a seemingly unlikely couple. It's like reading résumés to select who you will call in for a follow up and kills the chance of other kinds of connections.

[fuzzyroes]

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

i'm relaying my experience in dating & you're taking it personal

Sounds like you're the one always blaming everyone else in your dating failures even though you're admittedly not a glowing picture of mental health yourself. Sometimes you gotta just lower your standards in awareness that you might not be perceived as as much of a catch as you believe you might be.

And believe me, I speak from experience with this.

[redbreegull]

Originally Posted by fuzzyroes

Sometimes you gotta just lower your standards in awareness that you might not be perceived as as much of a catch as you believe you might be.

Originally Posted by fuzzyroes

Sometimes you gotta just lower your standards in awareness

Originally Posted by fuzzyroes

And believe me, I speak from experience with this.

[fuzzyroes]

Originally Posted by FoolofaTook

You look fine bonnie

STOP PERVING ON BONNIE! LOOK HOW DESPERATE THIS GUY IS! HOW PATHETIC

[ohnoitsbonnie]

He's not being a perv but I'm not replying to any of this how I look fine. Obviously I don't post unflattering pics. But that also isn't my point

[fuzzyroes]

Originally Posted by redbreegull

What's there to get?

Obviously I'm attracted to the good looking women with rad personalities, but so is every other Tom Dick and Harry. In my mind I know I'm a good dude who deserves a good mate, but sometimes you just gotta settle for people who have previously been "below your standards".

It's what you gotta do sometimes if you want any kind of love-life.

Trots is complaining about being put in the friendzone, but he's a cool guy, if he lowered his standards he'd at least have someone to share a romance with.

[fuzzyroes]

Originally Posted by ohnoitsbonnie

He's not being a perv but I'm not replying to any of this how I look fine. Obviously I don't post unflattering pics. But that also isn't my point

oh Bonnie, you're just being silly and fishing for compliments.

[buzzard]

What does it mean to lower one's standards?